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Sunday, July 27, 2014
TIW C73 - "The Sun Rises In"
It took a while to get an idea for this TIW challenge..until I put a few 'facts' together which moved me in the direction of John Donne's "The Sun Rising"
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/guide/177309
I decided to create a story from this...so here it is :-)
The Sun Rises In
73 - (Summer Open Final)
(elements - lost key, travel brochure, thermostat, dessert topping)
"Hell, that damn sun! Doesn't it know how to knock?" John got out of bed crossing the trespassing rays and ran over to the thermostat in the hotel room, tapping it to see if the dial moved.
"John, stop it. You know it's stuck on 30 degrees Celcius." Both woke up in a sweat, dying for a drink. "And it was you who left the curtains open last night."
"We needed the air." He gave up on the thermostat and jumped back into bed with Anne, his latest love, giving her a smile and a cuddle.
"You can always close your eyes, pretend it's not there."
"What? Then I wouldn't be able to see you, my dear!" She fought him off with a pillow. "But why can't it let up for a bit? Go and burn down on someone else! Say Sri-Lanka, they won't notice."
"You were the one who chose this place. Remember all those travel brochures I got for ya? You could've chosen anywhere but you didn't. You could've chosen somewhere cool, like Greenland or something like that, but no. You're a cheapskate!"
"Yeah, but you wouldn't have liked it, Greenland. It's...green."
"No, I wouldn't. Can you get me a drink, darling?"
"Sure." John got up again and tried the handle of the bathroom, the only place in the room with a tap. "Damn! Oh yeah. You and your 'lost key' story."
"Well, I did lose it. Do you think the hotel will charge for that?" she said, grinning.
"Yes, considering this establishment."
"Try the fridge."
"Broken. And empty."
"Oh, John. Did we drink it dry?" She opened her arms and he came back to the bed.
"Remember last night? The restaurant?"
"Oh yes, it was lovely, thanks for that."
"You're welcome, my dear. It was fantastic, in fact, more than fantastic, it was exquisite. But the bill…that wasn't so 'exquisite'."
"You skinflint, you! Don't I deserve a little pampering?"
"Yes, no, err, don't get me wrong, dear, I'd pay a fortune to see you happy…"
"Better. Oh, and that homemade Dulce de Leche on our strawberry ice cream sundaes? That was the greatest dessert topping I've ever eaten."
"And probably the most expensive…"
"But it was the most delicious! How can you put a price on something like that?"
"Yes, you are right, my love. For you I'd pay the price, you are the world to me." He drew her close to him once more, their sweat merging in the heat. "The world."
"If I'm the world to you, then…your world is in this bed."
"Yes. And your point, my dear?"
"My point is, if that is right, then this 'damn sun' shines on your world." Anne stood up on the bed and let the rays hit her voluptuousness.
"Err, yeah, you're right! But it's so damn hot in here…"
"Then complain! Get that thermostat fixed!" She dropped back down on the bed, almost making John fall to the floor. "Call the management!"
"I am the management!"
Friday, July 25, 2014
TIW C75 take - "The whole world's a stage!"
I don't know why, but TIW Challenge 75 (Grudge 7) elements popped out an easy and cool story.
Here's my take of it :-) Dani's Shorts 3 is coming soon, well, as soon as I can figure out what to do with C73 and C74, that is....(plus C76,C77 and C78 when they come out)
"The whole world's a stage!"
Challenge 75 (Grudge 7)
(4 elements: a halberdier, one (and only one) of the characters must be aware of the audience, must be written entirely as dialogue, the story must take place at the Dairy Queen.)
Here's my take of it :-) Dani's Shorts 3 is coming soon, well, as soon as I can figure out what to do with C73 and C74, that is....(plus C76,C77 and C78 when they come out)
"The whole world's a stage!"
Challenge 75 (Grudge 7)
(4 elements: a halberdier, one (and only one) of the characters must be aware of the audience, must be written entirely as dialogue, the story must take place at the Dairy Queen.)
"Hello and
welcome to Dairy Queen! How can I help you? Said the suave, charismatic shop
assistant."
"Erm...am I
in the right place? I wanted Dairy Queen."
"Yes, sir!
Today it's 'Medieval Day' and each member of staff is dressed appropriately.
I'm a halberdier. Look folks, I sharpened the end of my halberd for added
authenticity. Spiked Josh a good 'un earlier, eh?"
"Oh good, I
thought I was in that Camelot restuarant for a moment. Didn't know they did
Blizzards, too. Threw me off a bit."
"No, sir,
only Dairy Queen does Blizzards, in over twenty different soft serve
blends!"
"Why...why
are you talking and looking over your shoulder like there's an audience behind
you? All I see is the wall."
"Ah-ha! The
whole world's a stage! Isn't that right, folks?"
"There, you
did it again. Is there a camera or something? Am I on Candid Camera again? I
remember last time..."
"The whole
world's a TV show, sir! Like my costume, folks? Got it from the best fancy
dress shop in town."
"Yes...nice
outfit. Now, can I order? Or are you going to talk to that brick wall behind
you all day? And knight. Ha!"
"Please,
sir, no knight jokes. Poor Ted is still trying to get over his last customer. I
think it was the 'tinned food' joke. But then, it would be, wouldn't it, folks?"
"Oh dear.
I'll have two Flamethrower Chicken Wraps, please, one Side Salad, and two
Double Fudge Cookie Dough Blizzard Treats."
"Any drink
with that, sir? You know, we always have to ask that, folks, the amount of
times people eat our Flamethrowers and come rushing back to order a
drink..."
"Stop
talking to the wall. Yes, okay, you have a point. Erm, no, not drinks. I'll
have two Peanut Butter Sundaes, please."
"We're doing
a special on Chillers at the moment. Wouldn't you like to change your order and
try a couple of Strawberry Lemonade DQ Chillers?"
"No, no,
thanks, and watch out for that spear of yours, you almost took my eye out with
that."
"Spear?
Spear! This is a halberd, sir! It has an axe, a spike and a thorn at the back
of the axe. It is said that one of these sliced through the back of King
Richard III's skull at the battle of Bosworth! And that a Swiss peasant used
one of these to kill Charles the Bold, the Duke of Burgundy, ending the
Burgundian Wars in a single stroke! This, sir, is not a spear! Was that a bit
too strong, folks? I thought I did quite well."
"Really?
Well, thanks for the history lesson, and your suit is very nice, indeed, but
all I want is my food. Can you deal with that instead of waving your six foot
weapon around and talking to the wall? Oh, forget it, I'll go over to that
all-night diner...hey, all 'knight' diner, ha! Put that on your halbred and
smoke it. Have a nice day!"
"Why
you...!"
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Back in Paper.li :-)
Got another mention on another Paper.li newspaper, Erania Pinnera's paper to be precise. It's nice to be noticed, if only for a moment...
Find it here under 'Arts & Entertainment'...
http://paper.li/EraniaPinnera/1334841073
...OK, here's screenshot...
AND...through an error of mine, I got a few KDP borrows today, the first time EVER...I might see a few pennies come my way...a few, just a few.
The new book is coming along fine :-)
PLus Dani's Shorts 3 is around the corner....
Find it here under 'Arts & Entertainment'...
http://paper.li/EraniaPinnera/1334841073
...OK, here's screenshot...
AND...through an error of mine, I got a few KDP borrows today, the first time EVER...I might see a few pennies come my way...a few, just a few.
The new book is coming along fine :-)
PLus Dani's Shorts 3 is around the corner....
Monday, July 21, 2014
Dani's Shorts 2 5 star review :-)
Been away from the internet for a few days....camping.
Definition: Camping: for those who wish to feel tired AFTER sleeping.
Working on my new book...and trying to keep up with THE Iron Writer...and talking of TIW...
...got a 5 star review, on both Amazon.com AND Amazon.co.uk from Hunter S. Jones!!! (I love her, really, she's fantastic, always there when I need some help) Meet her here...
https://www.facebook.com/HunterSJonesPR
Definition: Camping: for those who wish to feel tired AFTER sleeping.
Working on my new book...and trying to keep up with THE Iron Writer...and talking of TIW...
...got a 5 star review, on both Amazon.com AND Amazon.co.uk from Hunter S. Jones!!! (I love her, really, she's fantastic, always there when I need some help) Meet her here...
https://www.facebook.com/HunterSJonesPR
5.0 out of 5 stars 'Miley Cyrus?' July 20, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Dani's Shorts 2 is just fantastic. I love the way he can tell stories
in such short yet meaningful stories. The charm and intelligence of the
author shines through in every story. But...Autumn Equinox Final- Miley
Cyrus? Only a genius would conjure up this. Loved this book. All of it.
Get DS2 (and DS1) for FREE on Smashwords here...
https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/2766
Get DS2 (and DS1) for FREE on Smashwords here...
https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/2766
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Lost & Found : Dani J Caile, the man, the legend...
Yeah! I got on the radio...well, okay a podcast broadcast...but HEY!
Thanks to host DL Zwissler (soon to be VERY famous indeed) :-)
So, if you wanna hear me speak about nothing so much in particular, or just hear my crummy voice (I'm a writer not a radio guy), then here's the link!
http://www.spreaker.com/user/thefantasyrealm/dani-j-caile-the-man-the-legend
..I wish I'd had some prep time...
Enjoy!
I'll be off for a few days, so have fun!
Thanks to host DL Zwissler (soon to be VERY famous indeed) :-)
So, if you wanna hear me speak about nothing so much in particular, or just hear my crummy voice (I'm a writer not a radio guy), then here's the link!
http://www.spreaker.com/user/thefantasyrealm/dani-j-caile-the-man-the-legend
..I wish I'd had some prep time...
Enjoy!
I'll be off for a few days, so have fun!
Sunday, July 13, 2014
The Iron Writer Party Line collaboration +
Hey! Today I got a mention in 'The Irena Kralj Weekly'...my freebies on Smashwords...look down in 'Arts & Entertainment' and I'm the 2nd one mentioned :-) Thanks Irena! @irenakralj
http://paper.li/irenakralj/1309707304
And something else...Mathew and I did another collaboration in the TIW Group, and a few others joined in, namely Tony Jaeger and Jordan Bell (ding-a-ling!)
Here it is! (It's rather long...)
"The Iron Writer Party Line"
http://paper.li/irenakralj/1309707304
And something else...Mathew and I did another collaboration in the TIW Group, and a few others joined in, namely Tony Jaeger and Jordan Bell (ding-a-ling!)
Here it is! (It's rather long...)
"The Iron Writer Party Line"
Dani
"Hello, this is the Iron Writer Party Line. Press 1 if
you'd like to Kill Brian, Press 2 if you'd like to praise Mamie's big hair,
Press 3 if you'd like to kick Jordan's ass in a challenge, Press 4....etc
"
Jordan Bell
Press 4 to talk to the Gecko.
Mathew W. Weaver
...press 5 to begin
guessing who The Weaver is, press 6...
Dani
Press 6 for Tony 'No Show' (silence)...
Mathew W. Weaver
.... You have pressed 4. Do you confirm?
Press 1 to confirm. 2 to go back. 3 to proceed
Dani
You have pressed 4.
Do you confirm? Press 1 to confirm. 2 to go back. 3 to proceed...
Mathew W. Weaver
You have pressed one. Connecting.Please hold
Dani
"I AM holding! I've been doing this for the last 20
minutes...!"
Mathew W. Weaver
We are sorry. Please hold while we connect you to the Gecko
Dani
"The what? Hello? Hello!..."
Mathew W. Weaver
Please hold. The Gecko will be on momentarily
Dani
"The Gecko? What? What the hell? Where's the Iron
Writer Party Line? Hello?"
Mathew W. Weaver
... would you like to press 5 and begin guessing who The
Weaver is? Press 1 to acknowledge, 3 to go back
Dani
"No, no, no! Who give's a flying f.... don't they have
any humans on this!
Mathew W. Weaver
... you have dialled 7.
Please hold
Dani
"Seven? Seven? When the hell did I press seven?"
Mathew W. Weaver
"Hey there! How can I take yer order?"
Dani
"Sorry...hey! You're human! You! I've been running
through your bloody phone system for almost half an hour now and....eh? What
order?"
Mathew W. Weaver
"This here's Sam's Steak and Grilled Pizza! Don't knock
it till you've tried it!"
"What kin ah get ya?"
Dani
"What? Sam's what? Pizza? What the...?"
Mathew W. Weaver
Redirecting.
Would you like to press 5 and begin guessing who The Weaver
is? Press 1 to acknowledge, 3 to go back
Press 1 if you'd like to Kill Brian
Press 2 if you'd like to praise Mamie's big hair
Press 3 if you'd like to kick Jordan's ass in a challenge
Press 4 to talk to the Gecko
Dani
"What? Hell, I'm gonna press 8...! See how ya like
that!"
Mathew W. Weaver
You have pressed 8. Press 1 to confirm, press 2 to return
Dani
"Finally! Getting somewhere!"
Mathew W. Weaver
You have confirmed. Please hold while we connect you to
"Guessing Who The Weaver Is"...
Dani
"What? No, that was 5! I'd rather bloody Kill Brian!
How do I go back on this? Hell! No!"
Mathew W. Weaver
Connecting
"Hello?"
Dani
"...err, Hello...(cough)..."
Mathew W. Weaver
"You have reached the Gecko! Ask and ye shall
receive!"
"...hello?"
Dani
"Oh, right. Err, hello, 'Gecko'. Now, err...erm...okay...erm....The
Weaver, huh? Erm...is he LeBron James?"
Mathew W. Weaver
"The Weaver? What the heck is that?"
Dani
"The Weaver. Your system just put me through to
"Guessing Who The Weaver Is". All I wanted to do was speak to Tony
'No Show'. Who are you?"
Mathew W. Weaver
"I told you. I'm the Gecko,"
Dani
"The Gecko? What the hell is that? Look I don't know
who you are but I want to complain to someone in charge!"
Mathew W. Weaver
"Look pal, you called me. And for the record, I haven't
a clue what the Gecko is. Jordan came up with it,"
Dani
"Jordan? Who the hell is Jordan? And don't you 'pal'
me, mate! I've been waiting for over half an hour to get in touch with Tony 'No
Show' and all I get is a screwy phone system and your sorry arse!"
Mathew W. Weaver
"Well, you're stuck with me, pal, for better or worse.
What's with this 'No Show' dude you keep harping about, anyway?"
Tony Jaeger
You've reached Tony No Show, I'm not here right now, but
please leave me a message, and I'll... I dunno, get back to you and stuff
Mathew W. Weaver
"Who the heck are you? And how did you get on this
line?"
Dani
"What the f....! Oi! You! Tony 'No Show' I'll give ya a
piece of my mind, I will! You, Gecko! Get yer boss on the line! I wanna see the
Complaints book!"
Mathew W. Weaver
"Whoa, bro. This is way over my pay grade"
Tony Jaeger
Hey, this is Tony No Show. Please don't ask me for the
complaints book. It's a big Damn book, and really heavy
Mathew W. Weaver
"Hey, quit hogging the line! This is a personal
paid-for call here!"
Dani
"Hey! I wanna speak to the boss! Get me your boss on
the line!"
Jordan Bell
Herro, you wan terriyaki, you call wight place. Sofa king
goo fry duck aso. Wanton!? You wanten wanton! Got you covahd. Like jimmy hat.
O. Herro, I see. Wong numba!
Dani
"What? Hey! Is this a crossed line? What?"
Mathew W. Weaver
"Who the.... did you say terriyaki?"
Dani
"Where's the boss!"
Dani
"No I didn't! That was some screwball Chinese dude!
Where's your boss?"
Jordan Bell
Wat on stick? Herro?
Mathew W. Weaver
"Terriyaki?"
Dani
"Get off the bloody line! Hell...!"
Mathew W. Weaver
"Just a sec, now, Chief. Hey, Chinese dude,"
Jordan Bell
Confucius say, wong numba asso jerki boy!
Mathew W. Weaver
"Hey, hey, hold it. How's your roast duck?"
Jordan Bell
Brrrrcccchhhkkkk! We're sorry. The number you have reached
has been disconnected.
Mathew W. Weaver
"Wait your turn, Tony boy,"
"Oh for the love of...."
Dani
"....were you ordering food on MY call?"
Jordan Bell
Press 4 for the The Geico Gecko
Dani
"I...oh, go shove your head in a....." (click)
.duhhhhhhhh...
Mathew W. Weaver
(static)
Saturday, July 12, 2014
TIW Weekend Quickie #44 LIVE!
Something new!
I wrote up my take on the TIW Weekend Quickie #44 and it was quite successful, I think.
http://theironwriter.com/weekend-quickie-44/
AND, on her podcast broadcast, DL Zwissler, that great erotic indie writer, read it out :-)
Listen to it here! If you want to only hear my story, she reads it out at around 25:00 :-)
http://www.spreaker.com/user/thefantasyrealm/raidm
I was also involved in an earlier broadcast and the Iron Writers involved were asked to write something inspired by a song...
I wrote up my take on the TIW Weekend Quickie #44 and it was quite successful, I think.
http://theironwriter.com/weekend-quickie-44/
AND, on her podcast broadcast, DL Zwissler, that great erotic indie writer, read it out :-)
Listen to it here! If you want to only hear my story, she reads it out at around 25:00 :-)
http://www.spreaker.com/user/thefantasyrealm/raidm
I was also involved in an earlier broadcast and the Iron Writers involved were asked to write something inspired by a song...
The inspiration: Clare Bowen - Black Roses
This is what I wrote...I don't usually write poetry...
Seeking help, you poor me, what the hell ya think.
Weep, weep, til your eyes they bleed.
Take a look at yourself, take a look at the street you live
And walk away.
Did I like the song? You tell me...
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