Here's the latest one, it was quite interesting to do, what with research and stuff :-)
Iron Writer Challenge 124 – The E. Chris Garrison Challenge
Elements: the Grandfather Paradox, a selfie, a deck of Tarot Cards, mistaken identity
"Hello, dearie, how can I help you? Would you like me to read your palm? Or maybe have a look at your future in my crystal ball?" asked Madame LaRue Quelle as the man walked in. He looked so goddamn miserable. "Hang on, if you don't mind, I'd like a selfie with the saddest piece of shit I've ever seen." She grabbed her phone and took a shot.
"Who are you calling a piece of shit?" said the man.
"Sorry, mistaken identity. Can I help you?" she repeated.
"I'm a troubled man," he said.
"No kidding. How about a bit of fun on the ouija board?" she asked.
"Look, I just want to know something. I'm... I'm in a grandfather paradox."
"Uh-huh," she said. It takes all sorts.
"You don't believe me, do you?" he asked, getting frantic. "I'm in trouble."
"How about a Tarot card reading?" She took out her favourite deck of Tarot cards and laid three down, turning over the first. "Oh, the Queen of Cups, you know what you want."
"I was born a girl," said the man.
"What?" she said, not hearing right.
"Then I got pregnant and gave the baby away," he continued.
"Excuse me?" This man was a complete nutter.
"I also found out that I was a Hermaphrodite," he said.
"Oh." That explained a few things. His perfect choice in shoes, for one.
"Later I tried to find the baby but found out it had been taken and... disappeared. I mean, completely. No trace," he said.
"Ah-ha." This one might be a long twenty bucks.
"Then, I decided to live my life as a man and after some bad relationships, I found myself in a bar, talking to a man about my problems. He said he could make it all better," he went on.
"I wish," she said. Why her?
"He had a time machine. He sent me back and I found a girl who liked me, and we had a baby, then the man disappeared with the baby."
Things were getting really complicated.
"And now I'm confused. I just met me, the same me before the time machine. I had the same conversation with him as that man had with me. I think I need to follow him back. I think I need to take the baby and send it back in time... to my birth," he said.
"Okay, now that's some really messed up shit. What you're saying is that not only are you 'you', but you are the 'man', the 'girl' and the 'baby' as well? Because of this time machine?" she asked.
"Yes," he said, smiling. "You understand!"
"I think I do," she said. "I'm quite intelligent, you know." She scratched her head. "There's a problem, though."
"Yes, I know. What happens now?" he asked.
"No, that's not the problem," said said. "If this is all true, you were never born to start with."
And with that he disappeared into thin air.
"Damn. No twenty bucks," she said.