Wow! Already got my first comment/review for 'Manna-X'! Okay, so she only read the 1st two chapters but hey!
It's from Debbie Roxburgh, her book Speedy McCready is in a position for the Editor's Desk for the end of the month on authonomy, which means a REAL editor gets to look at your work.
And AGAIN, someone (who doesn't know my other work) says it's 'original' ! 'Man by a tree', 'Bethlehem Fiasco', 'Rage of Atlantis', and now 'Manna-X'?! (people only said 'TDX2' was 'fresh and lively', though I think someone said 'original', can't remember...
I'll use this comment for the back cover..."quirky, bizarre, amusing and above all, original"
Anyway, this is what she says...:-)
I have read the first two chapters.
I haven't come across
anything quite like this on the site so far. The beginning really
pulled me in with Rihat digging a hole to bury his 'precious cargo' in.
Alone is the desert, or so he thinks, until he hears a voice.
The clever humour begins with the dialogue between the two men.
"What's a Jew doing here?"
"What's a linguist doing in a hole?"
I loved the image of Moront's silhouette picking its nose.
Reader appears at the end of this chapter - what a very ordinary name
for the Grim Reaper - like that the initials are kept the same.
There is the mystery of what is in the bag Rihat was trying to bury and why it's making a humming sound.
We meet God. He is not the omnipotent being I expected him to be - rather a tired, old man with problems.
Plenty of wacky humour in this chapter with the problem of the coffee machine and God banging his head on his desk in despair.
To me, some of your scenes, read like a Monty Python sketch because the imagery is so clear.
"What do you see, bird brain?" An insult from God - this made me smile.
take on a serious note when the Overlords appear to God asking him
where the Manna-X Machine is and Graham Reader is deployed to find out.
A few typos in this chapter - please ignore is you aren't interested in that kind of edit.
'Five oh five ( Five o' five, I think)
"We'd like to check on it's (its) secureness ...'
"You're about 3000 (3,000) years late ... '
This is a very engaging read - quirky, bizarre, amusing and above all, original.
think what I found most intriguing was that you have taken characters
from biblical/historical settings and thrown them into a world of pure
fantasy. The humour that runs through your writing is pitched just
right - it would be easy to 'overdo' it but you rein it in enough for
this not to be a purely comedic piece.
Top stars and hoping the book does as well as it deserves.