Today was no different. A respected (as we all are) member of TIW, Neal Sayatovich, decided to change his own facebook profile picture. I won't reproduce the picture here, you can use your large and expansive imaginations...no, hang on, scratch that, here it is, on a post on his blog about this 'happening' (http://nsayatovich.wordpress.com/2014/05/04/making-an-impression/).
Myself and another TIW, Mathew W. Weaver (his wonderful post of the 'event' can be found here...http://ramblingsandraving.blogspot.hu/2014/05/the-tale-of-depressed-goatee-when-tiws.html) took it upon ourselves to show humble respect for the man with the green goatee by posting an impromtu unplanned relay story. I had to share it...so, with permission from both Mathew and Neal, here it is :-) Enjoy! (Numerous friends laughed their guts out).
Dani J Caile
Neal loved his pet beard. It was the most loyal and warm of
all his clumps of facial hair, and on cold wet morning walks it would save its
master's chin from the perils of the northern winds.
Mathew W. Weaver
The relationship Neal shared with his goatee went beyond
that of mere man and beard. It was a bond of unity, of brotherhood, of love
beyond measure.
But neither could have seen how this bond was to be put to
the test, when that fateful morning, Neal looked into the mirror to see the
newly growing sproutlings of a pair of sideburns.
Dani J Caile
And there the dilemma began, a rivalry never seen before on
the face of Neal. At first the sideburns were mere ornaments, emphasizing the
manly contours of his broad face, but then they grew, unabated until they too
became a major feature on Neal's facebook profile picture.
Mathew W. Weaver
Goatee began to feel it was being left out. All the facebook
selfies Neal took now displayed the unabashed glory of those chunky
sideburns... and yet never failed to heartlessly crop out the lower half of
Goatee's dwindling majesty.
Dani J Caile
For a while, all was calm, one existing without the other,
each reigning over their own territories of their master's domain, basking in
their own prickily existence, until that one fateful day when their hairs
intwined...
Mathew W. Weaver
...the day when
Neal, while stroking Goatee, reached up and began to stroke The Sideburns as
well. To Goatee, the abandonment was raw, undefinable. That its strokes were
being usurped by stubble of much lower birth....
Dani J Caile
...and higher altitude. Goatee had no other choice but to
summon the help of his dear old friend and patriot, Comb, to suppress and push
down The Sideburns' audacity!
Mathew W. Weaver
But Comb, though literally a lifelong friend to Goatee,
would not take its side. As despair, dismay and hurt grew, Goatee began to lose
weight. It would wake up every morning feeling more brittle than the day
before, and grew paler as the days passed.
Dani J Caile
It wasn't long before Goatee, once filled with life and
vigor hitherto seen upon Neal's face, lost all hope and sadly turned into the
bedraggled green mass of facial bristles that can now be witnessed on facebook.
Mathew W. Weaver
Remorse overcame The Sideburns. They never meant for Goatee
to lose its lustre, shed its shine, turn into the patch of fungus that it
resembled now. For the sake of Goatee, their stricken brethren, they decided to
let go of life, to moult away and leave Neal's cheeks as soft and as baby's bottom
smooth as it had been before the troubles began.
Best story ever!!!!!!
ReplyDelete