Talking female dolphin heroine

Working hard on the movie script for 'Rage' at the moment. Looking good. And of course, getting ready for Christmas. It's surprising that no one wants a Jesus book for Christmas, especially mine :-(
https://www.createspace.com/3783797  (Bethlehem Fiasco)
My 1st and 2nd books were heavy on male characters, with only a few female ones, so for my 3rd I wanted a female heroine...and I got one...I guess...but she's a dolphin. Why?
1: I thought a dolphin character would be good, considering it was set in Atlantis, always connected to water, that legend, plus it gave an angle on the prejudice/different races theme.
2: I thought dolphins were loved by all...I guess not.
And why a female dolphin? Because when I tried to write a female human, I didn't feel it was 100% true, but a female dolphin was possible. I'd have to live my life as a girl to really get into a female human character...Did I become a female dolphin, then?....Only for a while :-)
https://www.createspace.com/3845760 (Rage of Atlantis)

Scenes 4 + 5 of 'Rage'

Here's scenes 4 and 5 from the script of my 3rd book 'Rage of Atlantis'. They should be seen together, as they contrast the world of monkeys, sorry, humans, to the world of hobgoblins. I just loved writing about the hobgoblins in my books, a race of ugly little selfish lazy creatures, rather like the 'Aye-aye' in appearance but with wings.

SCENE 4: POLITICAL CELEBRATION

A large hall with stage, filled with joyous political supporters, flags, music, singing, banners, balloons, party bangers, confetti. Triumphant musical trumpets introduce OEDIOUSPELUS as he makes his way through the crowd to the stage. Supporters and sponsors congratulating, shaking his hand. PLAGAMUS stands in the way to the stage, OEDIOUSPELUS makes his way over to him slowly. OEDIOUSPELUS gets to PLAGAMUS and they shake hands.

PLAGAMUS

Congratulations! Even better than before! What a surprise.

PLAGAMUS moves closer, heads almost touching in loud noisy celebrations.

OEDIOUSPELUS

Just as well otherwise...

PLAGAMUS cuts the hand shaking and gives a stilted laugh. OEDIOUSPELUS and PLAGAMUS wave to the crowd, who are now singing their political party anthem. OEDIOUSPELUS and PLAGAMUS stand up on the stage, OEDIOUSPELUS stands behind the podium, PLAGAMUS behind him, to his right. OEDIOUSPELUS quietens the crowd with arm movements.

OEDIOUSPELUS

People of Atlantis! People of our Great Race and Nation! I want to thank you all for your support in these last historical months. And tonight, tonight you did yourselves and your nation proud!

Cheers errupt from the crowd.

OEDIOUSPELUS

But…

Dramatic pause, OEDIOUSPELUS looks around the large hall.

OEDIOUSPELUS

It is not enough to vote for me…

Crowd is silent, flags stop waving.

OEDIOUSPELUS

We must do more than vote, we must fight! We must fight this ‘unseen’ enemy which even now sought to disrupt such an auspicious day as today. They dared to strike us on such a day! They dared to strike us on our most reverent day! A few moments ago, as you heard, we were once again attacked, in our own place of knowledge, the Main Library. In the heart of our own dear city! We must fight back! We must conquer this ‘unseen’ threat which lies within! We must seek them out and destroy them! But even that is not enough! No! It is not enough! It is not enough to conquer! It is not enough to destroy! We must create the good, nurture the good, so that this evil cannot return!

Crowd errupts in euphoric joy and applause. PLAGAMUS moves closer to a waving OEDIOUSPELUS.

PLAGAMUS

Now we must go see the Auditor.

OEDIOUSPELUS

Easy, now. First the inauguration.

PLAGAMUS

“Oh, yes, of course.

OEDIOUSPELUS and PLAGAMUS continue waving to the noisy crowd.

SCENE 5 - HOBGOBLIN CAVE

From noise to silence. A large cave, some lighting on the walls, the cave filled with young hobgoblins standing around, squabbling, fighting, farting, picking noses. KAILEN is standing on a high rock, with his Generals behind him, shuffling around.

KAILEN

Welcome my fellow hobgoblins!

More farts and some jeers from the crowd.

KAILEN

As you know, my name is Kailen, Lord Kailen, your king and master!

More jeers and burps from the crowd.

KAILEN

If you were expecting a glorious and stupendous speech today, then you will be disapppointed. Just as disappointed with the rest of your miserable little lives. You’re young, you’ll learn!

The crowd quietens down a little.

KAILEN

We are an oppressed race! We are nothing! We are slaves to those in power! And don’t you forget it.

Silence.

KAILEN

Every day of your depressing little lives is without freedom, without hope.

KAILEN looks around the room, now filled with young hobgoblins listening to his speech.

KAILEN

You are the new blood! You are the new force of our race! You are nothing! But as nothing, you can be something! You can do your duty! You can serve your time! And you can look for that inch of a chance, that millimetre of an opportunity…to hit back! Obey, do as commanded, but take your chance, live your mischievous little lives right under the noses of those who oppress you! Sneer at them! Laugh at them! You do have something! You are a hobgoblin, no matter how subjugated, no matter how put down you are! And remember it! Remember that in your tiny veins there is hobgoblin blood, there is the blood of your ancestors, a noble race of villians and thieves who terrorised the universe! Remember!

Tiny applause. Some more farts, most hobgoblins now talking amongst themselves, scratching their bottoms, picking their noses, staring into space.

KAILEN

Boys? Lads?

KAILEN gets some 'yeah's from the crowd.

KAILEN

Just go.

The young hobgoblins slowly shuffle out, the Generals leave too. One hobgoblin stays in the cave, DRUKAN, with KAILEN.

KAILEN

Yes?

DRUKAN

Excuse me, sir, but where do I go?

KAILEN

Where everyone else goes, to the ranks.

DRUKAN

The ranks, sir?

KAILEN

The army, boy, the army. Now, clear off, I’m sure I have something better to do than speak with you.

DRUKAN begrudingly starts to walk out. KAILEN stops him.

KAILEN

Oh, and ‘Oi’, you?

DRUKAN

Yes, sir?

KAILEN

Have a nice day.

DRUKAN

Thank you, sir.

KAILEN and DRUKAN leave the cave separately.

Script Scene 3 - 'Rage'

I really have to start putting finger to keyboard again and transfer my books to scripts. They're very 'open' as books, they allow the reader to use their own schemata to colour the story, but as scripts the story shines through.
Here's Scene 3 from 'Rage'. I'll consider any offers :-)~

SCENE 3 – ON THE BEACH

Camera zooms down through the clouds from last scene, celebrations in Atlantis can be seen, with crowds, a few fireworks in the day, but the camera moves on, onto a beach filled with empty deckchairs. SIPHO is walking towards a secure terminal situated on the end of a low pier carrying a bucket of fish. KANG DEE the dolphin, with a small translation and voice box stuck to her head, can be seen swimming around the same area and camera closes in when SIPHO enters his code into the terminal.

SIPHO

Phew! I’m so tired I could watch a dog grow.

SIPHO sits down on the chair next to the terminal, only to feel the claw of a Blue Land crab on his behind. SIPHO grabs the crab and throws it into the deeper water by the pier. KANG DEE flops onto the end of the low pier, SIPHO smiles, and throws KANG DEE a fish from the bucket.

KANG DEE

(clickety click) What’s up, Sipho? Life’s pushing you too hard?

KANG DEE flaps his tail in the water, SIPHO relaxes back in his chair.

SIPHO

No, not really. It’s just…the menial tasks, you know, they get to you.

The paperwork, the duties, the quadrilateral quantum ratios...

A seagull screeches overhead, both SIPHO and KANG DEE look up. The beach is deserted. SIPHO presses buttons on the terminal, checking figures and watching a holographic prediction of how the Dome defence system would work. The report’s results show 96% efficiency.

KANG DEE

That would be 13.41 years. Give or take.

SIPHO

What?

KANG DEE

Dog life expectancy, that is.

SIPHO

Oh, right, really? That long?

How do you know that?

KANG DEE

Just because I spend my day eating fish and talking to my bull and kids, doesn’t mean I don’t know a thing or two. You never lose it, you know, not even after 20 million years of devolution.

SIPHO

Right.

SIPHO shuts the terminal down and turns his chair to face KANG DEE.

SIPHO

Have you checked on the Leths?

KANG DEE

Of course I have. They’re a bit sleepy at the moment, maybe I should cut back on their rations.

Some distant dolphins sounds come from the water behind in the bay. KANG DEE turns to the sound.

KANG DEE

Oh, my family. They’re calling. Sorry.

Can I go, boss?

SIPHO

Sure.

KANG DEE swims away, waving at SIPHO on her back and disappears. SIPHO locks up the terminal, stands up and watches the water. SIPHO gets splashed by KANG DEE.

SIPHO

Hey!

KANG DEE

Sorry. Habit.

A huge explosion in Atlantis makes SIPHO jump, and ripples the water. Camera quickly moves to celebrating crowd outside the Main Library, huge explosion, people shocked, back to the beach, still large sound, then picture of world, can hear a ‘fish kiss’. Back on the beach, SIPHO takes out a single tubed binocular and looks through it at the city, which can be seen through the low hills of the beach.

SIPHO

Looks like we’ve got work to do.

SIPHO lowers the single tubed binocular, and gets splashed again by KANG DEE.

KANG DEE

I’ll go see what the kids want, then I’ll meet you there.

KANG DEE swims off, SIPHO shakes off some water and quickly makes his way towards his parked personal coptor.

Sicknotized - stream of consciousness?

My 2nd short story has finally taken shape. I was going to call it 'Code 764', or 'Olmecian Aftermath', then I stuck to 'Forgotten'. Dull, I thought. After reading through, it has got to be called 'Sicknotized', with its strange little style, sometimes moving close to stream of consciousness, sometimes relying on dialogue, sometimes on silly thoughts. Just over 6000 words, you can find it here...
http://jottify.com/works/sicknotized/
Go and have a read...please :-)

Non-descriptive narrative is 'Good For You'

I really really really really really (enough?) hate Grisham and all those (a million clone writers) that describe things right down to the shoes and socks the characters are wearing. These writers destroy the reader's imagination, feeding their brains with 100% of information, with no room on the page to 'breathe'.
I guess my writing style is a reaction to that, writing sparse description, giving the reader almost complete control of how they 'see' the scenes/places/characters, with the reader using their own previous knowledge and schemata to fill in the details, with myself only giving essential information, and of course, the dialogue and story, which are always full of ideas and humour.

'The Bethlehem Fiasco' is the easiest to get into, as everyone has some idea of what it looks like in the book, it's hot and sandy, plus everyone already knows the story, and probably watched 'Life of Brian'.
'Man by a tree' and 'Rage of Atlantis' take about 50 pages to get into, as the worlds inside them are 'new' to the reader, but once they're 'in', they race through the fast-paced stories and say...'wow'.
So...do you know how good this 'non-descriptive narrative' is for you? Do you know how much your brain / mind will be energised? Some readers say they read a random chapter or two every day to keep (wait for it, wait for it)...open / creative / charged / happy / healthy / a smile on their face.

I write plays?

Finally, a comment on 'Too Dull to Die' from someone on authonomy.com. The comment really beings home what I've suspected for quite some time now, that I write scripts or plays, and not books, in the sense of the classic 'descriptive narrative'. Re-writing Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream for the kids at school got me thinking that way too, and even when I was directing it, helping them with them with their performances...it all made me think I'm a playwright more than an author. So, still working on 'Rage' script, and have a little of 'Bethlehem Fiasco' in script, too. I must finish all 3 books as scripts/plays sometime...
Anyway, here's the comment :-)

Hi Dani, I like the story, someone who is as lost dead, as he probably was living. It is easy to read and fast paced, a little too fast paced perhaps. I think it reads too much like a play, interspersed with a few stage directions. Which is fine if it is a play! Now, I am not someone who could be bothered to wade my way through pages and pages of descriptive rubbish, I mean if a killer has crept in to murder someone in their shower, who cares what the bathroom looks like? But perhaps a little view of what 'upstairs' was like, or a bit of back story - how did he die? Where abouts did he live, to be able to live such a banal life? At the end of chapter four (as far as I got) it states 'there was so much detail...' I will read on, of course, just to see what happens, for despite what I have mentioned, I believe that overall, it is the story that counts!
Good Luck with it...

Midsummer Night's Dream Uploaded

Yes, my simple silly light humoured 30 minute version of Midsummer Night's Dream is on the net. I haven't written it in book 'style' yet, but I have uploaded the play's script and any other details up onto a spare site slot at...
http://djcshakespeare.yolasite.com/
...for all those ESL teachers who need a little 'classy' school play for their groups. Nothing better than Shakespeare...except for a little bit of Godot, of course. Now, to simplify that one would be just nonsense :-)