Thursday, February 18, 2016

"All For Love" Paperback! + C145 Win!

"All For Love" paperback is finally out on Amazon! Don't all rush at once!
Somehow I broke the 100k on the Amazon Author Rank (#94,275) for a day :-)
And thank you, Annoymous, for your latest comment. No, I don't think those sex websites would be good to look at.

And...I won the Iron Writer Challenge 145 with a nice little story called "Dalloway's Clown".

Can you see the 4 elements?

Dalloway’s Clown

The whiskey bottle, black eye and forlorn look said it all. Another failure. “How did it go, the birthday party?” she asked.
“I quit.”
“Oh, that well.” She hung up her coat and went into the kitchen to make a coffee. “Did you do your song and dance thing with the water squirting flower?” He grunted and she heard him take a swig.
“It’s my opening act. Went down like a turd in a playground.”
“Did you do your $1 changing to a $2 trick and then back again? I like that one.” She put the kettle on and prepared her cup.
“The kid only had a $10, so when he saw it change, he got upset and ripped it up.”
“But that $2’s a collector’s item!” she said, getting out a spoon.
“Tell that to an eight year old.”
“Where did you get the eye?”
“From his dad.”
“I was strangling the git!”
If only he would go back to his street performing she loved so much and not do these cheesy, pathetic children’s parties. She remembered when they first met, her falling for his colourful baggy trousers, red nose and him juggling knives while blowing fire from his mouth. She swooned at his mixture of Chinese and Celtic tattoos and they went for a burger on his takings. He was such a man then, but now? Now he was a mere clown. “You can’t find the answer in a bottle.”
“I can try. This is the last one. Have we got any more?”
She looked around the kitchen; he’d drunk the whole place dry.
“I even drank that piss poor vodka in the jar.”
What vodka? They didn’t have any vodka. “Why didn’t you try your balloon animals, that’s always a winner.” Her water boiled and she made her drink.
“I did. They said my poodle looked more like a woman’s genitalia.”
“Eight year olds?”
“What about your X-ray glasses gag? That always gets the adults going. That’s half the fight.”
“Yep, did that one, too. I think I’m gonna be indicted for harrassment.”
“Oh. How about your joke cigars?”
“Second indictment.”
A sip from her coffee took the edge off. “So, bad gig, then. But come on, you’ve gotta look ahead, try out new routines. Have you got any new things from that shop of yours?”
“Oh, ‘that’ shop? The one you said was full of crap?”
“Yes, that one.” Why did she even say that?
“Haven’t been there since we went. It was so embarrassing, you saying it was so lame. And then you bought Sea Monkeys. Sea Monkeys!”
“They looked interesting.”
“I’m sorry I let you see that shop now. Last time I went in they laughed at me. I’m quitting this clown act. I’ve had enough.”
“Maybe you should. Speaking of my Sea Monkeys, where are they?” She went into the room and held up the empty jar. Why was he now puking on the carpet? He could never hold his drink.

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