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Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Book Cover Reveal 'Dani's Shorts 3' UPDATE

Other people do them, I really don't know why...Book Cover Reveals...so here's the cover of 'Dani's Shorts 3', it'll be out in 4 weeks, I guess, FREE on Smashwords :-)
AND I had to recreate it. I saw it up on the blog and noticed there was a watermark from somewhere...strange...so I found another nice picture :-) Here's the result....



Plus, I'm working on the new novella (10-11,000 words, maybe a little more). Still a little undecided as to the title and what to do with it once it's finished. But going very well (better than my first idea 'Torn'). It works on the same theme - beauty.



Monday, July 28, 2014

Weekend Quickie 46: "5 years later"

Yep, fantastic DL Zwissler did it again, reading out my TIW Weekend Quickie No.46 (and Jordan's, etc).
Okay, so, she needs some acting practise but HEY! She read it out :-)
Hear it here on the Monday show of "Lost & Found"....(my story is at 23:28)
http://www.spreaker.com/user/thefantasyrealm/the-lost-found-show-monday-monday?autoplay=1

...and here it is written down (proofread)...

"5 years later" (TIW WQ46)


(elements - image - alien baby, element - 5 years later, emotion - denial)

"Ah-ha! I finally found it!" Josh threw down a black half-filled binliner on the shop counter.
"What'ya find, Josh?" Berk picked at his teeth with his fish knife.
"You goddamn know exactly what I found! 5 years it's taken me! 5 years I struggled an' suffered in this damn town because you...you did what you did!" The bedraggled old man dropped his spade, took off his gloves and delved into the bag.
"I've no idea what you're on about. I'll ring the nuthouse again, they're doing a special, call and get a straightjacket free." Berk moved to his fingernails.
"You can't deny this anymore, Berk! I've got evidence! I found what you took away that night, 5 years ago!" Josh's hands clasped on something metal and pulled out a cylindrical container. "Now no one will call me crazy ever again!"
"Get that dirty thing off my counter," mumbled Berk, still uninterested.
"No! Not until you see it! Not until you admit I was right!" He ripped open the lid and poured the contents in front of them. "See! Now can you say I'm crazy? It's an alien, an alien baby! They came, we saw...yuck!"
"What d'ya expect, 5 years later?"

You can see it here on the TIW website, along with the others :-)

TIW Challenge 74 - "The Spirit of Aragorn"

Yes, finally all caught up with TIW, just waiting for the 76,77 and 78. I wonder what they'll bring?
Here's my take of Challenge 74 (a bit late). I hope it invokes a reaction...:-)


The Spirit of Aragorn


TIW Challenge 74
(elements - horse, umbrella, car battery, told from the point of view of a defense attorning invoking the Stupidity Defense. (The attorney pleas stupidity, rather than insanity))

"I invoke the Stupidity Defense," said defense attorney Todd Ranson in the most serious tone he could produce.
"Oh, Mr. Ranson, I wish you wouldn't," replied Judge Theadore, scratching his long dappled nose with a hoof. "Do you have to do this every time a human comes to our court?"
"Err, yes, I do, Judge Theadore. It's because they are." With humans, it was the only course of action. Everything they did was stupid.
"Okay, Mr. Ranson. Please, once again, enlighten the court as to this human's stupidity, or as you have so rightly put on so many occasions before, the stupidity of their whole entire race."
"Thank you, Judge Theadore." Todd Ranson looked over to the bewildered human seated in the guilty chair holding a car battery and umbrella. The shock of reaching the court of Equus Ferus Caballus was perhaps too much for the fool. "As you can see, my learned colleagues, this poor specimen of a human is still in possession of the very same tools which substantiate his guilt." Clip clops of acknowledgement came from the jury. "The car battery it tried to connect to the wire fence which surrounded the victim, and the umbrella which saved itself from the pouring rain." The human realised and immediately hid the said items. "And now it probably thinks 'out of sight, out of mind'. The signs of a poor, delusional creature."
"Oh, Mr. Ranson, get to the point," grumbled Judge Theadore, neighing in boredom.
"Well, as you all know, the human race believes that it, and it alone, is the only true intellectual group on planet Animalia, or Earth as they call it." More clip clops and some irate neighing filled the courtroom. "Does this not show how stupid they are, to ignore the pleas and calls from other animals of their destructiveness and selfishness on this planet, dismissing their fellow passengers on this journey of life as mere nonsense and noise?"
"Objection! You cannot put the faults of a whole race on one individual." Prosecutor Red Randalf stood up with two hooves on his desk.
"Objection overruled, Mr. Randalf. Don't you want to get to your oats as soon as possible?" asked Judge Theadore. The prosecutor neighed and stood down.
"Thank you, Judge Theadore. Now, not only do these savages…" Todd nodded over to the human "…continue to enslave, manipulate and murder themselves and other species such as ours, they also still believe in a non-existent entity they call 'god'."
"Isn't that 'dog' spelt backwards, Mr. Ranson?" asked Judge Theadore.
"It is, your honour, a fact lost on these sad moronic parasites. And not only do they believe in such a non-existent entity, but everything that happens in their lives, they attribute to 'god', whether good or bad."
"No matter how many times you say it, Mr. Ranson, it just doesn't get old." The judge and his cohorts neighed in laughter with the whole courtroom giggling. "Everyone knows the universe is controlled by the Spirit of Aragorn."




Sunday, July 27, 2014

TIW C73 - "The Sun Rises In"


It took a while to get an idea for this TIW challenge..until I put a few 'facts' together which moved me in the direction of John Donne's "The Sun Rising"


http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/guide/177309
I decided to create a story from this...so here it is :-)

  The Sun Rises In
73 - (Summer Open Final)

(elements - lost key, travel brochure, thermostat, dessert topping)

"Hell, that damn sun! Doesn't it know how to knock?" John got out of bed crossing the trespassing rays and ran over to the thermostat in the hotel room, tapping it to see if the dial moved.
"John, stop it. You know it's stuck on 30 degrees Celcius." Both woke up in a sweat, dying for a drink. "And it was you who left the curtains open last night."
"We needed the air." He gave up on the thermostat and jumped back into bed with Anne, his latest love, giving her a smile and a cuddle.
"You can always close your eyes, pretend it's not there."
"What? Then I wouldn't be able to see you, my dear!" She fought him off with a pillow. "But why can't it let up for a bit? Go and burn down on someone else! Say Sri-Lanka, they won't notice."
"You were the one who chose this place. Remember all those travel brochures I got for ya? You could've chosen anywhere but you didn't. You could've chosen somewhere cool, like Greenland or something like that, but no. You're a cheapskate!"
"Yeah, but you wouldn't have liked it, Greenland. It's...green."
"No, I wouldn't. Can you get me a drink, darling?"
"Sure." John got up again and tried the handle of the bathroom, the only place in the room with a tap. "Damn! Oh yeah. You and your 'lost key' story."
"Well, I did lose it. Do you think the hotel will charge for that?" she said, grinning.
"Yes, considering this establishment."
"Try the fridge."
"Broken. And empty."
"Oh, John. Did we drink it dry?" She opened her arms and he came back to the bed.
"Remember last night? The restaurant?"
"Oh yes, it was lovely, thanks for that."
"You're welcome, my dear. It was fantastic, in fact, more than fantastic, it was exquisite. But the bill…that wasn't so 'exquisite'."
"You skinflint, you! Don't I deserve a little pampering?"
"Yes, no, err, don't get me wrong, dear, I'd pay a fortune to see you happy…"
"Better. Oh, and that homemade Dulce de Leche on our strawberry ice cream sundaes? That was the greatest dessert topping I've ever eaten."
"And probably the most expensive…"
"But it was the most delicious! How can you put a price on something like that?"
"Yes, you are right, my love. For you I'd pay the price, you are the world to me." He drew her close to him once more, their sweat merging in the heat. "The world."
"If I'm the world to you, then…your world is in this bed."
"Yes. And your point, my dear?"
"My point is, if that is right, then this 'damn sun' shines on your world." Anne stood up on the bed and let the rays hit her voluptuousness.
"Err, yeah, you're right! But it's so damn hot in here…"
"Then complain! Get that thermostat fixed!" She dropped back down on the bed, almost making John fall to the floor. "Call the management!"
"I am the management!"

Friday, July 25, 2014

TIW C75 take - "The whole world's a stage!"

I don't know why, but TIW Challenge 75 (Grudge 7) elements popped out an easy and cool story.
Here's my take of it :-) Dani's Shorts 3 is coming soon, well, as soon as I can figure out what to do with C73 and C74, that is....(plus C76,C77 and C78 when they come out)

"The whole world's a stage!"

Challenge 75 (Grudge 7)
(4 elements: a halberdier, one (and only one) of the characters must be aware of the audience, must be written entirely as dialogue, the story must take place at the Dairy Queen.)




"Hello and welcome to Dairy Queen! How can I help you? Said the suave, charismatic shop assistant."
"Erm...am I in the right place? I wanted Dairy Queen."
"Yes, sir! Today it's 'Medieval Day' and each member of staff is dressed appropriately. I'm a halberdier. Look folks, I sharpened the end of my halberd for added authenticity. Spiked Josh a good 'un earlier, eh?"
"Oh good, I thought I was in that Camelot restuarant for a moment. Didn't know they did Blizzards, too. Threw me off a bit."
"No, sir, only Dairy Queen does Blizzards, in over twenty different soft serve blends!"
"Why...why are you talking and looking over your shoulder like there's an audience behind you? All I see is the wall."
"Ah-ha! The whole world's a stage! Isn't that right, folks?"
"There, you did it again. Is there a camera or something? Am I on Candid Camera again? I remember last time..."
"The whole world's a TV show, sir! Like my costume, folks? Got it from the best fancy dress shop in town."
"Yes...nice outfit. Now, can I order? Or are you going to talk to that brick wall behind you all day? And knight. Ha!"
"Please, sir, no knight jokes. Poor Ted is still trying to get over his last customer. I think it was the 'tinned food' joke. But then, it would be, wouldn't it, folks?"
"Oh dear. I'll have two Flamethrower Chicken Wraps, please, one Side Salad, and two Double Fudge Cookie Dough Blizzard Treats."
"Any drink with that, sir? You know, we always have to ask that, folks, the amount of times people eat our Flamethrowers and come rushing back to order a drink..."
"Stop talking to the wall. Yes, okay, you have a point. Erm, no, not drinks. I'll have two Peanut Butter Sundaes, please."
"We're doing a special on Chillers at the moment. Wouldn't you like to change your order and try a couple of Strawberry Lemonade DQ Chillers?"
"No, no, thanks, and watch out for that spear of yours, you almost took my eye out with that."
"Spear? Spear! This is a halberd, sir! It has an axe, a spike and a thorn at the back of the axe. It is said that one of these sliced through the back of King Richard III's skull at the battle of Bosworth! And that a Swiss peasant used one of these to kill Charles the Bold, the Duke of Burgundy, ending the Burgundian Wars in a single stroke! This, sir, is not a spear! Was that a bit too strong, folks? I thought I did quite well."
"Really? Well, thanks for the history lesson, and your suit is very nice, indeed, but all I want is my food. Can you deal with that instead of waving your six foot weapon around and talking to the wall? Oh, forget it, I'll go over to that all-night diner...hey, all 'knight' diner, ha! Put that on your halbred and smoke it. Have a nice day!"
"Why you...!"






Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Back in Paper.li :-)

Got another mention on another Paper.li newspaper, Erania Pinnera's paper to be precise. It's nice to be noticed, if only for a moment...
Find it here under 'Arts & Entertainment'...
http://paper.li/EraniaPinnera/1334841073
...OK, here's screenshot...


AND...through an error of mine, I got a few KDP borrows today, the first time EVER...I might see a few pennies come my way...a few, just a few.
The new book is coming along fine :-)
PLus Dani's Shorts 3 is around the corner....

Monday, July 21, 2014

Dani's Shorts 2 5 star review :-)

Been away from the internet for a few days....camping.
Definition: Camping: for those who wish to feel tired AFTER sleeping.
Working on my new book...and trying to keep up with THE Iron Writer...and talking of TIW...
...got a 5 star review, on both Amazon.com AND Amazon.co.uk from Hunter S. Jones!!! (I love her, really, she's fantastic, always there when I need some help) Meet her here...
https://www.facebook.com/HunterSJonesPR

5.0 out of 5 stars 'Miley Cyrus?' July 20, 2014
By Hunter S Jones
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Dani's Shorts 2 is just fantastic. I love the way he can tell stories in such short yet meaningful stories. The charm and intelligence of the author shines through in every story. But...Autumn Equinox Final- Miley Cyrus? Only a genius would conjure up this. Loved this book. All of it. 

Get DS2 (and DS1) for FREE on Smashwords here...
https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/2766