"Excuse me?" Satan clicked his fingers together and Lucifer tried to disappear. The waiter took his time coming over.
"I'd like a soup."
"A soup, sir?"
"Yes. You do have them, don't you?"
"This is a restaurant, sir, we have soup. See?" The waiter pointed to some now empty tables filled with bowls of brimming hot soup, untouched.
"Yes, I see. That's a lot of uneaten soup."
"I'd like a thick, creamy, mushroom soup. And you, Luci?" Lucifer was halfway off the table, trying to escape.
"Me? Oh, err, onion, onion soup."
The waiter jotted it down on his pad.
"Small portions. Don't want to put on any more weight." Satan gave his infamous smile.
"I'm sorry, sir, the small portions are all sold out today. We only have large portions left."
"Oh." Satan looked at Lucifer.
"I can see the logic in that." Lucifer pointed at all the empty tables.
"Oh, okay, we'll have large portions, then."
"Absolutely, sir. Would you like a drink, sir?"
"Why? You offering?"
The waiter paused for a moment and left with the soup order. Satan got back to his story.
"Anyway, where was I?"