Long time no posts again!
Been busy writing...at the moment I'm in a completely new format TIW Grudge match, trying to wrestle with another author's ego (Jordan Bell) as well as my own. We're on our 2nd (3rd?) attempt at creating a collaboration 500 word story with some insane elements. We might get lucky.
I'm also now waiting on 3...yes, 3 anthologies, two from Three Fate Press and 1 from the Indie Collaboration. I have no idea whether any piece will be published yet.
Still waiting on the cover artist of "How to build a castle in seven easy steps"...no reply...apparently I am 'impatient'...if I'd self-published the book would've been out now...but I'd be in the wilderness. Better to wait. It's an 'epic'. If anyone catches on to that fact, "Hello fame, hello fortune"..yeah, right...the action of writing something which might make a change is the reason I'm doing this...
There should also be a fantastic new little interview somewhere...though I can't find it ATM...perhaps the person forgot to post it.
Later...:-)
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Thursday, September 25, 2014
Thursday, September 18, 2014
When TIWs get together...The Mirror
Yeah, I won TIW Challenge 81! The popular vote got it for me, as it was evens-Stevens after the judge vote...I know who hates me now...won't be saying 'hello' to that one for a while...so I'm in the Autumn Open :-)
And today, a TIW impromtu relay 'just happened' :-) Both myself, Mathew W Weaver and Christopher A Liccardi (Mathew started this one) had a go at another of Jordan Bell's facebook profile pictures, a particularly 'scary' one in a steamed up mirror...that guy has more profile pictures than...than...anyone I know :-) Here's the result (well, it went on a little further, but here's my punchline :-))
The Mirror
(Impromtu relay 18 Sept 2014)
C81 | J1 | J2 | J3 | J4 | PV | Total | ||||||
A Bear in the Woods - Dani J Caile | 2 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 9 | |||||
House of the Golden Slayer - Laura Roberts | 1 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 13 | |||||
Mamma and Papa's House - M. D. Pitman | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 14 | |||||
Little Schiz-pot - Neal Sayatovich | 4 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 24 |
And today, a TIW impromtu relay 'just happened' :-) Both myself, Mathew W Weaver and Christopher A Liccardi (Mathew started this one) had a go at another of Jordan Bell's facebook profile pictures, a particularly 'scary' one in a steamed up mirror...that guy has more profile pictures than...than...anyone I know :-) Here's the result (well, it went on a little further, but here's my punchline :-))
The Mirror
(Impromtu relay 18 Sept 2014)
Mathew W. Weaver
The muzzle was still warm when he laid it down on the sink.
The metal hit the ceramic with a clang loud enough to make a normal man jump,
any man with the nerves of jelly after what he had just done. But this was no
normal man.
Dani J Caile
No normal man at all. His reflection in the mirror seemed
foggy and...distant. Who was that person staring back at him? Those eyes, that
nose, the lack of hair on the top of his head were all so familiar and yet...
Jordan Bell
Uh oh. Here we go again!
Uh oh. Here we go again!
Christopher A Liccardi
Strangely different. He had been wearing another face the
last time he looked at his reflection. It was a woman this time. She was
pretty, or had been, blonde and naive. Her first mistake was to open the door
when the bell rang at...
Dani J Caile
...two minutes til the witches' hour. How was she to know
that keeping awake at that hour procrastinating with her buddies on facebook
would lead her to such a violent and lethal fate? The hynoptising trancelike
backbeat of a Justin Bieber song still rang deep in his mind.
Mathew W. Weaver
It was all so confusing. He leaned over and gripped the
edges of the sink tightly, his knuckles whitening. He breathed out, glanced at
the mirror, and looked away. His gaze fell on his hands. In the dim light and
the steam off the shower, he could barely make them out. Were they thick, burly
red sausages or slim, dainty white feminine digits?
Dani J Caile
Shaking his head, his vision cleared and he breathed a sigh
of relief. His manly hand , strained and tense, grasped the thin long ungrilled
vienna virsli he'd taken in those last stressful moments of the struggle. But
that face...?
Christopher A Liccardi
and those memories;
flashes another persons life. He was an intruder in those things he saw. Each
familiar, but each one glaringly not his own. He wasn't going to have them
long. He needed to feed again... and soon. This time he was thinking about that
writer who had run into him in the Stop and Save parking lot. What an...
Dani J Caile
...absolute waste of pen and paper, those King clone
scribbles he'd noticed over his shoulder. It would be a blessing to the world
if that writer was his next victim.
Mathew W. Weaver
And then, with that
thought, everything became so much more clearer. The throbbing headache faded
and his vision, inexplicably clouded again, spontaneously cleared. He saw the
blood on his hands. He saw the pistol within grasp. He knew what he needed to
do....
Dani J Caile
Go and grill those vienna virsli!
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Dani's Shorts 3 hits 100+ free downloads!
Finally! DS3 goes over 3 figures...even for free it's difficult for an unknown writer to get their books downloaded...read is another matter...reviewed is even harder.
DS3 on Smashwords...
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/470944
DS3 on Amazon...
http://www.amazon.com/Danis-Shorts-3-Dani-Caile-ebook/dp/B00N7YGLBS
The highest ranking was No. 9626 in the Free Kindle Store...small steps...
A few TIW things going on...
Challenge 81 is still on, and I'll be in Grudge 11, a special one, later...later...oh, soon...:-)
DS3 on Smashwords...
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/470944
DS3 on Amazon...
http://www.amazon.com/Danis-Shorts-3-Dani-Caile-ebook/dp/B00N7YGLBS
The highest ranking was No. 9626 in the Free Kindle Store...small steps...
A few TIW things going on...
Challenge 81 is still on, and I'll be in Grudge 11, a special one, later...later...oh, soon...:-)
Monday, September 15, 2014
Dani's Shorts 3 FREE on Amazon!
Yes, I made 'Dani's Shorts 3' available for FREE on Amazon for the next 4 days. If you prefer to download it from there, here's the link...
http://www.amazon.com/Danis-Shorts-3-Dani-Caile-ebook/dp/B00N7YGLBS
A review would be nice, too :-)
Of course, it's always FREE on Smashwords, but it's not so Kindle-friendly I guess...
Trying to get to 100 downloads...yes, I know it's not much, but it's another small step.
Challenge 81 is still on until THursday, so if you really think you know which story is mine...the funny one...then please vote :-)
http://theironwriter.com/challenge-81/
http://www.amazon.com/Danis-Shorts-3-Dani-Caile-ebook/dp/B00N7YGLBS
A review would be nice, too :-)
Of course, it's always FREE on Smashwords, but it's not so Kindle-friendly I guess...
Trying to get to 100 downloads...yes, I know it's not much, but it's another small step.
Challenge 81 is still on until THursday, so if you really think you know which story is mine...the funny one...then please vote :-)
http://theironwriter.com/challenge-81/
Sunday, September 14, 2014
My take on TIW 82 :-)
Someone had the idea of changing their 'tagwords' on KDP Amazon to match the famous writer their work is close to...so I added Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett...they didn't allow me to put Dan Brown...too many misleading hits, apparently...I think the Brown Mafia have something to do with it. Let's see what that does....
And yes, here's my version of TIW Challenge 82, another 'marital strife' type dialogue
...if you haven't voted for my story in Challenge 81, please do so...it's the solemn funny one....
http://theironwriter.com/challenge-81/
The Brother
TIW Challenge 82
And yes, here's my version of TIW Challenge 82, another 'marital strife' type dialogue
...if you haven't voted for my story in Challenge 81, please do so...it's the solemn funny one....
http://theironwriter.com/challenge-81/
The Brother
TIW Challenge 82
(4 elements - A Arnold Schwarzenegger Commando
Action Figure, A New (10th) Circle of Hell (meaning you have to make it up and
give it a title), The Dunning Kruger Effect, Perfume Atomizer)
She came in, spraying her perfume
atomizer around the room. Someone was coming round. Who was it?
"I've told you a thousand
times, my work doesn't smell." I sealed the box up and put my collection
of Amblytelus ground beetles away into their particular drawer.
"I don't care. I hate those
things. Smell or no smell, I think they're disgusting."
"It's my work, dear, my field
of expertise." To make her feel more at ease, I opened the window to let
some fresh air in.
"My brother will be here
soon, so take those joggy bottoms of yours off and put on something
more…respectable."
"Your brother? But that's the
second time this month? What does he want now? More money?" I checked my
wallet, making sure there was enough to cover such a visit.
"Brian! How dare you! He's my
brother. If he needs money, then we can help him out."
"Why doesn't he get a
job?"
"Brian!" She rushed
across the room, spraying her perfume atomizer along the furniture and the
sofa, only to find her supply running out.
"Well, he thinks he knows
everything!"
"You know he's
unskilled…"
"Yes, but he's always ready
to tell me what's right and what's wrong, isn't he? It's those muscles of his,
it makes him think he's some kind of superhero who can do anything. I'm sure he
suffers from the Dunning Kruger Effect…"
"He's my brother, you can't
talk about him like that! And anyway, there's nothing wrong with a little
muscle…"
I watched as she left the room and
emerged with a plate load of sandwiches from the kitchen.
"A little muscle? He's got
more muscles than a caterpillar!" That last remark caused her to stop in
her tracks and tutt.
"Ah, I knew you'd have to
bring your Entomology into this at some point. You just can't
stop thinking about it, can you? My brother takes care of his body and as I
said, there's nothing wrong with his muscles."
"Absolutely.
Every day, 8 to 4, in that gym. My old Arnold Schwarzenegger Commando
action figure had less muscles than him. Except for one, of course." I
tapped the side of my head and she shook hers.
"Well please don't go into
some intellectual tirade like you did the last time. You know how upset he gets
when he doesn't understand something. He broke grandma's China vase, remember?
We're running out of the old inheritance."
"Yes, I remember. He's rather
like a gorilla, don't you think? His dire apathy towards knowledge is killing.
They should invent a whole new Circle of Hell just for him, 'Apathy of
Knowledge and Understanding', perhaps. A little different to ignorance,
wouldn't you say? Ignorance isn't really a choice for him, it would be a step
up…that place would be good for a few other people I don't care to
mention..."
She clenched her fists, pushing
them down to her sides and her face went a deep purple.
"Don't bring my parents into
this!"
Saturday, September 13, 2014
TIW Weekend Quickie 53...different
It's the first of many different Weekend Quickies to come at TIW from DL Zwissler :-)
The rules have been changed, but I still have power to do it!
And it's...well, go and see it for yourself!
http://theironwriter.com/weekend-quickie-53/
Got 'How to' back from the editor this week, and I immediately read through it and sent it back. The quicker I am, the quicker it'll come out :-) Oh, it's 'an entertaining read' ...they keep telling me.
Still waiting for the 100th copy of 'Dani's Shorts 3' to go out...almost there after a few weeks out. OK, not so great but hey! Get your copy now...
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/470944
I'm also in Grudge 10 on TIW....Challenge 81...sorry, no names and I can't tell you which story is mine but I do humour as you know...
http://theironwriter.com/challenge-81/
Yes, there's a lot of links on the post :-)
The rules have been changed, but I still have power to do it!
And it's...well, go and see it for yourself!
http://theironwriter.com/weekend-quickie-53/
Got 'How to' back from the editor this week, and I immediately read through it and sent it back. The quicker I am, the quicker it'll come out :-) Oh, it's 'an entertaining read' ...they keep telling me.
Still waiting for the 100th copy of 'Dani's Shorts 3' to go out...almost there after a few weeks out. OK, not so great but hey! Get your copy now...
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/470944
I'm also in Grudge 10 on TIW....Challenge 81...sorry, no names and I can't tell you which story is mine but I do humour as you know...
http://theironwriter.com/challenge-81/
Yes, there's a lot of links on the post :-)
Saturday, September 6, 2014
1 year of TIW Quickies + Celebration Story!
Thank you, Mamie Pound, for giving us at TIW the Weekend Quickie, 52 weeks of 200 word 3 element stories :-) I'll miss you at the helm :-)
Here's my 52nd Weekend Quickie on the TIW website, a melancholy 200 words...
http://theironwriter.com/weekend-quickie-52/
BUT...
to celebrate a whole year, I wrote a story using 1 element from each week (the element and not the picture or feeling), 52 (I chose 2 elements from the 12 available at Christmas). Find them if you can :-)This piece is a little melancholy, too...is this a phase I'm going through? Anyway, hope you like it.
Surprise!
Here's my 52nd Weekend Quickie on the TIW website, a melancholy 200 words...
http://theironwriter.com/weekend-quickie-52/
BUT...
to celebrate a whole year, I wrote a story using 1 element from each week (the element and not the picture or feeling), 52 (I chose 2 elements from the 12 available at Christmas). Find them if you can :-)This piece is a little melancholy, too...is this a phase I'm going through? Anyway, hope you like it.
Surprise!
If I recall, it was a Saturday
afternoon at a local Iron Writers Convention. Five Iron Writers were present when
I got there but like some forgotten rule of thumb, I couldn't remember their
names, though I knew their faces. They held the convention in the Flora Bama bar,
right next to a strange cyclorama of a burning wicker man set in the Scottish
Highlands and a live element of eight ladies dancing a jig in the foreground,
all organised and produced by some local artist. While melodical musical notes
wafted over the sound system, I began to daydream and think back to yesterday
morning at Mamie's…
With the smell of fried bacon and
just brewed coffee, I made my way into the kitchen. She was nowhere to be seen.
Lavender wafted through the open French doors, mixing with the breakfast smells
and turning my already weak stomach. I opened the food cupboard to be greeted
by a can of alphabet soup and a can of pumpkin, with a rotting coconut cake
Mamie had made for Easter...at Christmas. A pack of lifesavers sat on the
counter and I took a tangerine one. Far away in the garden I heard the sound of
singing. Was it her? A message in a bottle on the top of the fridge said it
all.
'Dear Dani, Your mother gave you a
little errand. Make two coffees and bring them out with you, following a trail
of Mardi Gras beads. At the end of the trail is an arrowhead bordered by a
dandelion bracelet. It will show you the way. Yours sincerely, Mamie.'
I did as the message asked and
found her in a little summerhouse by a large rockery. We greeted each other and
I placed the coffees on the table. She passed over a coin.
"What's this?"
"A present for a handsome
newspaperman's birthday, a 1909 penny covered in Mars dust. Happy
birthday!"
"Err, thanks, Mamie. Where
did you get it?"
"From your sister. Ha, kind of a tip from a waitress, so to speak. Go
on, your mother said you had to make a birthday wish now."
The annual birthday ritual with
Mother. It was easy to choose, 50-50, but it was never a pleasant experience,
and now that she was gone, it was Mamie who was left to do her last dying wish.
Mother had hired a room at her place for the past few years and they had spent
so many evenings together they'd become inseparable.
"Truth or dare?"
"OK, let's do it."
She took out Mother's old coke
bottle and spun it around. This bottle was like a portent that provoked fear in
me every year, but this time, for perhaps the first time ever, it stopped on
'truth'.
"Oh. Wish upon a star?"
"A star? It's eight o'clock
in the morning."
Mamie looked glum but then gave a smile and settled herself into
her chair."Your Mother said that if it landed on 'truth' then I'd have to
tell. You're 40 this year, so maybe it's better if...err...you know about some
things. She'd been prepared to tell you for years but..." She pointed to
the bottle. "She said it always came up 'dare'."
"What things, Mamie?"
"Your early years...your
'real' early years..."
She took out an old photo from her
pocket and handed it over.
"This is me as a newborn
baby. I haven't seen this before…err, what's that on my face?"
"Err…" Mamie had a look.
"It's cumerindine. My grandmother swore by it."
"Great...and what's that in
the background? What! I was born in the back seat of a Greyhound bus, rolling
down Highway 41? Are you kidding me? What about that old photo of me in the hospital?"
"I don't know about that, but
your Mother said that she had to hitchhike from the bus to the hospital."
"Really?"
"Yes, the bus didn't go that
way."
I sighed, relieved that this truth
wasn't so bad.
"Phew, I thought it was going
to be really bad, like I was adopted or something."
Mamie flinched.
"What?"
"Err, well, not adopted as
such…" She passed me another photo.
"Who's that?"
"It's your father."
"My...but my father
is..."
"No, this is your real
father. Who you thought was your father was actually your step father. Your
mother said that this man is your father." As the shock hit me, Mamie
continued. "She said that he had such a feeling of strength and
independence about him. She first met him in the summer of her Junior Year at
High school..."
I quickly calculated it in my
head. Surely that was wrong. How could this be my father?
"That would make me 44,
Mamie."
"Yes, it was 5 years later.
She met him again, a chance encounter during a cake walk at a fete. He'd lost
his shoes. Apparently, he was really something. She said 'some people can look
at a mud puddle and see an ocean of ships'. He gave her one of these."
Mamie showed me Mother's five gold
rings. It had always been a mystery as to who that fifth ring had came from.
"Why...where...when can I meet
him?"
"Oh, he's gone now, a freak
accident when a Halcyon flew into his helmet while he was riding his
motorbike."
"Oh. So no father-son reunion,
then."
"No. Sorry, Dani."
"That's okay…but…but she said
I got my nose from my father. His nose is nothing like mine."
"Your nose…well…do you really
want to know?"
I nodded.
"Okay. When you were old
enough to walk, you were obsessed with moving lights and things, you know,
snowglobes, lava lamps and the like. She couldn't drag you past a shop window
without a fight. You squashed your nose up against the glass so many times, you
got a permanent pugnose."
"What? Next you'll be telling
me that this wolf bite I got on my arm 'cause I thought the thing was a lost
dog with no collar, isn't!"
"It isn't."
"What?"
"It's a birthmark. Same as
that one she said was a rattlesnake bite when you tried to save a yellow
scorpion."
"What?"
First my birth, then my father,
and now my infamous bites…
"Uh-huh." I examined
both 'birthmarks'. "I see it now. How stupid of me to believe they were
bites."
I looked straight at Mamie. A
thousand emotions ran through me, a million images, and the world started to
spin…
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