http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-139/
...or here...:-)
WQ139 – image of dried up river, relegation, insight
The team got off the bus and stared at their new training ground, a dried up riverbed.
"Looks like this place has had a bit of a dry spell," muttered Jenkins, the forward.
"Just like you last season. That's why we went down," replied Bobbings, the goalkeeper. They stood face to face, growling.
"Hey, now Bobbings," said Coach Furroughs. "The team was heading for relegation long before Jenkins did his 'magic', or not, as the case may be." The others laughed.
"Why are we here?" spat Richards, left back.
"What are you doing, Richards?" asked Coach.
"Putting some moisture back into the place. Why are we here? Where's the stadium?" asked Richards.
"No one had the insight to bung a few quid to the local council last season. We lost the lease of the stadium to the Girl Guides under-11 team."
"We should play them for it!" yelled Jenkins.
"We'd lose," said Bobbings. "Hey, has anyone seen my gloves? Anybody?"
"Sorry, all equipment was sold by the owner to pay for this place," replied Coach.
"But... this place is dead! There isn't even a single goalpost!" shouted Jenkins, who shared that honour with a cactus for the next two hours.
AND...Here's a parody of "Event Horizon" :-)
Challenge 115
Elements: Theme Song to Paladin, A Demonically possessed jar of Nutella, The Active Act of Mutiny, An Event Horizon
Elements: Theme Song to Paladin, A Demonically possessed jar of Nutella, The Active Act of Mutiny, An Event Horizon
"This is an act of Mutiny, Paladin! I will make
sure you are court-martialed for this!" screamed the demonically possessed
jar of Nutella over the comm, a jar of Nutella which had taken control of the
entire ship on the event horizon of the black hole. I crept on, searching the
decks for the murderer of my crewmates, the monster that had destroyed all hope
for mankind. The "Fishburnt" was on a mission, a mission to find the
secrets locked within this black hole, a black hole that threatened our race,
our species, our lives. Somehow, the strange energy surrounding this part of
space had brought Doctor Weird's personal supply of Nutella to life. My only
chance, humanity's only chance, was to find this evil jar of hazelnut and cocoa
spread and put a stop to its dastardly plans of sending the ship straight into
the black hole.
"I can sense you, Paladin! Muhahaha!"
With spoon in hand, like a ninja in the night, I moved
from pillar to pillar, searching, smelling, making not a sound. The comm
started up, an old western-style tune blasted out across the ship.
"Paladin, Paladin. Where do you roam? Paladin, Paladin.
Far, far from home..."
"We can work together, Paladin. You can be my
right-hand man," sneered the jar of Nutella. The song continued.
"Have Gun Will Travel reads the card of a
man..." The song played on under the evil jar's words.
"Paladin, do you realise what this means? What
wonders we will find on the other side?"It was babbling in its own
ingredients. "We can be kings, Paladin! Kings of the universe!
Muhahaha!"
I entered Doctor Weird's quarters and ripped the
needle off his antique record player, the song stopping with a scratch.
"You... you found me!" The jar's voice was
shaky, afraid.
"Where else would you be, Nutella? No one else on
the ship eats the crap," I said, spinning the spoon in my hand. What I was
about to do would make me sick, so sick I would puke for hours, but it had to
be done.
"Now, Paladin, we can talk about this..." If
I wasn't mistaken, the jar was vibrating with fear. I took the chair from the
table, sat down and pulled myself towards the table where the jar stood. I
banged my spoon on the table, putting it down next to the jar.
"Your senseless murdering stops here," I
said and grabbed the jar in both hands, twisting off its lid.
"No! Don't do it, Paladin! You'll... you'll
regret it!"
I punched the end of my spoon into the paper seal and
ripped it off, and with one powerful stroke, I scooped up a dollop of Nutella
and ate it. I choked on it and my head hit the table, my mind spinning.
"Ha-ha! You fool! When you all got your monthly
jabs the other day, I included the genomes which create nut allergy! Goodbye
Paladin! Goodbye!"
I grasped for breath which was not forthcoming...
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