Thursday, December 18, 2014

Tasteless Post...Germans and "Tampon Printing"

I was proofreading a USB stick website the other day and came across "tampon printing". I thought it strange. Of course, that would be "tampo printing" or "pad printing" a 2D to 3D printing. I informed the website owner and they said the Germans call it "tampon printing"...mmm...
I found a tampon USB stick on the net...can you believe that?

I wrote to a few German companies but they ignored are still "tampon printing"...sigh...

DISCLAIMER: I'm a writer. Creativity comes from...who the hell knows!

Now, tasteless though it is, I made a list of just what exactly Germans would print on tampons, as if you would, who the hell in their right mind would, but that's Germans for ya...the translator I was working with became quite ill after a few of's a picture and my list! :-) (if you are easily disturbed, please look, too late...)

Tasteless list

"Dive, dive, dive!"
"Ooo, it's dark in here..."
"Oooo, this one's deep..."
"Sucking it up!"
"Can you smell fish?"
"First one in?"
"Today this bucket, tomorrow the world!"
"Dis iz my hole!"
"I'm scared of the dark."
"Be gentle."
"Insert this way"
"Run this through me one more time. I go in there?"
"Turn a light on!"
"Do not reuse."
"This is gonna hurt you more than it'll hurt me."
"No! Not again!"
"And here we go a-wandering, a-wandering we go..."
"Tell me you love me"
"I'm gonna fill ya!"
"How was it for you?"
"Do not put in mouth"
"Hair surrounds the hole this is intended for...unless you have a job for "Shaven Monthly" or you are a Bavarian housewife."
"This way in"
"Do I go in here often?"
"Well, hello there..."
"It's always the same, you only put me in when you need me!"
"Is it just me or can anyone else smell blood?"
"Ooooo, I feel a bit queezy..."
"Sorry, what was your name?"
"What? Not even dinner first?"

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