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Monday, February 2, 2015

New interview up on Stevie Turner's blog! :-)

Yes, Stevie Turner, great indie thriller writer agreed to interview me for my new book, 'How to build a castle in 7 easy steps'!
The interview can be found here....
http://www.stevie-turner-author.co.uk/interview-with-dani-j-caile

Or here...
https://steviet3.wordpress.com/2015/01/30/stevie-interviews-published-author-dani-j-caile/

The book can be found here...in Kindle and Paperback :-)

http://www.amazon.com/Build-Castle-Seven-Easy-Steps/dp/1940938430

...still only has one lonely review :-(




Monday, January 26, 2015

'How to build a Castle in 7 easy steps' on Kindle!

'How to Build a Castle in Seven Easy Steps' is on Kindle!
Come and read the sample at least!

http://www.amazon.com/Build-Castle-Seven-Easy-Steps-ebook/dp/B00SOZYR6G

The review is there, too...and I'm trying to sort out an interview...later :-)




Working on the next book, a dectective/murder story. I've got the main gist of it, just need to write it out...




Sunday, January 25, 2015

5* Review of 'How to Build a Castle in 7 Easy Steps!' :-)

Got my first review of 'How to', from my ol' buddy Jasper T Scott, author of the 'Dark Space' series.
Looking for more :-)
http://www.amazon.com/Build-Castle-Seven-Easy-Steps/dp/1940938430

Here is the review!

5 stars!
Format: Paperback
Hilarious! With his usual dry humor, Dani J. knows just how to draw a laugh from his readers. This book is no exception! I'm reminded of a number of older movies and television shows whenever I read Dani's work. The Carry On series of movies comes to mind, as well as the sitcom, Fawlty Towers. Then there's the American classic, Robin Hood Men in Tights. If you enjoy a light-hearted tale with satirical and dry humor, then you'll find this book irresistible!


...and here is a reader with the book itself! :-)


Friday, January 23, 2015

How to build a castle MAP

You can't see it yet because only the paperback is out at the moment... but there is a small Tolkien style map inside before the story. Gary did a fine job :-)

So, here it is... nice, huh?

Thursday, January 22, 2015

My take of TIW C99..."Sucks"

Unfortunately, even with winning the Popular Vote, I only came 2nd in the TIW Winter Solstice Open Final. The 4 judges were very unkind to myself and another story, which I thought they would pick.
There was one piece of feedback...

4. Not So Neighborly : All elements present. I could see the try for humor, but, for me, the whole story was difficult to follow. To be truthful, I’m still not sure that I actually “got it.” Errors in grammar and syntax were distracting.

My feedback on this judge's feedback?
There were no errors in grammar and syntax in my story. I'm an English teacher, proofreader and philologist. What do you think, huh? This judge also mentioned another story had errors, which it didn't, BUT seemed to completely ignore the many errors in another. This judge is incompetent. And that shows because they didn't "get it". What is there to "get"? On a superficial level, it is a couple talking about the noisy neighbour. On a deeper level it is a comment on the "Je Suis Charlie" massacre, the neighbours being religions. Didn't get it, huh? No surprise.

TIW...it's been 2 years. I think "Dani's Shorts 4" will be the last. I am in Challenges 100 and 105. I will finish with it then.
But before that happens, here's my take on Challenge 99!

SUCKS

(cartoon image of writer drinking coffee, smoking and trying to write, a howdah, Told from a POV of an alien who views humans both as food and pets, floor buffer)


Stravskee said there were good pickings on this planet and he was right. He did warn me, however, that I’d have to watch out, as these beasts weren’t all as dumb as they looked, with their smooth hairless bodies and four protruding limbs. Some took them home as pets, finding their grotesque form ’cute’. How they thought that, I had no idea, they were disgusting, their habits and smells so alien to me. I was here for food. The light jump between the last few quadrants had made me peckish. It was time to taste this so-called 'food from the heavens'.
"Ben! Is there anymore coffee? I really need a refill."
One of them was bent over a wooden structure, with smoke escaping from a long tube in its mouth, perhaps some breathing device. Its body sat on a metal stool and with one of its free limbs, bled a blue liquid onto a pressed fibrous material, creating scribbles on its surface. My first meal.
"No, Lexi! I’m going down the pub! I’ve started the ’monster’ up!"
"What? No, honey, you can’t do that! How can I concentrate on writing my novel now?"
"Close the door! Anyway, you’re the one who chose it! I wanted a Henry but you had to go and buy this souped-up floor buffer!"
"It’s an XV-12!"
"It’s a menace, that’s what it is! It sucked up one of my slippers the other week!"
These creatures were noisy, with their many mating calls and gestures. I would pounce on this first portion of meat as soon as they quietened down.
"It’s just very efficient."
"You said it would ’free us to explore other roads’. Well, I’m off to explore Tooley Street."
"No, wait!"
"Why?"
"Can you bring me a refill?"
"What are you? Some Maharaja on a howdah? Get off your arse and get your own coffee!"
"Please!”
The closest creature held up some ceramic object. This was clearly a symbolic ritual of release from the mate as the other poured a liquid into the reciprical and left the area with a loud bang of wood. Another sound began further away but this did not bother the sitting beast, who began to bleed more blue liquid onto the fibrous material. It was time to make my move. I crept closer to the wooden structure, hidden by my cloaking device and looked up at my next meal. The file mentioned that there were many ways to down this creature, though from here it was difficult to make a sudden attack. It needed to be standing. I threw a sound grenade between the wood at the end of the confined area and heard the explosion.
"What the hell?"
The beast stood up and separated the wood. Now was my chance! I readied my stance and allowed my claws to extend to their full length. My mouth began to drool with the impending taste of blood. A large and loud machine entered my view, its pull was too strong...








Tuesday, January 20, 2015

TIW C98 my own take - POISON

Still a few days until the TIW Winter Solstice Open Final finishes. I have NO IDEA how the judges voted on this one, I can only hope I win the popular vote and get at least 2 points ahead.
To 'fill your gills'...

Here's my Weekend Quickie 81 (83)...

Not lovers Quarrel


(Love, Ice cream, Murder, Heterophobia. 150 words)

Dawn dropped her ice cream and ran, not knowing what else she could do. The screams of passers-by alerted two policeman who happened to be standing at the corner of the plaza.
"He's dead!" howled an old woman, holding one hand to her mouth. "She murdered him!" Her other hand pointed in the direction of Dawn, now jumping down the steps in her Dr. Martens to the metro station below.
She had no idea...why did she react that way? Why did he have to tell her that she loved him? She was gay and he knew it! Enraged, she broke free of his 'loving' embrace and stabbed him in the chest with her overly sharp metal wristbands, the official badge of her 'wolfpack' of lesbian friends and lovers. It was no accident he was dead but she'd never planned to do it, either.
"Stop, madam! Police!"
She kept running.

And Challenge 98 will happen next...here's my own 'take', I love it...

POISON


(Botticelli game, long hair, Tiger lily, Steampunk goggles)

"Did you paint a picture of Venus rising?" asked Valerie, smiling from ear to ear. A few tokes and she was high. Once you got used to the stench of his mother’s cat, Beef’s kitchen was warm and inviting.
"You always start with the archetypal question, don’t you?" Beef sat there at the table, his long hair hiding his actions.
"Wrong answer. You’re meant to say…"
"I know what I’m meant to say. No, I am not Sandro Botticelli." He was tinkering with something but Valerie couldn’t see what.
"Are you…? This is boring, you need more people to play this game. Besides, I prefer Vermicelli."
"Food, you’re always hungry, too. Do you know how predicatable you are?"
"I’ll give you predictable!" Valerie smacked him one across the top of his head.
"Predicatable."
"I am not!" She ignored him until she was sucking roach. "What are you doing?" she asked as she destroyed the cardboard filter in the ashtray. Beef stopped what he was doing and lifted his head to reveal aomng other things, a wonderful bunch of spotty orange flowers. "Ooo, they’re nice. Are they for me?"
"No, they are not." He busied himself with chopping up some of the flowers on a board.
"What are you doing? You’re destroying those!"
"They’re dead already." He continued to chop more.
"What are they? Aren’t they some kind of lilly?"
"Tiger lily."
Beef’s mother came in and Beef híd something under his arm and covered the flowers with his hair.
"Have you fed Alonzo, yet?" She was referring to the cat.
"No, mum. I’ve got a tin here."
"Okay, well, I have to pop out to the shops. Hold the fort." And she walked out of the back door with handbag over shoulder. Beef sat up again and Valerie noticed the cat food under his arm. Their eyes met.
"Tiger lily. Did you know…"
Beef liked to lecture. Valerie searched the table for tobacco papers.
"…has many medicinal uses?"
"I did not know that." She licked the papers, put them together and took out a cigarette.
"It helps in supressing aggressive tendencies…"
"Rather like weed, then, eh?" Breaking the filter off, she ripped open the fag and arranged the tobacco.
"…and has proved to help in the nausea and vomiting of pregnancy."
"I’ll have to remember that one," she winked, taking out her weed and sprinkling some along the pile.
"When baked, the bulbs taste rather like potatoes."
"Cool. When we run out of chips, we’ll all go down to the florists." She wrapped up the paper, licking it closed and twisting one end shut. Only the roach needed.
"But…" Beef pushed the tin of catfood forward and opened it by pulling up the key. From nowhere, the cat Alonzo jumped up on the table. "It has toxic effects on cats." He scraped the flower pieces into the tin and mixed it up. "That’s the last time he poops in my Steampunk goggles."
Valeries watched open-mouthed as the cat tucked in.


Did you like them? Tell me...




Monday, January 19, 2015

How to Build a Castle...how deep can you get?

Initial sales of the 'How to Build' paperbacks was cool. It almost got into the Top 50,000 books for the day (ranked 50,539) and as an author I got into the Top 10,000 for Book>Literature&Fiction>Genre!
The real sales will happen when my fantastic publisher goes 'on the road' and visits a ton of conventions. Hopefully, the right person will pick a copy up and BAMM!
So what's it all about? You can take it as a piece of entertainment or you can go a little further. The cover is fantastic, some might buy it just for that!
Okay, so, deep...let's go down...POVs (points of view)...
There are 4 POVs, all people (or animals) trying to survive. You have...
Tilotes the cat, suffering from his own hunger,
Norby, reacting from the actions pushed upon him,
Alice, surviving by living under the wing of someone desiring power and wealth and
Chief Haykes, surviving by leading.

Only one of them dies. Guess which one?
Here it is in paperback :-) (cheaper today, I don't know why)
http://www.amazon.com/Build-Castle-Seven-Easy-Steps/dp/1940938430