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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

My TIW Challenge 54 take

Keeping up with TIW. Thought I'd write in the style of the BBC, when comedy heads get together and come up with nothing and call it surreal...:-) NOT like Spike Milligan, he could come up with the goods almost EVERY time!

My Challenge 54 take..."BBC Surreal Satire at its worst"

Charley watched as the new arrivals landed and queued up for passport control. Unfortunately, he hadn't felt well for days and this was his first day back after a week of illness. After ducking down to take a glass of water, he came back up to see that the first arrival through was a 6' watermelon carrying a purple rucksack.
"Err...good day."
"Good day." The 6' watermelon passed Charley an EU passport.
"Is, err, is this your passport?" asked Charley, a little confused.
"Why, yes, it is. Anything wrong?" The watermelon scratched its head.
"I've just come back from a scrapbooking convention in Phoenix, Arizona, you know? Very enjoyable, very nice."
Scrapbooking convention? Sounded awful, a bunch of old girls with photos.
"Sir…" He called a watermelon sir? "This picture is not you."
"Sorry? What? Not me? What do you mean?"
"The picture in your passport doesn't match your present appearance." How could it?
"Of course it's me, who else could it be? That's my passport."
"Your passport?" Charley looked at him, shiny and clean, probably extraordinarily juicy inside.
"Yes, that's my passport and my picture!" The watermelon stamped its 'feet'. Charley scrutinised the picture more.
"But this picture looks like Walter Koenig, aka Ensign Chekov from the Original Star Trek Series. In fact, I'm sure this IS a photo of Walter Koenig, aka Ensign Chekov from the Original Star Trek Series cut out of a magazine." He showed it to the watermelon, holding it up against the inside of his glass cubicle.
"Oh yes, really, I do see a similarity of sorts…" confessed the watermelon.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to call airport security." Charley moved to his intercom and went to hit the buttons but the watermelon, now sweating, pushed itself against the cubicle.
"Look, you've gotta help me. There's a particularly unfriendly cuccumber back there I'm trying to get away from. I'm sure he's after me, I'm sure he's after my pips." Both Charley and the watermelon looked down the line, and there it was, a large 8' tall cuccumber waiting in the long queue, menacingly staring at them.
"Sir…" Again with the sir? "I'm trying to do my job here and if you have a grievience with any of your fellow passengers then please take it up with either them or your airline service supplier. My problem is that this picture is not you, it is Walter Koenig who played Ensign Chekov in the Original Star Trek Series, and not that there is an 8' tall cuccumber in the queue behind who is after your pips."
"Oh, alright, it's a fair cop, guv'nor. I got that picture at the convention."
"Thank you, sir. Now I'll just contact airport security and we…"
The watermelon was off, running across the hall of cubicles, looking for a way out of the terminal, bashing into people and falling over baggage.
"Not another watermelon, eh?" said Charley's colleague.
"Yeah. It's strange, you usually only see them at the weekends."

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