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Monday, July 28, 2014

TIW Challenge 74 - "The Spirit of Aragorn"

Yes, finally all caught up with TIW, just waiting for the 76,77 and 78. I wonder what they'll bring?
Here's my take of Challenge 74 (a bit late). I hope it invokes a reaction...:-)

The Spirit of Aragorn

TIW Challenge 74
(elements - horse, umbrella, car battery, told from the point of view of a defense attorning invoking the Stupidity Defense. (The attorney pleas stupidity, rather than insanity))

"I invoke the Stupidity Defense," said defense attorney Todd Ranson in the most serious tone he could produce.
"Oh, Mr. Ranson, I wish you wouldn't," replied Judge Theadore, scratching his long dappled nose with a hoof. "Do you have to do this every time a human comes to our court?"
"Err, yes, I do, Judge Theadore. It's because they are." With humans, it was the only course of action. Everything they did was stupid.
"Okay, Mr. Ranson. Please, once again, enlighten the court as to this human's stupidity, or as you have so rightly put on so many occasions before, the stupidity of their whole entire race."
"Thank you, Judge Theadore." Todd Ranson looked over to the bewildered human seated in the guilty chair holding a car battery and umbrella. The shock of reaching the court of Equus Ferus Caballus was perhaps too much for the fool. "As you can see, my learned colleagues, this poor specimen of a human is still in possession of the very same tools which substantiate his guilt." Clip clops of acknowledgement came from the jury. "The car battery it tried to connect to the wire fence which surrounded the victim, and the umbrella which saved itself from the pouring rain." The human realised and immediately hid the said items. "And now it probably thinks 'out of sight, out of mind'. The signs of a poor, delusional creature."
"Oh, Mr. Ranson, get to the point," grumbled Judge Theadore, neighing in boredom.
"Well, as you all know, the human race believes that it, and it alone, is the only true intellectual group on planet Animalia, or Earth as they call it." More clip clops and some irate neighing filled the courtroom. "Does this not show how stupid they are, to ignore the pleas and calls from other animals of their destructiveness and selfishness on this planet, dismissing their fellow passengers on this journey of life as mere nonsense and noise?"
"Objection! You cannot put the faults of a whole race on one individual." Prosecutor Red Randalf stood up with two hooves on his desk.
"Objection overruled, Mr. Randalf. Don't you want to get to your oats as soon as possible?" asked Judge Theadore. The prosecutor neighed and stood down.
"Thank you, Judge Theadore. Now, not only do these savages…" Todd nodded over to the human "…continue to enslave, manipulate and murder themselves and other species such as ours, they also still believe in a non-existent entity they call 'god'."
"Isn't that 'dog' spelt backwards, Mr. Ranson?" asked Judge Theadore.
"It is, your honour, a fact lost on these sad moronic parasites. And not only do they believe in such a non-existent entity, but everything that happens in their lives, they attribute to 'god', whether good or bad."
"No matter how many times you say it, Mr. Ranson, it just doesn't get old." The judge and his cohorts neighed in laughter with the whole courtroom giggling. "Everyone knows the universe is controlled by the Spirit of Aragorn."

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