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Saturday, November 30, 2013

November 2013 VERSION 2.. what happened...

Version 2 - 1st version was too much 'poor me'...
Not much. After a crazy September of over 1000 downloads and a few sales, in November someone kindly bought a paperback copy of 'Manna-X' and also 'Dani's Shorts'. I have some nice feedback on the beginning of my new book 'How to', but I still haven't finished the skeleton yet. A little more, then I'll add description, senses, edits.

Got some 'LIKES' on my new facebook page, though :-) Thanks! https://www.facebook.com/DaniJCaile

I'm a judge (again) for Iron Writer Grudge Match 2. I did my own take with the 4 'elements' and it was difficult because it had to be a certain type of poem (Terza Rima - a strict form!) I read the 4 contenders and they didn't do any better than me, so I'm happy. There are 2 good ones, 2 not-so-good ones. Only one of the poems uses all 4 elements correctly, and is more entertaining than the others. So I give my vote to that one (if you wanna know, just check them out yourself...http://theironwriter.com/challenge-40-2/)

AND this blog got a mention on 'The Freedom of Speech Daily' here under 'Stories'... http://paper.li/GildasSapiens/1307966531?subscription_id=718ffb10-59b9-11e3-b40b-12313b03037d
...cool...

Things to do...
...watch what happens in the November WEBook Challenge...
...do Grudge Match 3 and see what happens (early/mid December..probably Challenge 42)...
...continue to write up the Iron Writer Challenges + Weekend Quickies until Week 52 and publish 'Dani's Shorts 2'...
...continue to work on 'How to' until it is finished and publish it to 'rapturous' applause....maybe...



Friday, November 29, 2013

And that's your problem

Sometimes I've got my 'hate' head on...

Priest: So you don't believe in God?
Me: No, I don't.
Priest: He is all around you.
Me: Is he? Okay, let's do a deal. You willing to do a deal?
Priest: I...err...
Me: For 10 seconds I'll believe in God.
Priest: Ah-ha...
Me: And then I'll tell you how I feel.
Priest: Ah, yes.
Me. And then for 10 seconds you don't believe in God.
Priest: I don't think I...
Me: Okay, here I go...
Priest: ...
Me. Right. At first I was happier, much happier. I knew God was responsible for everything in my life. Then I realised he was looking down on me and judging me and I felt guilty.
Priest: Oh, he...
Me: And now you.
Priest: I don't think I can do...
Me: Yeah, and that's your problem.

...and I'm the bad guy...like I killed 800 million people.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Feedback (so far) from a rough 'How to'

I already have a little feedback from authonomy.com/jottify.com about my 'How to' beginning, mostly some good solid points made - one guy said I should 'tag' my lines of dialogue..."I was never one for that," said Dani."Pass the salt," said Bob. "No," said Dani.
Need to sort my Short Pitch out...but here are the good things said, so far...
Debbie Roxburgh - "Well, this has certainly made me smile. I have been transported into a strange, madcap world of larger-than-life characters. Some of the scenes had a Monty Python feel to them as they are just so bizarre. There is also a strong element of fairy tale to it which makes for a refreshing mix.... it made me laugh..."

Jack Cerro - "certainly has the comedy angle"
...it's a bit quiet on both website, for me, ATM. WEBook is still 'happening'...
Alina Voyce - "Loved this! I've laughed my way through the first three sections and I'll be back to take a look at the rest as soon as I get a chance. You certainly have a talent for comedy, Dani!  I thought this first chapter was good, but this story just gets better and better!  :)"
SocialGadfly10 - "First let me say that you have a gift, to create such witty and down-right hilarious dialogue is something I can only dream of. This was simply brilliant..."
Erika Walter - "This was fast paced with great imagery and characterization. The voice was clear and spot on through all characters. It was corky and fun and light."
William Stone - "This was easy to read and fun. Good humor and tongue-in-cheek witticism. I would keep turning the page. Thanks for sharing and good luck."
EddieTol - "This was a fun romp, full of humor and tongue-in-cheek comments that work well together."
Aftab - "I do like this. It has the feel of some forgotten Monty Python sketch...Overall, very promising. I sense you'd make a good screenwriter."
Bob Lance - "How many times did I laugh outloud in 750 words? Three at least and lost my place each time. I wouldn't categorize the style or banter as whacky or confusing because I had a visual just from the dialogue. Dani, I have to have this book when you finish."
Ernest Lee - "...the wacky dialogue is very amusing indeed! I'd certainly be impelled to read."

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Facebook page

Yep, made one earlier this year but never promoted it. Now I'm starting. Please share it around, if that is, you want others to know :-)
https://www.facebook.com/DaniJCaile
Moving on with 'How to'...difficult day, had an afternoon of 'deja vu' and even what I can only describe as a 'vision'...are my 'art of dreaming' days coming back?

Friday, November 22, 2013

450th post! 'The Bath Scene'

Why has Goggle changed my whole setup? I need to go around the houses to get here now...anyway...
Just have to share this part with you, what I call 'the bath scene' :-)

'How to build a castle in seven easy steps'
Part 22


Had the little wooden duck been strategically placed? Dilch hoped so.
"What news from the messegners, Dilch? Do they have an answer?"
Wondbarn scrubbed with his favourite sponge. He had a collection of strangely shaped natural sponges taken from the shore, placed along the side of his bath.
"Sire..."
The bull penis shaped sponge was already beginning to disturb Dilch.
"Yes? La la la!"
"Sire, there is an answer of sorts."
"Yes? Well, come out with it, Dilch. What did they say?"
"Probably something like 'Ahhh!', sire. Or maybe 'Urgh!'. Depends on the pain, I guess."
Wondbarn stopped scrubbing.
"You could've broken it to me a bit softer."
"Sorry, sire. I went to the camp, I saw what I saw. There is no reply, and no more messengers."
"A shame, a dying shame."
"Exactly, sir."
"There were a few more miles left in her, too."
"As the teeth go, sire, yes."
"Did you...?"
"No, sire, but I saw the other. Completely dead, stone dead. Good for afters, as the Perviams would say."
Wondbarn threw his sponge into the bath, splashing Dilch and displacing a little too much water. 
"Damn those Perviams! They think they can just ignore my like that, eat my messengers and force me to go down to the local market and pick out another play-thing! I've had it with them!"
"Sire, you could always go to war with them."
Wondbarn stood up, showing much too much of whatever he shouldn't to Dilch.
"Are you crazy, Dilch? Yes, of course my troops are superior to theirs, but the sheer waste of...of...of..."
"Life, sire?"
"No, wealth. It would take everything I have to fight them."
Wondbarn's head drooped.
Straponte ran in with a large smile, which was wiped off the instant he saw Wondbarn standing in the bath.
"No, Straponte, you're not disturbing us. What is it? My new toys?"
"Toys?"
Straponte was frozen in position.
"My war machines. Are they ready?"
"Ready?" Dilch gave him a kick. "Yes! Yes, sire, they're ready...well, yes, ready...ish."
"Ready-ish? What the hell does that mean?"
Straponte turned his head to continue the conversation.
"Oh, don't mind my 'perfectionism', sire. Ready, yes, they are, almost certainly."
"Almost?"
"Certainly."
"Dilch!"
Wondbarn's shout sent Dilch back into the wall.
"I'm right here, sire, no need to shout."
"Just trying out my battle cry."
"Your battle cry is my name, sire?"
"It is when I'm in trouble."
"Thank you, sire." Dilch looked over at Straponte, who was showing signs of weariness and worry. "You still owe, me, git."
"Pass me my towel, Dilch."
"With pleasure."
"To arms, my dear fellows, to arms!"
"Shouldn't you dry your back first, sire?"
"Give me that towel!"

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Authonomy crashed??? Jottify then...UPDATE

I have absolutely no idea what happened to authonomy. Maybe I put my new book on and it crashed..."Oh, no! Not another one! I can't take it!" (pop)
So I'm putting the 1st 10,000 words on jottify.com (a very quiet site, unless you're a poetic genius and 24 hour social junkie)...here it is (this is the link)...please leave a comment and a real name, I'd like to use them in/on the printed book.
I should 'win' NaNoWrimo this year, as much as you 'win' it - it's a personal writing challenge.
And Iron Writer Challenge 40 (Grudge 2) is beyond me, it's 'poetry' and a certain type - so alien to me - I'll have to keep it in the collection, but I'll put a 'WARNING' notice on it..."Not for human consumption".


Oh, I've never been top of the list on jottify before :-) 'History' is made...


'How to' - first 10,000 words (rough)

Well, for those who'd like to have a read, here are the 1st 10,000 words of 'How to'. They're a bit rough ATM, I'm feeling so well, maybe I'm hallocinating, whatever...here they are. Any comment would be well received. Any bad comment won't be. Give it to Grisham.

http://authonomy.com/books/56673/how-to-build-a-castle-in-seven-easy-steps/