'Dark Space' FREE!!!

Yes!
'Dark Space', that great little sci-fi written by my buddy Jasper T. Scott is FREE for 5 days!
So, if you haven't got it yet, you should pick it up...
For those on Amazon.com, here's the link http://bit.ly/darkspace14
For those in the UK, here's the link :-) http://bit.ly/darkspaceian
And here's his website...
http://www.jaspertscott.com/
Please click away! It's FREE!

Almost lost it

Today I opened up a little to a writing question, but the conversation was taken over by another writer and the person I was having 'a laugh' with. They went all obtuse. I thought, 'wow, some people are so much better than me'. Then I went off to sample the 'other writer's work...I was hugely disappointed, a sheep in wolf's clothing, or visa-versa maybe. I've met a TON of these writers in the last few years, they speak loud and hard, write like shit and even worse, write dull - the worst crime.
Although I'm tired and this book living inside my head is killing my sanity, I will continue. I will finish this latest short story collection, and I WILL finish this 5th book, just to spite those who think they are so goddam clever, collecting 100+ 5 star bogus reviews for their crummy books. I don't care who doesn't read my books. Someone is. Not many, but someone is. I raise my finger to bogus indies and career writers everywhere.

Latest 500 worder (TIW Ch. 50)

Dani's Shorts 2 is almost ready, just 2 more challenges to wait for and a few Weekend Quickies.

Here's a taste of what's inside....this is Challenge 50...hope you like it :-)

"Never Again"

( 4 elements - snow rollers, harpy, nail gun, motorcycle airbag)

Escaping through the door, still clutching the paper bag, he slipped and slided to where he’d left his bike. No snow had fallen since entering but a cold penetrating wind had begun, cutting through his thick ski jacket and woollen undergarments. Climbing onto his bike, he placed the key into the ignition and fired her up. By his reckoning, he had a few minutes jump on the beast. With both feet on the ground, he rode his bike out of the carpark and took the quickest way home, along the farm road and through the forest. There was a loud smash behind him as though a window had been broken. It was free.

"Goddamn it!”

He revved his motorbike to max and sped down the road, hitting bumps and almost losing his seating once or twice. The bike bounced badly once more and he narrowly stopped himself from joining the large snow rollers in the fields to his left. Sighing with relief, he heard an ominous sound of beating wings overhead. With a screech, the Harpy divebombed him, scratching its claws into his helmet, but he swerved to the right preventing it from keeping its grip. It screamed in frustration as it saw the forest appear, forcing it to fly higher, unable to get to him.

Once in the cover of the forest, the Harpy could only follow him from a distance and he felt safer. He looked up to see its progress and his bike hit a rock, sending it straight into a tree, head-on. Luckily, he’d listened to his uncle’s advice and bought a Honda Gold Wing with airbag instead of some fancy speed killer. But even with the airbag, his helmet broke in two and rather shakily, he picked up the paper bag and left his beloved bike, running through the deep snow in the direction of home.

A few metres into the cover of the trees, he noticed Old Ted’s place, a small wooden hut, and he remembered something. Clearing the snow from the outside workbench, he found what he was looking for, Old Ted’s portable combustion nailer. Losing no time at all, he turned around and started shooting nails at the Harpy, who was now racing towards him on foot through the snow. The nails had no effect on the creature.

He dropped the now useless nail gun and ran back into the forest, but to no avail, the Harpy clutched onto his back and flung him down into the soft virgin snow. Its claws ripped at his jacket and he could do nothing to stop its onslaught. The end had come.

"Oh, alright! Take it, goddamn you!”

He threw the paper bag as far away as possible and the Harpy scurried away to retrieve it. Searching in the snow, with a screech, it took the paper bag and devoured its contents. Sitting up watching, he pointed his finger at the beast.

"But I’m telling ya, that’s the last time I’m taking you to KFC!”

Publishing in 2 weeks

Did some tinkering with 'Dani's Shorts 2' cover, seeing as it's only 2 more weeks before it has a chance of 'publication'. See the cover below...
Talking of publication, I've written 2 short stories for 2 anthologies, 1 is accepted (Attack of the Killer Pogo Sticks) and the 2nd is now being read (Tracer's Choice (steampunk)). But as to when they'll be published, who knows...

Rewrote Challenge 49...The Muppet Show! :-)

Yes, I just didn't feel that my entry for Challenge 49 was any good, really. It was okay, but not up to a high standard. As it stands, I won't win the challenge, and I don't need to, being only a substitute for someone who pulled out.
BUT...one of the elements was 'a muppet', so I couldn't just NOT do a Muppet sketch, now could I?

I put it in the comments on the page, and if you can leave a comment, I'd love that :-)
http://theironwriter.com/challenge-49/
Please! A comment...:-)
But hey, here it is anyway...

Muppet Respect

"What's on?"

"Let's see...oh, right, the Muppet Show! Always good for a laugh."

We sat down on the sofa to get ready for some entertainment.

"Kermit! We've gotta have that flamingo dancing act on right now!" Scooter came racing backstage.

"But Miss Piggy is stuck in the elevator!" said Kermit.

"Kermie! Get me outta here!"

"We're working on it, Miss Piggy!"

The elevator engineer turned to the camera.

"If you'd kept to the maximum weight restrictions..."

"I heard that!"

"Kermit!" shouted Scooter.

"Send in the clowns!"

A collection of crazy clowns with chainsaws ran onto the stage. Kermit heard the sound of screams from the audience and the motors slicing through limbs.

"Send out the clowns!"

A clown with a bloody chainsaw came back offstage.

"What? We're killing them out there!"

"That's my problem! Scooter, get them off the stage!"

The clowns left, disappointed.

"No one likes clowns anymore."

"Especially with chainsaws," retorted Kermit. Fonzie appeared with a green zombie.

"I'll go on, Kermit, with my new partner, Braindead."

"But he's a zombie!"

"And you're gonna hold that against him?"

Scooter appeared again.

"Kermit, they've started throwing food!"

"Oh, Kermie! When exactly are you going to get me outta here?" asked Miss Piggy, still stuck.

"In a moment, Miss Piggy!"

The engineer shook his head and restarted his cutting torch.

"I promise!"

"Now they're throwing their colostomy bags and Prosthetic limbs!"

Gonzo walked by with an artificial leg.

"Hey, I can use this in an act.Where's my wonderful Camilla? Camilla?"

Fonzie went down on one knee.

"Please, Kermit, please!"

"Oh, okay, then! Go! Get out there!"  Kermit sighed.

The music started and the double act went on, wearing large blonde wigs.

"I tell ya Fonzie, I got stuck in an elevator the other day for 3 hours!"

"3 hours! Kerrrrrmiiiiie!" shouted Miss Piggy offstage.

"3 hours?" asked Fonzie.

"Yeah, it was torture."

"Well, that's nothing. I got stuck on an escalator for six!" Fonzie looked towards the audience, accompanied by a drum roll and cymbal crash.

Statler and Waldorf woke up in their balcony seats.

"If I had a joke that flat..."

"...it would be a pancake!" They both laughed.

Braindead was now holding a sign showing a red cross painted over a sine function.

"Hey, what ya doing?"

"I'm protesting against Trigonometry."

"Really, well, what's that?"

"It's a 'stop sine'."

Another drum roll and cymbal crash. Statler and Waldorf started again.

"Well, that one really 'divided' the audience."

Fonzie tried to ignore them.

"What have you got there, buddy?"

"It's Bruce Lee's "Tao of Jeet Kune Do"." Braindead was eating it. "I like to read and digest a book."

There were a few laughs.

"Man, I don't know about you, but I'm always hungry an hour after eating Chinese."

Statler and Waldorf beat the drums.

"I don't know about you, but I found that one 'wonton'."

Drum roll and cymbal crash.

Fonzie and Braindead left the stage.

"How did it go, Fonzie?" asked Kermit.

"Don't ask, just don't ask."

Blog Tour - Special Attraction by M.L. Ryan

I promised to do this, and I do it with pleasure :-)

'Special Attraction' by M.L. Ryan
(The Coursodon Dimension Vol #3 - Paranormal Romance/Fantasy (18+; There is some adult language and sexual situations))

My review...

I’m not really into reading about a young blonde shape shifter named Hailey who, while on the trail of a murderer from another dimension, finds a dog and calls him Rufus. But the light humour within the main character held it all together for me. It's not often an author tries a little humour in this genre. The rest, however, the ’hawk to human’ transformation, the ’working with a team from another dimension who are superior to humans’ scenario, the ’haven’t really cottoned on to the obvious’ parts of the story, they've been done before...BUT not like this. With a smooth written style and light humour, this book is a fine example of its genre. Even though she was blonde, I found myself liking the main character and following her story, waiting for the next step. I recommend this to those who like to read this genre.

I'll give it 4 stars for trying to be different :-)

Buy Links

Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HBJ6340
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/388212
CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4574172

Author Bio

M.L. Ryan is a professional woman - which is not to say that she gave up her amateur status, but rather that she is over-educated with a job that reflects her one-time reluctance to leave school and get "real" work – and she spends a lot of time in that profession reading highly technical material.

She has many stories rolling around in her head, and she finally decided to write some of them. She prefers literature that isn’t saddled with excruciating symbolism, ponderous dialogue or worldly implications. She also doesn’t like plots so reliant on love at first sight that it makes her feel like her head might implode.

She lives in Tucson, Arizona with her husband and teenage son, four cats, two dogs and an adopted desert tortoise.

Social Media Links 

Website: http://www.CoursodonDimension.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MLRyan1
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/CoursodonDimension
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3384189.M_L_Ryan
Blog: http://coursodondimension.blogspot.com

Giveaway: There is also a giveaway for this tour. $25 Amazon Giftcard or PayPal Cash. 

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/share-code/ZmY2YTRmMWY3Mjc5Y2EzMGNkNjRiZDc0MmI2ODFmOjI0/

Anthology heaven

Newsflash: Rage will be 'FREE' on Amazon tomorrow : 28th January :-)

Before I delve into editing 'How to'...I'm even thinking of changing the title to "How to build a clan in seven easy steps"...I have the chance to get into a few anthologies :-)
I'm already in The Iron Writer anthology 2013-2014, with seven (so far) 500 word stories, and I'm promised a 3000 worder in a "Celebrating 50s Horror movies" type anthology. There is also a chance of another short story in a Steampunk anthology. I have a little time to do it...it is a difficult genre for me to write in, but I already have a plot and the opening scene. The genre is very detailed, very precise, lots of...well, it's new for me. Interesting but new.
And THEN 'How to' - I read a few pages and it needs some work, so don't expect a quick publish :-) A little time is needed....but it's definately something worth waiting for :-)