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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Struggling in editing

Not only am I struggling to make 'Manna-X' the greatest writing I've ever done, I'm also struggling with my computer. Halfway through the 1st read, my computer decided to corrupt my master file, losing hundreds, maybe thousands of random words...I hate my computer.
So, I've been listening to Leonard Cohen songs and covers, Hannah Trigwell is FANTASTIC with Hallelujah.
Anyway, so it's back to the grindstone, find those words, add what was lost...

Monday, April 29, 2013

Lejöttünk? Első könyv fordítása...


Első könyv fordítása...Első nap (1-5)...:-)~

http://jottify.com/works/lejottunk/

Az eredeti cím: "Az ember egy fa" nem működik a magyar.
(The original title 'Man by a tree' doesn't work in Hungarian.)
Több jön...:-)


Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Star Trek Green Girl Fiasco

Yes, I seem to be in this type of fiasco, what with my Hungarian translations...
...no one seems to understand me (as Eponymous Rox says). It's like the 'Green Girl Fiasco' in the Star Trek's pilot, 'The Cage', as mentioned in William Shater's 'Star Trek Memories' (page 66-69) (This book is a 'MUST READ'!).
The story: no one had seen a green girl on TV before, and no one had tried to make skin green. Every time they got the rushes back from the lab, the girl's skin was pink. So, they kept trying and trying, spending more money and time, and still the rushes came back pink. Roddenberry called the lab and thec technician said "I've been working overtime the last three nights trying to correct your actresses' lousy green skin tones".
So, I'm in the same boat with translation, I put certain words together, sometimes they've never been put together, I try to stretch the language a little in my own tiny way. Unfortunately, it looks like only my wife and can translate my books correctly...but she doesn't have the time.
A guy I know wanted to translate 'Man by a tree', as he thought it was fantastic. Now, this guy is a great translator, so I was very pleased. Then I got the first few pages and noticed he'd changed words, taken some out and added some too. So, not so great. My wife has done about 25 pages so far...
I'm still waiting on 'Bethlehem Fiasco'...
Now, 'Rage', I asked someone else to have a go at the 1st 3 parts. I was surprised. Without checking it, I immediately saw something. In Part 3, the first line is actually the first line I wrote in the whole book. It was going to be the 1st sentence but the structure changed. This is it...


“Phew! I’m so tired I could watch a dog grow.” 

It was translated to ...
- Fű! Olyan fáradt vagyok, hogy mindjárt összesek. 
...which if you re-translate (Google Translate + me changing it back to correct grammar)...
Phew! I'm so tired that I could collapse. (actually, Google Translate said "Grass" and not "Phew")

This is nothing like the original. Even Google Translate can do something with it...
- Pfuj! Olyan fáradt vagyok tudtam nézni egy kutyát nő.
...oh what to do...as a writer it is my responsibility to get the reader to understand. But how far do I have to reach? And how far does the reader try?




 

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Timeline post

Another reader just finished 'Rage' and said...
"It's great! But one question, how the f**k did you write it?"
'Rage' is complex, has many characters, many entwining plots, finishing on a 'volcano' of action.
'Man by a tree' was the introduction of my little universe. 'Bethlehem Fiasco' was a celebration of it. 'Rage' was the culmination of energy, thought, and ideas. 'Manna-X' allows you to move on, it connects all 3 (actually, TDx2 as well)...okay, all 4 of my works together into 1. Here is a timeline...:-) (I like timelines)
...there's still some space there...:-)


Friday, April 26, 2013

Nice post

Nice is a strange little word.
Origin. 1250-1300; Middle English:  foolish, stupid < Old French:  silly, simple < Latin nescius  ignorant, incapable, equivalent to ne-  negative prefix...
...but now it means pleasing, agreeable, etc.
I was on the HÉV (local train) and heard two almost retired Englishwomen speaking about their holiday in Budapest. The only descriptive word they used was 'nice'...for everything, the weather, the buildings, the people, the tea and cake they'd just had, the train, the sun, the seat, their clothes, all with varying quantifiers (very, etc). I had to get off the train, the last I heard they were discussing teaching English...AHHH!
Just finished editing the 'Manna-X' chapter with Moses and God (2nd time)...it's not often I laugh at the same bit of writing twice! Usually just a 'yes, good', 'yep, that works', but this one where they discuss the 10 Commandments...a big guffaw!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

'Manna-X' draft complete!

Yes, finally the 1st draft is complete! 49,000+ words.
I'll read through it, spot the obvious spelling errors, deviations in the plot, extra little sentences needed / taken out here and there...
I would like some 'beta' readers, ones who could not only give a good comment but also ones who could review the book on Amazon. Anyone? More reviews, more sales.
I've noticed there's an 'Alice in Wonderland' thing going on with 'Manna-X', that's why I changed one of the characters' names from 'Fiona' to 'Alicia'. There are also references to 'Waiting for Godot (so obvious), Men in Black, The Master and Margarita, The Tragedy of Man...the list is quite long.
Repetition is strong, too. Life isn't linear, it's a spiral, things keep coming round, and there's one conversation in particular which goes round in circles.
Anyway, enough. I'm busy reading it now :-)
And thanks for the votes on...http://austinbriggs.com/flash-fiction-contest/what-if-he-was-right-manna-x-excerpt/ ...it's keeping above the slanderer :-)~

Sunday, April 21, 2013

'Not Me' Continuation...(Little Oldme)

Thanks to 'Little Oldme' on my 'Not Me' 55er on Austin Briggs, I have some continuations on the original story. It's nice to rake up some old bones...
The original...'Not Me' (Jan 21 2013)

The pints flowed that night in the pub, him and me drinking through his personal hell. His girlfriend was pregnant and he knew it wasn’t him. I backed him up all the way, I’d help him find the guy. I’d make sure he wouldn’t find out it was me.

Then 'Little Oldme' added the girlfriend of the narrator of Not Me...(least, that's what they thought they did)

The silent tears flowed the next morning at the kitchen table. Him and me, smiling through my personal hell. My best friend was pregnant and I knew it was his. He didn't have to tell me. My broken heart already knew. I'd back him all the way, of course. I'd help him remember that he loved me and, when he did, I'd leave him... and I'd make sure he never knew why.

It's too long, 72 words in all, but hey.
Now I've added the 'Outsider' story...in 55 words :-)



They'd killed his child, without a word to him, not of the pregnancy, not of the abortion. His new girlfriend had left him for something he'd done before they'd met. Why did no one else see it? Ostracised and alone, he realised that fact and truth belonged to the individual, and they were not partners.

Moving on quite well...