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Monday, July 23, 2012

6th review of 'Rage' from YouWriteOn.com


Here's the 6th review of  'Rage of Atlantis'. The 5th review was the lowest rating, so that'll have to go once I've got a few more...

"A lot of fun with serious undertones
In general – This is very well written. The pace is fast and keeps going. Clues are dropped subtly at exactly the right moment and that make it compelling to read on. I love the quirkiness. God’s assistant is Audrey. Great.
Beginning “hook” – The beginning is really exciting and gives the reader a lot of tantalising information. I must know more.
Story – I could keep the groups of characters apart and follow and become excited by the subplots. One missing element was who or what the “souls” are. I can project my idea, but I felt an emptiness of hints and clues.
Showing and telling – The story is shown very vividly. Again, good writing.
Character – I like the variety of names. Greekish names for one group; God and his crew another; Kang Dee is different again in what it evokes (and her kids are so funny). The groups are distinguished well, which is an achievement. I am unconvinced by dolphins being involved in the way you say because of my stereotype of dolphins. I am more engaged with the story than the characters. I haven’t specially connected to any of them and I miss that.
Setting –I wanted more colour, feeling, smell. This is the only area I can suggest development. I didn’t need a lot. After I’d read the text I realised I couldn’t “see” it.
Scenes – Again, really good. Concise. Each moved the story along. This is an achievement.
Dialogue – Good. Serves the story and the characterisation really well.
Language – Good and serves its purpose. Two speeches felt long: Oediouspelus and Kailen’s tirades. Perhaps I miss a certain richness of metaphors and similes – and perhaps they are not part of what you are writing which is more about action. (I hope this vagueness is a little bit helpful.)
I deeply wish you well with this."


That '2 star' from the 5th...%/?+*!


Characters
Story (plot)
Pace & structure
Use of language
Narrative Voice
Dialogue
Settings
Themes & ideas

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