My Challenge 54 take..."BBC Surreal Satire at its worst"
Charley watched as the new arrivals landed and
queued up for passport control. Unfortunately, he hadn't felt well for days and
this was his first day back after a week of illness. After ducking down to take
a glass of water, he came back up to see that the first arrival through was a
6' watermelon carrying a purple rucksack.
"Err...good
day."
"Good day."
The 6' watermelon passed Charley an EU passport.
"Is, err, is
this your passport?" asked Charley, a little confused.
"Why, yes,
it is. Anything wrong?" The watermelon scratched its head.
"Well..."
"I've just come back from a scrapbooking convention in Phoenix,
Arizona, you know? Very enjoyable, very nice."
Scrapbooking convention? Sounded awful, a bunch of old girls with photos.
Scrapbooking convention? Sounded awful, a bunch of old girls with photos.
"Sir…" He called a watermelon sir? "This
picture is not you."
"Sorry? What? Not me? What do you mean?"
"The picture in your passport doesn't match your
present appearance." How could it?
"Of course it's me, who else could it be? That's my
passport."
"Your passport?" Charley looked at him, shiny and
clean, probably extraordinarily juicy inside.
"Yes, that's my passport and my picture!" The
watermelon stamped its 'feet'. Charley scrutinised the picture more.
"But this
picture looks like Walter Koenig, aka Ensign Chekov from the Original Star
Trek Series. In fact, I'm sure this IS a photo of Walter Koenig, aka Ensign Chekov from the Original
Star Trek Series cut out of a magazine." He showed it to the watermelon,
holding it up against the inside of his glass cubicle.
"Oh yes, really, I do see a similarity of sorts…"
confessed the watermelon.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to call airport
security." Charley moved to his intercom and went to hit the buttons but
the watermelon, now sweating, pushed itself against the cubicle.
"Look, you've gotta help me. There's a particularly
unfriendly cuccumber back there I'm trying to get away from. I'm sure he's
after me, I'm sure he's after my pips." Both Charley and the watermelon
looked down the line, and there it was, a large 8' tall cuccumber waiting in
the long queue, menacingly staring at them.
"Sir…" Again with the sir? "I'm trying to do
my job here and if you have a grievience with any of your fellow passengers
then please take it up with either them or your airline service supplier. My
problem is that this picture is not you, it is Walter Koenig who played Ensign Chekov in the Original Star Trek
Series, and not that there is an 8' tall cuccumber in the queue behind who is
after your pips."
"Oh, alright, it's a fair cop, guv'nor. I got that
picture at the convention."
"Thank you, sir. Now I'll just contact airport security
and we…"
The watermelon was off, running across the hall of cubicles,
looking for a way out of the terminal, bashing into people and falling over
baggage.
"Not another watermelon, eh?" said Charley's
colleague.
"Yeah. It's strange, you usually only see them at the weekends."
"Yeah. It's strange, you usually only see them at the weekends."
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