Here's my story in better format than the website...:-)
(elements, written as a radio script, Rav Shaul, one character has a paper bag on their head, include all processes of beer brewing without mentioning beer.)
"THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T CARE WHAT YOU ARE" / CAILE
1 SFX TWO PAIRS OF FOOTSTEPS WALK TOWARDS
2 EACH OTHER, SOUND OF A PAPER BAG
3 RUSTLING AND A COUGH FROM WITHIN. ONE
4 PAIR OF FOOTSTEPS STOPS.
5 TED: Shalom.
6 SFX VOICE OF RAV COMES FROM UNDER
7 A PAPER BAG.
8 RAV: Shalom.
9 TED: Err, Hi. My name's Ted. Who are you?
10 SFX SECOND PAIR OF FOOTSTEPS STOPS.
11 RAV: Rav. Rav Shaul.
12 TED: Who?
13 RAV: Rav Shaul, you know?
14 TED: Shaul? Oh, Rav Shaul! You're a Gentile!
15 RAV: Yes…what? No, that's a misunderstanding, I'm a Natsari Jew!
16 TED: Yeah, right, Rav. Pull the other one. Err…but Rav? Why have
17 you got a paper bag on your head?
18 SFX SOUND OF SIGH FROM INSIDE PAPER BAG.
19 RAV: I thought that would be obvious.
20 TED: Good point, seeing as you're a Gentile. Any stones around here?
21 RAV: I'm not a Gentile! I'm a Natsari Jew!
22 TED: Whatever. So, you're still reading the Torah then, eh?
23 RAV: Of course! I'm a Rabbi! Look, see? Never leave home
24 without one.
25 SFX SOUND OF LARGE PARCHMENTS BEING
26 OPENED, THEN BEING CLOSED.
27 TED: Oh, right. But, really, I heard you were…a Christian.
28 SFX: LARGE SOUND OF THUNDER
29 RAV: Christian?
30 SFX: LARGE SOUND OF THUNDER
31 TED: Yeah, Christian.
32 SFX: LARGE SOUND OF THUNDER
33 RAV: No, not me. Those Chri…
34 SFX: BEGINNING OF THUNDER
35 RAV: Those Gentiles…they get -soaked in water-. I don't.
36 TED: Yeah, crazy, right? You'd have to be -slightly cracked-
37 to do that.
38 RAV: And they're -steeping- in love and harmony and all that
39 'Hallelujah' jazz...whatever that is...I've absolutely no idea…
40 TED: Oh, Christ, yeah.
41 RAV: Mind your language.
42 TED: Sorry.
43 RAV: Yes, well, everything that those Chri…Gentiles were before is
44 -rinsed out-, -extracted-. They are -separated- from our grand
45 teachings by that small group of 'disciples'. Pah!
46 TED: Yeah, so I heard.
47 RAV: And then they are -boiled- up, cleansed and -sterilized- with
48 all that talk about 'loving their God'. That's…just not me.
49 TED: That guy they follow…who is he again?
50 RAV: Jesus.
51 TED: What? What happened? What did I do now?
52 RAV: No, Jesus, Jesus Christ. That's the guy's name. Jesus Christ.
53 TED: Oh, right, right. Yeah, 'course it is.
54 RAV: Then they sit and -ferment-, talking about the 'Old Testament'.
55 Not me, no, sir.
56 TED: What is that all about, eh? 'Old Testament'?
57 RAV: Beats me. But they are so -settled-, so sure of themselves.
58 It is quite an achievement to do this in our time of unrest.
59 They are -stabilized- with their 'Scriptures', with no
60 -cloudiness- of mind.
61 TED: Those Chri…Gentiles, they're a bunch of special -cases-,
62 if you ask me.
63 RAV: Yes, well, it was nice meeting you...err?
64 TED: Ted.
65 RAV: Yes, Ted. But I have to -wrap it up- here, Ted, I've got a
66 circumcision at 4.
67 TED: Oh, right, well, sorry to hold you up. Have a good one!
68 RAV: …yes, quite.
69 SFX RAV'S SET OF FOOTPRINTS MOVES OFF.
70 TED: Okay, well, Shalom!
71 SFX VOICE OF RAV FURTHER AWAY.
72 RAV: One born every minute…
73 TED: Sorry?
74 RAV: And 'peace' upon you, too…shmuck.
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