Saturday, October 31, 2015

No more Mr FREE guy + Halloween Special

I read this post on a website somewhere that said a few interesting things about giving away your books for free. It doesn't do any good. It doesn't get reviews. It doesn't get sales of other books. Plus if someone can't pay 99c for one of your ebooks, then there's something wrong isn't there? My writing, especially the last novels and stuff is up there with the best (not talking about Bestsellers, they're shit).  Sure, I want to be known, but from what I've seen, those that do bother to download for free, either don't read the books or don't review. So, as of today, all Smashwords ebooks (except the latest book) are no longer free. On Amazon I will increase the price of my ebooks, and hold promo days every so often (free days).
You have maybe a few more minutes to download things for free...
If you'd like to review one of my books, message me, I'll be nice :-)

On another note, here's Weekend Quickie 140 Halloween Special :-)
See the others over here at Iron Writer :-)

WQ 140 – image of girl in dress sitting in a lake, paranormal, panic

It was Jenni's second Halloween. She'd been slack with the potions and spells practice during the year. Her mother had told her every day to go upstairs and do her wand exercises, cauldron cooking and broomstick flying, but she'd spent the whole time on her phone watching Youtube videos, messaging friends and commenting on Facebook. Time had passed and now she was in trouble. She panicked.
"It's time, dear!" shouted her mother. Jenni peeped downstairs and saw that everyone else was ready. She rushed over to her wardrobe and looked in...she'd forgotten to finish her witch's dress. "Come on, dear!"
"I'll... I'll be out in a minute! Go on ahead without me!" She heard her family leaving. Now where was her broomstick? She couldn't remember where she'd put it! "Broomie? Oh, Broomie?" She got covered in dust as the thing flew past her. "Broomie! We have to go and do the Halloween thing!" Her broom bounced around the room but she was still in a panic. Her mother would kill her if she messed up tonight. She sat on Broomie and it flew out of the window. Unfortunately she'd forgotten to strap herself on and landed in the lake.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Desert Bus going strong

Today I received a really nice message from an old friend...
"I've just read your stories in Desert Bus and just had to write to tell you how brilliant I think they are...  There's a lovely flow to your writing in those pieces and the emotion coming through is immense. The first one got me right in the gut and the second one had me turning pages rapidly! Brilliant work."
That made my day, week, year, really. I remember when I wrote those 2 stories and doubting myself (back in 2014).
Looking back at my Amazon Author Ranking in this last year, if I add them all up, I broke into the top 100,000 authors for a total of 8 days! That's over a week! My best rank was #67,853...and these anthologies have really helped with that.
Dani's Short 5 isn't really clicking off Smashwords, but it'll be on Amazon soon and I can do a promo from a website people actually go to...yes, Smashwords is good if you want to give free stuff but it's audience...I'm happy it's there, though.
Stuck on "How to 2"...not the story, just my mood. Maybe today...:-)

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Dani's Shorts 5 #FREE

Published 'Dani's Shorts 5' on :-)
Come and pick it up for FREE!!
Most of the 500 word challenges were done in the last week because I was so busy I missed them, but WOW, are they good :-)

Saturday, October 24, 2015

C115 (Science Fiction) + WQ139 (not) Lol

At the moment, I'm trying to finish up 'Dani's Shorts 5'...3 more challenges to here are a few stories, today's Weekend Quickie, 139...can be found here...

...or here...:-)

WQ139 – image of dried up river, relegation, insight

The team got off the bus and stared at their new training ground, a dried up riverbed.
"Looks like this place has had a bit of a dry spell," muttered Jenkins, the forward.
"Just like you last season. That's why we went down," replied Bobbings, the goalkeeper. They stood face to face, growling.
"Hey, now Bobbings," said Coach Furroughs. "The team was heading for relegation long before Jenkins did his 'magic', or not, as the case may be." The others laughed.
"Why are we here?" spat Richards, left back.
"What are you doing, Richards?" asked Coach.
"Putting some moisture back into the place. Why are we here? Where's the stadium?" asked Richards.
"No one had the insight to bung a few quid to the local council last season. We lost the lease of the stadium to the Girl Guides under-11 team."
"We should play them for it!" yelled Jenkins.
"We'd lose," said Bobbings. "Hey, has anyone seen my gloves? Anybody?"
"Sorry, all equipment was sold by the owner to pay for this place," replied Coach.
"But... this place is dead! There isn't even a single goalpost!" shouted Jenkins, who shared that honour with a cactus for the next two hours.

AND...Here's a parody of "Event Horizon" :-)

Challenge 115
Elements: Theme Song to Paladin, A Demonically possessed jar of Nutella, The Active Act of Mutiny, An Event Horizon

"This is an act of Mutiny, Paladin! I will make sure you are court-martialed for this!" screamed the demonically possessed jar of Nutella over the comm, a jar of Nutella which had taken control of the entire ship on the event horizon of the black hole. I crept on, searching the decks for the murderer of my crewmates, the monster that had destroyed all hope for mankind. The "Fishburnt" was on a mission, a mission to find the secrets locked within this black hole, a black hole that threatened our race, our species, our lives. Somehow, the strange energy surrounding this part of space had brought Doctor Weird's personal supply of Nutella to life. My only chance, humanity's only chance, was to find this evil jar of hazelnut and cocoa spread and put a stop to its dastardly plans of sending the ship straight into the black hole.
"I can sense you, Paladin! Muhahaha!"
With spoon in hand, like a ninja in the night, I moved from pillar to pillar, searching, smelling, making not a sound. The comm started up, an old western-style tune blasted out across the ship.
"Paladin, Paladin. Where do you roam? Paladin, Paladin. Far, far from home..."
"We can work together, Paladin. You can be my right-hand man," sneered the jar of Nutella. The song continued.
"Have Gun Will Travel reads the card of a man..." The song played on under the evil jar's words.
"Paladin, do you realise what this means? What wonders we will find on the other side?"It was babbling in its own ingredients. "We can be kings, Paladin! Kings of the universe! Muhahaha!"
I entered Doctor Weird's quarters and ripped the needle off his antique record player, the song stopping with a scratch.
"You... you found me!" The jar's voice was shaky, afraid.
"Where else would you be, Nutella? No one else on the ship eats the crap," I said, spinning the spoon in my hand. What I was about to do would make me sick, so sick I would puke for hours, but it had to be done.
"Now, Paladin, we can talk about this..." If I wasn't mistaken, the jar was vibrating with fear. I took the chair from the table, sat down and pulled myself towards the table where the jar stood. I banged my spoon on the table, putting it down next to the jar.
"Your senseless murdering stops here," I said and grabbed the jar in both hands, twisting off its lid.
"No! Don't do it, Paladin! You'll... you'll regret it!"
I punched the end of my spoon into the paper seal and ripped it off, and with one powerful stroke, I scooped up a dollop of Nutella and ate it. I choked on it and my head hit the table, my mind spinning.
"Ha-ha! You fool! When you all got your monthly jabs the other day, I included the genomes which create nut allergy! Goodbye Paladin! Goodbye!"
I grasped for breath which was not forthcoming...