Looking back (2) - Satire amuck

'Man by a tree' had favourable feedback, from both friends and strangers. Although my close and immediate family congratulated me, the rest of my relatives either ignored or criticised me actually writing. I found that strange...but people who didn't know me loved the book and I was in euphoria.
So I thought I'd better follow it up. What did I want to write about? The greatest story ever told.

After 3 month quick months, I had my 2nd book, 'The Bethlehem Fiasco', the book that went places Monty Python didn't dare. It gained a lot of great comments on authonomy.com but only got around the No. 200 mark in ranking. Recently, I put the 'baby' scene on YouWriteOn.com and it received many wonder ful comments there, too. A book which doesn't take itself too seriously...ir does it?

http://www.amazon.com/Bethlehem-Fiasco-Dani-J-Caile-ebook/dp/B007UJHQ42

When TIWs get together...Jordan Bell and 'The Rotation'

Myself and Mathew W. Weaver (http://ramblingsandraving.blogspot.hu) from TIW 'respectfully' struck another fellow TIW, Jordan Bell, lovely man (http://jbfiction.blogspot.hu/) on facebook. Jordan loves to change his profile picture, he has some kind of 'rotation' thing going on, you get to see the same portrait picture come along every month or so. That's why I thought we'd better 'have a go' :-) So, in an Orson Welles voice, here's a little paranoid, pulp fiction relay story :-) (hehe)

The Rotation

[All in a Deep Orson Welles voice]

Dani J Caile

The Rotation was on. They wouldn't have a hope in hell chance of finding him now. They'd be as confused as a pig in a sweetshop. The red flare effect portrait had almost taken them off his scent but now he'd upped the stakes...cap with mug.

Mathew W. Weaver

The beard was shortened too; the mass of dense twisted growth shortened to the consistency of prickly hairbrush, the kind you always found yourself landing on when you fall on the couch. It was perfect. Or was it?

Dani J Caile

Would they see through his disguise? Would they entrap him as they had done once before, a victim of their excruciating mind control behind his mirrored glasses...

Mathew W. Weaver

No. Not by a long shot. He wouldn't let 'em take him again. Never again, he had sworn... but now, as he hunkered down in the booth, peering over his coffee mug, the bill of his baseball cap covering his eyes, he could see them, one at the bar and another by the door

Dani J Caile

In the time it took to eat his twinkie and down his coffee, they had swooped over him, each taking a shoulder and leaning into his own personal deodorant space, squeezing him deeper into the booth.

Mathew W. Weaver

"Hey, buddy," one whispered in his ear, shoving something hard in his side, "Long time no see." The other grinned, and patted the suspicious bulge under his coat.

Jordan Bell

You guys are f**king awesome. Lol.

Dani J Caile

"No, not now...why now?" He tried to run but they held him down, their hands like iron clamps. Despondant, he surrendered and slumped back into his seat. "Now, buddy..." The second slammed a pad on the table in front of him. "Get writing. We've been waiting long enough for that damn relay." The first handed him the pencil and he had no choice, no choice whatsoever. The Rotation had failed.

Mathew W. Weaver

 Sweat started to dribble down his face. Silently, he applauded himself for not taking the razor any closer; he knew that they smelled fear, and the beard masked that stench

Dani J Caile

He dropped the pencil and pushed his feet, unseen below the laminated hardboard table, against the edge of the seat's supports. The second turned the pad to himself. "Hey, buddy. That ain't gonna make it. " At that moment, the door of the diner opened as a group of laughing business types entered, ready to order their usual apple pie and crumble.

Mathew W. Weaver

He kicked, and the seat collapsed. One of them pitched backwards with a surprised yelp, and before the other could react, he threw the mug along with rest of the chocolate milk at his face.

Then he was up and gone, pushing past the shocked customers and the wide eyed waitress.

The piece of paper, fluttering like a leaf in the wind, finally landed on the floor, face up to show to the world in general the words:

"Not today, pal,"

Looking back (1) - NaNoWrimo 2011 + authonomy

Already finished my piece for TIW final and did Weekend Quickie 35 and I can't imagine a life without writing. When did it all begin? Where? In November 2011.

Some time in 1995/96, I wrote up my experiences of being in a band and tried to change it into fiction. This was my first serious attempt at writing and I even sent it to a publisher...it came back with a 'Thanks but no' note. (When I was 9 I wrote my first story about a family who lived in a speck of dust).

After moving to Hungary, it never came into my mind that I should try again until someone said 'You should write a book about that', a sarcastic remark, I think. Mid 2000s, I did write a children's ESL book but the project was destroyed by a manager who 'fed' his friends.

Anyway, I saw on the internet an advert about NaNoWrimo, "write 50,000 words in a month" challenge.

For 30 days I wrote. And I got 51,000 words. I won the challenge. I then saw another thing about 'authonomy.com' and uploaded my 'book' (after some editing). It received 44 backers and got to No.81 (good for that website) with a ton of comments and help. After a little more cutting, 'Man by a tree' was born. The ride had begun.

http://www.amazon.com/Man-tree-Dani-J-Caile-ebook/dp/B007UJE86G

TIW Weekend Quickie 35

Here's my latest TIW Weekend Quickie, mixing a few TIWs with the elements given in that great little nursery tale.
Go see it, on the site (and the comments) and many more stories from other TIWs (including Jordan :-))
http://theironwriter.com/weekend-quickie-35/

"Little Red Shiny Jordan"

Little Red Shiny Jordan listened to his darling mother.

"Now, run along into the forbidden Iron Writer woods and take your Aunty Brian his weekly beer and jello."

"Arr, Mom! Do I have to?"

His mother rubbed his shiny little head.

"And don't forget to start that nice little relay idea of yours in his website's forum when you get there…What's wrong? You look suspicious, my little man?"

"Someone's been sitting in my chair…"

"Wrong tale, son, wrong tale. Now get going, he's waiting. And what have I told you about wearing sunglasses in the house?"

Little Red Shiny Jordan skipped his way through the woods and past the "Don't go in the woods" sign put there to stop the fly-by-nighters' voters from entering.

Suddenly, from behind a facebook comment, out popped Mamie Fox and Amanda Wolf.

"Hello there. What's a fine-looking little chicken leg like you doing in the woods?"

"I'm running an errand for my Mom. Ooo, Mamie Fox, what big hair you have."

"All the better to mess your mind up with."

"And Amanda Wolf, what strange big mesmorising eyes you have."

"All the better to twist your little heart up. Come, Mamie Fox, supper has arrived...."

The FINAL piece - How

Finally, it starts...
I've got the 4 elements. I now have 7 days to create the greatest story I've ever done for TIW...a tall order, there have been some crackers, for example the '1st Anniversary' 500 worder, where I added 1 element from each of the 1st 52 weeks to the given 4 elements. Crazy but great little story...here...(http://danijcaile.blogspot.hu/2014/02/first-annual-2014-iron-blog-tour.html) - it'll be in 'Dani's Shorts 3' for FREE.
So, I've gotta do better than that? How?

Okay, so let's run through the process of creating a 500 word TIW Challenge Final story :-)
1. Look at the 4 elements and make sure you understand what they are (some have been very obscure over the last year)
2. Research
3. Look for links between elements
4. Remember any personal or media-driven memories connected to all 4 elements
5. Grab the one or ones which are the most imaginative. Expand on it/them, research it/them again.
6. Sleep on it.
7. Re-read all your notes, try to think of something....anything. 1 day has already gone.
8. Go off and do something else.
9. Later, re-read your notes, then write.
10. Edit, edit, edit, edit, edit....
11. Hand it in 1 hour before the deadline, in multiple ways.
Done. :-) ..well...starting...now.
Let's see what happens.
....finished in one night. Added something, did something special. :-) Editing, editing, editing.

Waiting for The FINAL

Today I should know what the 4 elements for the TIW Final are. I hope I can do them justice, find an angle, add a parody, a message. I will try to fight for the 'crown' but I know from past experience that it may well be all in vain..hell, you have to try! I'm up against two guys who have a ton of 'followers' and against DL Zwissler who is well loved in the TIW community and has 1000s of readers (lucky her - great writer). I'm up against the wall. But I can only step forwards.
For example...

'Circuits & Systems' - it's coming out in May 2014, published by Three Fates Press. I have a story in this anthology called 'Tracer's Choice'.
'How to build a castle in 7 easy steps' - Three Fates Press are also looking at this, my latest novel, and will get back to me about it mid-May 2014. It looks promising.
'Torn' - this is a novella I'm still editing, and re-editing, and re-editing...I keep going around in circles with this one, trying to get it 'just' right. It's a Brad Shaw detective story set in 1880s Steampunk sleepy town USA. I also have a certain portrait I'd like on the cover, an inspiration/memory of the story itself.
'Dani's Shorts 3' - almost at halfway, another 3/4 months to go of challenges, weekend quickies and extras, including my latest, my Challenge 63 take (hehe)...http://danijcaile.blogspot.hu/2014/05/my-challenge-63-take-with-jello.html 

...and, of course, the FINAL, voting Poll opens next Thursday! Don't miss the voting! I need YOU! Yes, YOU!

My TIW Challenge 63 take - with jello!

Still waiting for the elements for the FINAL...so I wrote up my take of Challenge 63. The special thing I did with this was to increase the 4th element, the chat up line, into more than one. And then I added jello. :-)
Enjoy :-)


Creep

(The 4 elements - cave etchings, wooden club, fur, best/worst pick up line ever)

"What's a good looking girl like you doing in a place like this?"

"Jesus, hell! What the...?" Sheila quickly pulled up her skirt and tights and ran out of the toilet cubicle, holding onto the sink for dear life. "What the hell are you doing in here? This is the women's!"

The man's head, which had popped out of the toilet seat so suddenly, slowly sunk back down, only to reappear as if by magic from the water tank a few moments later.

"Can you keep a secret? I'm a spy on a dangerous mission. I need your help."

"Mission or not, you definitely need some help! If you don't get out of here right now, I'm gonna call for the management!"

The man looked sad as he vanished once again, with his hand pulling on the flush chain. Sheila wondered whether she'd had too much to drink in the bar. This couldn't be happening. Her urge to go had disappeared as quickly as the man.

When she got back to her stool and saw that her glass was empty, that same head came into view, sliding across her sight.

"What the...! You again?"

"Hello. Sorry, but do I know you? You look very familiar."

"What do you want, creep?"

"Fancy a drink, darling?"

"Why the hell do you think I'm sitting in this bar?" The head slid back from whence it came. She looked around to check whether it was only her, and everything was as before, people chatting, some dancing, groups of friends having a good time. It was only her. She needed another drink and tried to get the attention of the barman who was nowhere to be seen. The man, this time cleaning a glass and dressed as a waiter, popped up from behind the bar, smiling.

"Hello. Would you like to come up to my place and see my cave etchings?"

"What? How...? Do you work here?"

"My! Is that a wooden club in my pocket or am I pleased to see you?"

"Yuck! Jesus, guy! Lay off me, will ya!"

He leaned even closer and wiggled his eyebrows.

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

"Who the hell do you think you are? Manager! Manager! I demand to speak to the manager!"

The man submerged below the bar, still cleaning the glass.

"Where the hell is the manager?"

A man in a fancy black suit and tie walked up to her through the crowd, suave, extraordinaire. The light hit his face...it was the same man.

"What is going on here?" shouted Sheila.

"You know, I'd climb the highest mountain for you, swim the widest ocean, wrestle the strongest bear. I'd rip the fur off its back and make you a coat to be proud of."

Sheila didn't know whether to cry or scream. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes, her mouth trembled as the words escaped her lips.

"Does that come with jello?"