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Saturday, August 27, 2016

WQ194 + Manna-X FREE

"Manna-X" is still FREE and I still need REVIEWS...20 gets me on a list, 50 gets me featured!
https://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile-ebook/dp/B00D94CWF0

But wait! What's that? Iron Writer Weekend Quicke 194?
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-194/
Here it is!



WQ194 – A salesman, image above, a seemingly useless item, a practical application

The salesman thought he'd made a killing on the Northern Matabele tribe way out on the African plains, selling them that 5 man rowing boat, complete with oars. Sure, he'd given it with a huge discount and promised 3 years free waxing service and a 10 year guarantee (which of course was bogus), but it was better than lugging the useless thing across the dry, hot country. What made him laugh was that they were unaware that there was no 5 man rowing event in the Olympics and that their idea of being the first aboriginal African tribe to get a medal in the next Games was a pipe dream. And besides, where the hell were they going to train? He smiled all the way back to Cape Town. 
For a while, the tribe was all ready to break the World Record and show those white folks how to really row, until it dawned on them that water was needed for this sport, a lot of it, and in a very long line. Finally, Nbutu, the brains of the tribe came up with a practical application for the oars - after some cutting, reshaping and sharpening, they made pretty good spears.

Friday, August 26, 2016

FREE Manna-X + news

Yes, 'Manna-X' is yet again free for the weekend!
https://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile-ebook/dp/B00D94CWF0
Please, please, please, please, please REVIEW it on Amazon.com.
I have 16 reviews.
If I get 20 reviews, only 4 more, then I get onto an AMAZON LIST and I'll be seen by more readers.
If I get 50 reviews, then AMAZON WILL PAY ATTENTION TO ME and start FEATURING ME!
So, please! Reviews!

News...
I won the Iron Writer Poem #12...I don't do poems, but I do Shakespearean Sonnets...I will also bring out the 5 Shakespearean plays I have murdered for my Drama class very soon...


And I jointly won Iron Writer Challenge 170, putting me again into an Open Preliminary in a few weeks time...


So, if I keep my face to the screen, who knows what will happen?



Saturday, August 20, 2016

Brexit + WQ193

Thinking about how the UK Prime Minister is SO pushing leaving the EU, all based on a referendum, WITHOUT a vote in Parliament. Strange.
Looked at some figures...
51.89% voted to leave the EU, 48.11% to stay.
From this website, I picked out the exact figures and made some percentages
(http://www.idea.int/vt/countryview.cfm?CountryCode=GB)
The complete 64,088,222 UK population...

So, does the UK REALLY want to leave the EU? Looking at that, no.

Oh, it's the Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 193!
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-193/
Must have a go...

WQ193 - image above, estranged, a beach scene snow globe, the tipping point

"Why oh why did he have to leave?" Emma cried in the rain, her back to Thelma.
"He didn't leave," she replied.
"Was it the toilet paper holder hat or the beach scene snow globe?" whined Emma. "What was it that made him leave?"
"It was the snow globe, Emma. That was definitely the tipping point of your relationship. And he didn't leave... okay, in a sense, yes."
"Oh why oh why!" cried Emma.
"Stop it, already. Can we get a move on? I'm getting saturated," said Thelma.
"I feel so alienated, so estranged!" screamed Emma."Why me? Why me?"
"You did it to yourself, Emma. It's pouring down, we're going to catch a cold if we stay out here too long."
"Oh, Thelma, what shall I do, what shall I do?" she cried.
"You can give me a hand for a start," grunted Thelma.
"But Thelma, he was my whole world, my love, my life!" she cried.
"Look, Emma, you're the one who smashed him over the head with the snow globe. Now get your arse over here and pick up the shovels. I don't want the State troopers to find us out in the woods burying your dead boyfriend."

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Rihanna Sziget 2016 + WQ192

I wasn't there, but I read about it...
"Half an hour of waiting, a dozen dancers, two ass shaking and zero atmosphere"
http://www.origo.hu/kultura/fesztival/20160812-rihanna-koncert-beszamolo-sziget-fesztival-2016-nulladik-nap.html
This link is in Hungarian because Sziget, Europe's largest annual music festival, is on Hajogyari Sziget in Budapest.
Yes, Rihanna headlined for 1 million dollars, made the 80,000+ audience that paid 70 dollars to see her wait half an hour, played 70 minutes of a 1 & 1/2 hour concert, wore only one outfit, sang a little but it could be seen that some was playback, wiggled her ass twice, had a break on stage where nothing happened, half the audience left 30 minutes in, and she finished to short, polite applause, walking off in silence.
Lovely. So nice to see people respecting Hungarians. Rihanna should give them all their money back. Of course, she'd be 4.6million out of pocket, but hey.
Oh yes, it's the Iron Writer Weekend Quickie 192! I haven't had time! Until now!
 


WQ192 - image above, Dead man walking, “Balls to the wall”, A painful but nostalgic memory

"Well, ah gotta get those 'balls to the wall'," said Uncle Ted, standing up to take his place in the queue for Charlie's barbecue.
"Eh, up, Dead man walking," cackled Auntie Maggs, as the other cronies joined in.
Uncle Ted passed the fallen Plaster of Paris Greek statue which separated the lawn from Charlie's uneven terrace where his cherished grill stood, the one now burning hamburgers and sausages. "Ah, this reminds me of the time I bought a kebab from Paki Joe's Deli on a Wednesday, before the weekly delivery. Me arse was screaming for months," moaned Uncle Ted. "Ah, but those were the days," he smiled. "I came to love that cushion." It showed on his walk.
"Come on, Uncle Ted," I said. "It can't be that bad. See? Old Uncle Bob has eaten three sausages already and he's okay."
"Ah, but he's got a secret weapon, me lad. They took 'is lower intestines out four years ago! Those sausages 'ave got less t'travel! And 'e's got his own colostomy bag!" Uncle Ted was right, there was a forced smile on Uncle Bob's face. "But don't worry, me lad, the homemade Bloody Mary Chutney will knock me out first."

And you can see other Iron Writers' takes here!
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-192/

Saturday, August 6, 2016

WQ191

Yes, it's time for the next Weekend Quickie!
http://theironwriter.com/the-iron-writer-challenge-weekend-quickie-191




 191 - image above, disparity, dramatic irony, dogmatism

"I can see one!" said Doug through his telescope as the sun was going down under the horizon. "He's got a hat on, one of those bobble hats!"
"Are yer sure?" asked Ted. "All I see is a guy with a brimmed hat, looking through a telescope like yers," he said, looking through his binoculars the wrong way round.
"Really? I'm sure it's a bobble hat... anyway, we gotta kill any immigrant we see trying to cross the border, they're taking jobs away from born and bred Americans!" said Doug, scratching his head and raising his brimmed hat a little.
"Damn right, Doug! Those pesky im'grants are taking away our jobs an' killing the economy! So we gotta fight back!" Ted lifted his rifle and looked into his sight. "Darn it! He's gone!"
"No, he ain't! I can see him! Shoot, Ted, shoot!" screamed Doug.
"Alright, alright, I'll use me binoculars again... there he is! Brimmed hat an' all. Now, if I can just raise me rifle with one hand..." Ted's rifle lined up with the back of Doug's head. "I think I'm ready."
"Shoot, Ted, shoot!"
The shot rang out across the valley and Doug fell to the ground.


More news? You'd like more news? There's a little...
Editing 'How 2' and working on a little zombie story for an anthology.
Yep. Still alive, still breathing... 

Monday, August 1, 2016

New Book Idea + copies of "All For Love"!

Today I received 3 paperback copies of "All For Love" from one of my publishers, Firefly & Wisp!
https://www.facebook.com/fireflyandwisp
Thank you, Danielle Zwissler! @danielleleezwis

STILL working on the last edit of How 2...but...I've also got a new idea for the next 100 pager or so.... 


Coming soon...