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Thursday, April 24, 2014

TIW Final only 2 weeks away...

The TIW Annual Final is getting close, only 2 more weeks and I'll have to write a great little 500 word sotry (exactly 500 words)...maybe I'll...yes, I'll make it a little more challenging...:-) The 2 Pretenders will run away with the votes and one of them will win, but I hope to have the best or at least one of the best stories.
To keep in practise, here's my take on Challenge 62, a little conversation...

Challenge 62 - "Draughts on a Sunday afternoon with ol' Captain Joe Blue Eyes"

(bunsen burner, ski lodge, cactus, bikini)

"The first time our eyes met was over a bunsen burner in the 12th grade Chemistry class. Well, 'meet' would be difficult. For all her homely blossoming beauty and her simple country charms, her left eye always went a little awry, and even more so when she ate or drank a hot drink. But when I saw her in that bikini in the summer down at the lake with her family, my heart…my heart was lost."
"Is this gonna be a long story? I'm only in 'ere for another twenty five years, if I can get out on good behaviour."
"Are you done?"
"Yeah. Sorry. Go on."
"It took me a while to convince her that I was the knight in shining armour she'd been looking for, but after kidnapping her best friends over the next weekend and torturing them to tell me her favourite hobbies and pastimes, and then of course leaving their bodies to rot in some desolate hut in the middle of the forest, I was ready to win her over. Fifty seven different types of cacti later, including a rare lava cactus I'd purchased on ebay for an extortionate price and she was mine. That was the one that clinched it. Plus the promise of a skiing holiday at the Engelberg Ski Lodge in the Alps next year. A very popular and exclusive place indeed. She was all over me. Loves skiing. I hate it, though I guess I'd better get some lessons."
"Skiing's great."
"Did I ask you?"
"No. Sorry."
"Can I continue?"
"Yeah, sure, sorry."
"Right. Where was I?"
"Skiing lessons?"
"Ah, yes, well, I only reached first base by the second week but when the local news got hold of the story about the disappearance of her friends, I was there to comfort her and pick up the spoils…"
"Hey, hey! Now you're talking!"
"Oi! This isn't some erotic daydream, you smuck!"
"I'm not Jewish."
"Never said you were. Anyway…"
"I'm Roman Catholic."
"Figures. The thing was…the thing was…"
"What was the thing?"
"Shut up! I'm getting to it!"
"Right. Sorry."
"The thing was, I'd left a jumper in the hut in the forest. You know, it gets a bit hot when you're torturing and all…"
"Yeah, don’t it just."
"…and I'd taken this jumper off and left it on the floor next to the door. I didn't remember it at first but when the authorities started searching and clips of the forest appeared on television, it all came back to me."
"The jumper."
"Yes, the jumper. Man, did I sweat."
"So what?"
"The jumper?"
"Ah, it was one of those Canadian lumberjack type pullovers, all red and black squares, nice and warm, good for the cold seasons. It was a wonderful jumper, I really missed it."
"Nah, did they find the jumper?"
"What do you think I'm doing in here? Popped in for a bit of draughts on a Sunday afternoon with ol' Captain Joe Blues Eyes in Block G?"


  1. hhahahaa funny. i take it jumper is an item of clothing made of wool or cashmere that we americans would call a sweater?

    1. Yep, that's the one! Thanks for coming along and reading!