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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Opening few words of new novelette in 4 languages

I've worked on this a bit, don't know if it's ready yet, but here are the first few words of the new novelette. If you could send some feedback on it, that would be great. If you could read it, that would be great. English - Russian - Hungarian - German, using 'Google Translate', so I guess it's going to be a bit strange. It won't be a professional translation, but you'll get the gist of it.


 “What…?” Guido was up with a start. He looked over at his alarm clock which read 2:33. 2:33am? That was strange. The earliest he’d ever been up in his whole entire life was 5:52. He should know, he kept a record of it. Listening for a moment, there was nothing, and so he settled his head back down on the pillow. Over in the corner of his room was his luggage, two bags filled to the correct baggage allowance on the flight to the ship, enough clothes for 10 days before having to use the self-service laundrettes onboard. His tickets were still on his bedside table. In his 34 years 5 months and 14 days not-so-interesting life, he was finally about to embark on his greatest adventure, his first adventure. His only adventure. Four months on a world cruise. Closing his eyes, he shot straight up again once he heard the cough.
“What? Who…who? Who’s there?” He fumbled for his bedside light but couldn’t turn it on.
“Sorry.”
“What?” As much as he tried, he couldn’t switch the light on.
“Here, allow me.” A dark shadow appeared closer to him and switched it on. Guido jumped right out of his bed on the opposite side from what was now quite clearly a man.
“Who the hell are you? What…what are you doing in my bedroom?” The stranger moved out of the light and sat back in the chair where he was obviously sitting when he’d coughed.

"Что ...?" Guido было с начала. Я посмотрел на своего будильника читали 2:33 Какая. 2:33 утра? Это было странно. Самая ранняя он когда-либо был в его всю жизнь был 5:52 целой. Я знаю, я вел записи о нем. Прослушивание на мгновение, ничего не было, и поэтому я остановился голову обратно на подушку. В углу его комнаты был свой ​​багаж, двух мешков на правильный провоза багажа на рейс на корабле, достаточно одежды за 10 дней до того, чтобы использовать самообслуживание прачечные на борту. Его билеты были все еще на своем прикроватном столике. В свои 34 лет 5 месяцев и 14 дней не очень интересная жизнь, я был на пороге, наконец, его величайшее приключение, его первые приключения. Его единственное приключение. Четыре месяца круиза мир. Закрыв глаза, я выстрелил прямо одиннадцать раз я услышал кашель.
"Что? Кто ... кто? Кто там? "Он нащупал его постели света, но не могли его включить.
"Извини".
"Что?" Как бы я ни старался, я не мог переключать свет.
"Здесь, позвольте мне». Темную тень Появился ближе к нему и включил его. Гвидо вскочил прямо из постели на противоположной стороне от того, что теперь удалить Очевидно человека.
"Кто вы, черт возьми? Что ... что ты делаешь в моей спальне? "Чужой переехал из света и откинулся в кресле, где я сидел дюйма Когда он, очевидно, закашлялся.


"Mi ...?" Guido fent volt a kezdet. Néztem át az ő rádiós ébresztőóra olvasni 2:33 Ami. 2:33? Ez furcsa volt. A legkorábbi, amit valaha is fel egész életében volt 5:52 Teljes. Én csak tudom, én is vezetett nyilvántartást is. Hallgatása egy pillanatra, nem volt semmi, úgyhogy Betelepült fejét vissza a párnára. Over a sarokban a szobájából volt csomagmegőrzőt, két zsák tele a megfelelő poggyász a járat a hajó, ami elég a ruhák előtt 10 nappal, hogy használja az önkiszolgáló laundrettes fedélzeten. A jegyek még mindig az ő éjjeliszekrényen. Az ő 34 év 5 hónap és 14 nap nem túl érdekes az élet, azon voltam, hogy kezdeni végre a legnagyobb kalandra, az első kaland. Ő csak a kaland. Négy hónappal a világ körutazás. Lehunyta szemét, én lőttem egyenesen felfelé 11 megint hallottam a köhögés.
"Mi van? Ki az, aki ...? Ki van ott? kitapogatta az ágya mellett könnyű, de nem tudta bekapcsolni.
"Sajnálom."
"Mi van?" Bármennyire is próbáltam, nem tudtam kapcsolni a villanyt.
"Itt, hadd." Egy sötét árnyék Megjelent közelebb hozzá, és bekapcsoltam. Guido ugrott egyenesen az ágya másik oldalán, amit most eltávolítani Egyértelmű egy férfi.
"Ki a fene vagy te? Mit ... mit csinálsz a hálószobámban? "Az idegen költözött ki a fény és hátradőlt a széken, ahol ültem be Mikor ő nyilván köhögött.


"Was ...?" Guido war mit einem Ruck. Ich sah hinüber zu seinen Wecker zu lesen 2.33, welche. 02.33 Uhr? Das war seltsam. Die früheste er jemals hatte in seinem ganzen Leben gewesen war 05.52 Entire. Ich muss es wissen, ich habe einen Rekord von ihr gehalten. Hören für einen Moment, da war nichts, und so ließ ich mich seinen Kopf zurück auf das Kissen. Drüben in der Ecke seines Zimmers war sein Gepäck, zwei Taschen gefüllt, um den richtigen Gepäck auf dem Flug zum Schiff, genug Kleidung für 10 Tage, bevor er zur Nutzung der Self-Service-Wäschereien an Bord. Seine Karten waren immer noch auf seinem Nachttisch. In seiner 34 Jahre 5 Monate und 14 Tage nicht so interessantes Leben, ich war ungefähr auf endlich seine größten Abenteuer, sein erstes Abenteuer. Seine einzige Abenteuer. Vier Monate auf einer Weltreise. Er schloss die Augen, schoss ich gerade nach oben elf ich wieder den Husten zu hören.
"Was? Wer ... wer? Wer ist da? "Er tastete nach seiner Nachttischlampe, konnte aber nicht einschalten.
"Sorry."
"Was?" So viel wie ich wollte, konnte ich nicht das Licht an.
"Hier, lassen Sie mich." Ein dunkler Schatten Erschien näher zu ihm und schaltete ihn ein. Guido sprang direkt aus dem Bett auf der gegenüberliegenden Seite von dem, was war nun klar zu entfernen ein Mensch.
"Wer zum Teufel bist du? Was ... was machst du in meinem Schlafzimmer? "Der Fremde zog aus dem Licht und setzte sich wieder in den Stuhl, auf dem ich sitze in. war, als er offensichtlich würde hustete.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

New novelette going well

The ideas just keep coming. Those 2 excerpts have changed, of course. Everything changes just after 5000 words. After that threshold, big ideas come which change the whole story. Big. I now have the hobgoblins and Satan in the story. I hope I can keep it to the 17000 word limit! Whatever happens, I'll be publishing this one :-) (TDX2 - https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/2766)

Friday, August 17, 2012

New comments on 'Rage'

Just got a few nice comments about 'Rage' on authonomy.com...


This is a brief, startling chapter that makes me want to read on to find out what is going on. I like the humor and love this line: “And if you can’t run, shuffle”—it’s brilliant. 

I have not actually read such a great comical short paced beginning to a book. I really do love your style.



More from the new novelette

At over 5000 words now, and it's going well, though probably won't go any further than 7-8000. That size is okay for a 1 POV short story. Graham Reader (Grim Reaper) is there, so is Peter, God, Audrey, and Mavis. Some of the 'Christmas Carol' type memory flashbacks are 'sad', but there are still laughs to be found in them.
Here's another excerpt. Guido is asking Mavis for a drink. Graham is holding a Re-entry form...


“Excuse me, do you have any water? I’m dying of thirst.”
“Is that meant to be a joke?”
“Sorry? No, no, really, I need a drink.” Mavis kept her eyes on Guido as she poured him a small glass of water from her own supply.
“Here.” Guido took the water and started drinking.
“Ah, a Re-entry form.” It was a tatty piece of A5 paper with a list typed on it. “What do you do with it?” With a tut, Mavis explained the process to Graham.
 “Choose which experience you wish to deal with. If you find some of credit, circle it on the paper, if not, cross it off.”
“Ah, technology today.” Graham tried to hand the paper over to Guido.
“No, Graham, you’re in charge. You’re doing it.”
“Oh, right. Have you got a pen?” She begrudingly handed him over a pen.
“I want that back when you’re done with it.”
“Sure.”
“Oh, and here’s your titty.” She blew a large layer of dust off a small circular device she found on a shelf and passed it to Graham.
“Long time since I’ve had my hands on one of these.” Guido sprayed his last gulp of water all over Graham.
“Sorry? What? Tittie? Excuse me? What’s that?” Graham took out a handerkerchief and wiped himself down.
“Well, with this we’ll be going back in time in your life, well, what you can remember of your life, but it has a limit.” Graham showed Guido the time device. “It’s called a Time-Travel Timer, a TTT, a’titty’. It allows us to travel through your memory and see what you experienced.”
“So choose wisely.”
“Ha, ‘tittie’. That’s a laugh.” Guido was starting to have a good time ‘up above’.
“We have to have some around here. Are you ready?”
“I’m not going anywhere, I’m dead.”

Thursday, August 16, 2012

New MC based on Martin Freeman

Yes, corny, isn't it. The new Main Character of my new novelette, a short 'Man by a tree' revival, is based on Martin Freeman, of the 2005 Hitchhiker's movie. It's just so natural to write this part in the style of his typical casting. Already written the first 2000 words, the first 'scene' in the bedroom of 'Guido Leflorainex-Defouis'. It's reminiscent of HHGTTG and Monty Python all rolled into one.
Here's a short extract from the middle of the 1st scene with Guido and Graham Reader (Grim Reaper).


“I’m dead.”
“Yes.”
“And you’re the Grim Reaper.”
“Graham. Yes.”
“'I’m dead'. It’s a bit…blunt, isn’t it?”
“Mmm, I guess so.”
“Surely you’ve done this before. Couldn’t you have broken it to me a bit better?”
“You’re dead, what does it matter?”
“What? Couldn’t you have said something like ‘I’m terribly sorry to tell you this but you have just passed away in your sleep’ or something?”
“Could’ve done.”
“And?”
“Didn’t. I’m done with all that. See this?” Graham showed Guido his clothes, normal clothes bordering on boring. “Not the old black hood and cloak, is it? I haven’t worn anything like that for centuries. Too theatrical, it scares people. Why scare them? They’ve just died, they don’t need some bloke in a frightening hood to come along and say ‘I am Death. I have come for you.’” Guido laughed.
“Yeah, that’s good that.” Guido pointed to an imaginary table. “It was the salmon pâté!”
“Mousse, actually. Get it right.”
“Oh right, yes, so it was. Funny how the details really matter.” Guido sat there for a while, contemplating his death.


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

New Novelette coming

I'd like to enter the L. Ron Hubbard's contest, which means writing something sci-fi or fantasy which can be up to 17,000 words. This is the maximum word count for a novelette (17,500 actually). I have until the end of September to write and send it. I already have an idea, kind of a return to 'Man by a tree', just a little story based on the characters from that book. I could go on for years like that. It's a nice little idea, should be a nice read. Whether it'll be good enough to win a competition is another thing. So, if I don't win anything with it, I'll just self-publish it :-) Depending on its quality, of course.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Life of Brian, The Bethlehem Fiasco

Not many people reading the blog ATM. Though there are a few more countries to add to the growing list of hits....South Korea, Indonesia, Spain, and Italy. Yes, I haven't had Italy before.
I always wonder who exactly is looking at the blog. Is it readers? Is it potential readers? I'm beginning to feel it's neither. With the 'Life of Brian', it got it's credentials from its religious critics, as many people went to see the movie to find out what the fuss was all about. Perhaps 'The Bethlehem Fiasco' is too much for some people. Wait until they read 'The Rage of Atlantis'. Paranoia growing...
Entered another competition, will enter another later. Maybe one day I'll get lucky :-)