Thursday, May 29, 2014

Genre Mash Up Part 2 (complete)

Well, Miranda at TIW tried another week of Genre Mash Up, 150 words a day, 3 elements (crocheted scarf, marshmallows, baby bottle warmer) and different genre. Again, I wrote it up (anyone having deja vu? Yes, this is the same post but updated)'s not even on the forum, just on TIW facebook group site. I'm the only one who did it...last time DL had a go at a few of the genre. Only me...
Here is the whole story :-) I think it went well :-) What do you think?

Genre Mash Up 2 - Part 1 26-05-2014 - Satire

"Where can I plug this in, then?" Todd held the baby bottle warmer in both hands.
"Look, we're in the woods, we're camping." The fire grew stronger with every prod of my stick.
"What? Do you mean that there's nowhere to plug this in?" He searched around the small clearing, looking for a socket.
"You're just gonna have to survive without it for a few days." I relaxed back in my three-legged fold-away camp stool, almost falling off. "Come, the baby's sleeping now. Have some toasted marshmallows with me."
Todd sat down on the log beside the fire.
"What are we gonna do?" He took out his tablet and stabbed at the screen. "There's no Wifi here!"
"Relax. There's lots of things to do. I'm going to start on that crocheted scarf I've always wanted to make."
He continued poking and flicking through screens.
"Is there an App for that?"

Genre Mash Up 2 Part 2 27-05-2014 - Horror

The flame of the fire flickered and a cool breeze blew through the clearing.
"Is it me or did the temperature just drop?" I put my toasted marshmallow down and headed for a blanket somewhere in the tent.
"There's no App for making a crocheted scarf." Todd huddled over his tablet. There was something strange about him tonight, more than usual. I rummaged through the tent and finally found a blanket. It had grown quiet outside since entering.
"Todd?" With the blanket around me, I poked my head out. He no longer sat by the fire, only the baby bottle warmer and my marshmallows were there. "Todd?"
Tenaciously, I returned to my stool and watched the flames dancing in the weakening light. A sudden sound to the right caught my attention.
"Todd? Is that you? Todd?" A hand touched my left shoulder, I jumped up, losing the blanket.

Genre Mash Up 2 Part 3 28-05-2014 - Dr Suess

                       "Wanna play a game?"
said Todd, throwing the baby bottle warmer from one hand to the other.
"It's not the same as any other game.
                                                                You can even call your mother."
"What's the game, Todd?"
He grabbed some marshmallows and stuffed them up his nose.
He popped them out,
                                   fell about,
                                                      and put them 'tween his toes.
"What kind of game, Todd?
                             Won't you ever tell? Oh!
Does it include a crocheted scarf?
                                  Or maybe some jello?"
"There is no scarf, not even half,
And as for jello…
                                maybe a marshmallow.
He placed some inside the warmer and dropped it in the fire.
He laughed and danced and jumped around,
                                      and watched the flames grow higher.
"Todd, are you okay?
                                                  You seem a little weird.
You 'll wake the baby with your noise!
                                      All this is worse than I'd feared."
"Let's play another game that's not the same," he jeered.

Genre Mash Up 2 Part 4 29-05-2014 - Sonnet
(104 words....can't do 150 words in this genre..)

When the marshmallows are toasted ready,
And the stars still shine in the cool wind night,
With our sweet muppet cuddlin' his teddy,
Under a dreamlike moon all silver and white,
And the baby bottle warmer we leave
By the fire, forgotten and unused,
And the crocheted scarf you never did weave,
With this little dumb sonnet I have mused,
I sing of your wond'rous beautiful hair,
And vixen smiles which take a good man's heart.
No one can resist as they stop and stare,
'Cause you're basically a common tart.
And nothing tonight can change what will be,
So shut up and start being nice to me.

Genre Mash Up 2 Part 5 30-05-2014 - Sci-fi

"Yeah, sorry, Todd. I know, I have been a bit of a bitch recent..."
Flashing lights and an ominous whirring sound from above filled the clearing. Instinctively, I ran for the tent where our baby slept. Before I got there, a small uniformed alien appeared.
"Stop, human!"
Still holding some toasted marshmallows on sticks, I flung them and they stuck to its helmet.
"Ah! I am under attack!"
"Watch out for any crocheted scarves they may have," spoke its communicator.
"I don't have one of them, but I have...a HOOK!"
The alien cowered as I held out the tool.
"You're bluffing! You would never use it!"
"But I will use this!" shouted Todd, coming up behind. "This Universal Quantum Spectral Explosive will blow us all to kingdom come!" Todd menacingly held up the baby bottle warmer.
"You humans are crazy! Commander! Take me up!" And with that they were gone.

Genre Mash Up 2 Part 6 31-05-2014 - Action / adventure

With the UFO gone, and the baby still sleeping peacefully, the realisation that something else pressed upon our minds came to being. 200 yards away was the only outside toilet for miles, cleverly disguised as a cesspit surrounded by wooden planks.
Todd was the first to move, sprinting past the fire, making the baby bottle warmer topple. He moved into the woods towards the man-made shithole. Dropping any thoughts of weaving a crocheted scarf, I saundered over to the fallen bottle warmer and picked it up. It had been a long time since I'd used my shotputt skills as college champion two years in a row, but I aimed and threw it well, slinging it in Todd's direction. I heard a thud, quickly followed by breaking branches and twigs.
Bingo. Scoffing what marshmallows were left, I victoriously used the wooden contraption while Todd shat in the bushes with the bears.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Is there anybody out there?

I got this comment on my blog (in Arabic) from Yuyu Ali...I think it's the greatest!

Best transport companies and furniture store
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The best pest control companies in Riyadh
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Company cleaning tanks in Riyadh
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The fight against bedbugs
Pest Control companies Riyadh
Cleaning Company Apartments in Medina
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Home Services Company
Home Services Company
Removals inhibited for sale in Riyadh
Carpet Cleaning Company news
Used Furniture site

It confirms my suspicions on a lot of website traffic. I've been analysing TIW web statistics, even looking at my own and saw some similarities. Are there any real people out there? Maybe for websites with money behind them like, but for little blogs such as mine? I know there are a few of you out there, but there are many more BOTs. I will, however, continue to write...:-)

Today's post...calm before the storm

Mmm, what to say, what to say...
Getting some numbers and stats together and things look very strange...but may just be me.
Getting ready for Challenge 66 (Grudge 6) - it's going to be a strange one, too. All 4 writers have said they are having some trouble with it, not in terms of writing but in terms of p.c. for want of a better term. We'll have to wait and see.
Got myself in another Grudge but that's in August, so I can concentrate on 'Torn' and wait for something to happen with "How to" news...
So...not much happening...the calm before the storm?

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Published! "How to build a castle in 7 easy steps"

Yep, that's the news. I'm finally published...okay, with a small publishing company in the USA, but HEY! I get a small royalty advance (small) and 5 free copies of the book :-) And I can look forward to them backing me up! I'm not alone anymore....:-)
The book?
Oh, it's "How to build a castle in 7 easy steps". It's about...well, everyone who has read it all say it's awesome! That's not many people because I haven't asked too many to read it, but I've got 100% good feedback! I even got a comment on, a 'dead' site for me...
Richard Gradner....
"Love your pitch. quite original, funny : )
I can see a Terry Pratchet style of story here. very well written and highly entertaining. I love fantasy but have historically read the more serious Lord of the Rings stuff, so great to read something lighter and more enjoyable. Well done!"
When can you see it?
Well, they're running a bit late with their books, so who knows :-) But it'll happen!

Friday, May 23, 2014

TIW Final - Day 7 - the end...or is it? PLUS NEWS

Well, yes, the last day and everything went haywire. My internet didn't work for hours and I had no one left to ask, anyway. So, for the last 1 and 1/2 days I watched Don and Steve adding the votes. And WOW did they add them...strange, there were almost no public announcements from them...perhaps they have so many loyal friends who can vote 50 times in 30 minutes....Yeah, right!
It is nigh on impossible to find out whether someone is using an IP generator or has paid for votes from an online company. I can vouch for almost all of my votes, put names of REAL people to them. But I was allowed access to some information, and something wasn't right with the voting in the Final. There's trouble afoot in the state of Denmark. Another week and I'll know whether it was 'spammers' or 'IP generator', maybe the Final hasn't finished yet :-) (hehehe)
At the moment, the official announcement is that Don is the 2014 Annual Champion...
Here are the final votes :-(

NEWS! Just signed a publishing contract with 'Line By Lion Publications' for 'How to' :-)

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

TIW Final - Day 6

I was overtaken overnight by Steve...I was killed in my sleep...I tried my best to get votes but none were coming...he was able to get many many more than myself. I ws also able to see the website's stats and the countries from where the hits came looks very dodgy, someone is not playing with a straight bat. I'm depressed, angry, sad...whatever. It's definitely "Who you know, not what you know." The final should have the 4 greatest stories to ever be written for TIW in the whole year, and clearly they are not. I tried to write something special, and many people have already said I did. But I cannot get anymore votes without 'pestering'. Looks like this is the end...(even thought some people are helping, but no matter how many votes I get, the leader adds a few more votes from suspicious IPS countries)...(yes, that's what I am saying...)

Here are the votes up to this point...(21 May 2014 10.30pm...less than 26 hours to go...) mention "The Lib Lit Daily"

Yes, got a mention in again (3rd time), this time "The Lib Lit Daily" by Randolph Brzoska (@RSBrzoska) But it didn't really help, now 17 votes down .-(

Here's the screenshot...

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

TIW Final - Day 5

Well, a surprise in the morning, Don got 55 votes in 30 minutes from 11.45pm to 00.15am my time.
He's doing it again. He did it to me in the Autumn Final, getting blocks of 55 votes from 'somewhere' in a very quick time. This time his votes started at 47 (unfortunately I don't have a screenshot of any of this, I mean, how can you plan to 'watch' something like that) and finished on 30 minutes.
There was also a flurry of votes at around 6pm today, both Steve and Don gaining ground on me :-(
Now I'm only 9 ahead...
Today I tried to get more votes but for me the place is 'dry' are the votes after Day 5...(20.00 20th May 2014)

Monday, May 19, 2014

TIW Final - Day 4

Put the video up...23 views...not many...and very few votes today. At this rate, Steven will catch up with me.
Send as many people as you can here...please! Vote for Dani J Caile!
Other news - the anthology 'Circuits & Steam' sold out at the Steampunk Fair - coooool.
And soon I will hear whether my new book is accepted by the publisher...
Still working on 'Torn'....but the Final is taking up all my 'extra' time....what extra time???
Here are the votes after Day 4...

Sunday, May 18, 2014

TIW Final - Day 3 (+ video)

This past day has been hell....pestering people to vote for me is not my way at all. I feel cheap and nasty, but I must do this! The Iron Writer is about stretching yourself as a writer, and..well...
...AND I've just heard that Don will now enter the race...crap...

Got an e-mail from a guy today, Jim Wright, he said this about my story...
I'm just back from the Iron Writer forum. Didn't even know it was there. I loved your story. I laughed and laughed! Thank you!

If you STILL haven't voted, please go here...4 days to go!

Working on the video...Here it is!

Here are the votes after Day 3...