Email List

If you'd like to know about the latest promos, offers and publications, get on the email list by using the Contact Form on the sidebar. Thank you!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

New 5 star review for 'Manna-X' :-)

Yes, a fantastic review on Amazon.co.uk! Thank you!
Here's the link...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702
But here it is anyway :-)

5.0 out of 5 stars Undeniably Clever and Ever-So-Slightly Batty! 16 Jun 2013
By Rebecca
Format:Paperback
Dani J Caile's 'Manna - X' is an extremely entertaining and hugely humourous read. It's a story full of wit and tongue-in-cheek interpretations of all (well, not quite all) things Christianity'ish and the peculiarities of modern life. It has a great plot which follows fascinating characters in their race to retrieve the Manna-X machine, and often had me chortling aloud at the undeniably clever and ever-so-slightly batty imagination of the author. I found myself at times wondering how on earth someone could come up with such plausible, yet, completely off-the-wall, alternative explanations about burning bushes, the 10 Commandments and the like. A good laugh. Highly recommended!



Random 'Manna-X' excerpt 4 - page 51 (выдержка 4)

Random Excerpt 4 from 'Manna-X', page 51. It's even in Russian (Google Translate, of course :-))


"An afterlife! I must get back to tell! I must!" The head floated up to connect with the body as it regressed back to its former formless self.
"Back? Get back? Whatever makes you think you're going back? This is it, buddy. Done. Completo. Or non pieno in your case."
"What? Yes, back. I called emergency before I fell off the roof."
Graham saw that wasn't the only thing the guy had done. He'd set it up in true 'Darwin award' style. The guy had dug enough sharp objects into the ground below the roof that would keep an invasion away. He was sure the collection of garden shears next to the front door could stop a tank.
"Fell? You jumped. I'm surprised I'm even here. Anyhow, you didn't reckon on the usual mid-afternoon mothers-picking-up-their-kids-from-school traffic and those new roadworks they've just opened up on the B-road from the hospital, did you?"
"What? Are you telling me...?"
"Yes, you've been on that spike for a while now. But don't worry, stupidity is not part of the criteria for going 'up above'..." Graham's communicator bleeped. He answered it while the soul walked around, still trying to work out what had happened.
"Yes?"
"Graham! Get back here right now! The boss has got a job for ya! You've got to see Deirdre in her office. Now!"

"Загробной жизни! Я должен вернуться сказать! Я должен!" Глава всплыла, чтобы соединиться с телом, как это регресс к своей былой бесформенное себя.

"Назад? Вернусь? Что заставляет вас думать, что вы собираетесь вернуться? Вот оно, приятель. Готово. Completo. Pieno или не в вашем случае."

"Что? Да, спины. Я вызвал скорую, прежде чем я упал с крыши."

Грэм увидел, что была не единственная вещь, парень сделал. Он поставил его в стиле "Дарвин премия« правда.Парень вырыл достаточно острые предметы в землю под крышей, что будет держать вторжения далеко. Он был уверен, что коллекция садовые ножницы рядом с входной дверью может остановить танк.

"Упал? Вы прыгали. Я удивлен, я даже здесь. Во всяком случае, вы не рассчитывали на обычных середине дня матерей-подъем-их-Дети-из-школы пробок также новые дорожные работы, они уже только что открыли на B-дорогу от больницы, а вам? "

"Что? Вы говорите мне ...?"

"Да, вы были на шип, что на некоторое время теперь. Но не волнуйтесь, глупость не является частью критериев собирается 'наверху' ..." Коммуникатор Грэма гудками. Он ответил на него в то время как душа ходил, все еще пытаясь понять, что случилось.

"Да?"

"Грэм! Вернись прямо сейчас босс есть работа для тебя! Ты должен увидеть Дейдра в ее кабинете. Сейчас!"

Jesus was a stand up comedian!

Only a few more hits to the 10,000! Hello India!
Perhaps this will do it...
For the past few months, someone's been dropping little pieces of paper which have "Jesus lives" and "Jesus is King" written on them. Just down one street, my street. Do they know something? Is it someone I know? 'Bethlehem Fiasco' is a great little read if you ever get the chance...
Thinking about it, perhaps Jesus was a stand up comedian! He turned water into wine? Healed the sick? Perhaps it was his presence, you know some people, when they walk into a room, make you feel fantastic, they have 'presence', they make you feel great. Perhaps Jesus was someone like that, they made the people feel so good that outsiders thought they were drinking wine rather than water...
Oh, it's just a tiny little thought, nothing serious. But if I'd said that a few 100 years ago, I would've been burned at the stack, after having my [censored] and my [censored]...churches and religions, huh. "No one expects the Spanish In...!"

Friday, June 14, 2013

Random 'Manna-X' excerpt 3 - page 145

This seems to be popular, posting 'random' pages - look, really, they are random. Take this one, for example, typical plot moving page.
Page 145...:-)
(only 100 hits to go to the BIG 10,000 for the blog!!)


"Where am I?" Alicia's words came out before she opened her eyes. Once open, she was staring straight at the rooftops of a city through a wall to wall window in a small studio apartment.
"Ah, you're back. Want tea?" Graham was sitting at the table in his open plan kitchen cum living room, inspecting Alicia's necklace and pendant.
"Where am I?" By the looks of it, she was in this man's apartment. A strange man's apartment. A dream come true, but not the way she'd imagined.
"This is my place, not much but it makes do."
Alicia sat up on the sofa. Nice flat, shame about the face. She slapped her hands on the cushions to get Graham's attention.
"Look, I...I...what...who...who are you? What do you want? Why am I here?"
"That's a lot of questions. My name's Graham."
"Yes, that I do know." Ordinary face, ordinary name. "Why am I here?"
"Because of this. Or rather what it leads to."
"My head hurts."
"It would. Monk...humans aren't meant to go through portals, least not live ones."
"What?"
"Portals. I sent you through two...well, three to get here. They're not exactly healthy for physical beings."

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Random 'Manna-X' excerpt 2 - page 74

Well, this is 'random' excerpt number 2, part of page...74 of 'Manna-X'!
I was able to put things in this book I thought I'd never be able to put in a book. But I did :-)




“Good, good. We are keeping up with them, whatever they are doing, and one step in front of the others. Ah, it's better to be ahead.”
“Much better to be a whole body,” said Lucifer under his hood.
Satan was getting tired of these jibes from Lucifer. Why couldn't he stare in his mirror as he usually did and be quiet. A little light bulb flickered on in his head, went out, flickered, out again, then burned intensely until the filament went 'pop'. A new bulb was put in.
“Luci, my dear, you are a genius!”
“What?”
“A genius! A head! Come with me!” Satan took Lucifer by the hand, perhaps for the first and last time ever in physical infinity, and tugged him through the bar to the double doors at the back which led to the offices, laboratories, torture rooms, baths and dog grooming parlours.
“Heads, dear boy, heads.”
“Yes, it's good to have one. On the neck is a good place.”
“Mmm, some people are not so fortunate, as you will see.”
Lucifer never liked going into the backrooms with Satan, he couldn't be sure what he'd find.

2nd win in 'The Iron Writer Challenge!'

I won a second time! With 45 votes this time. Hey, it's just a popularity vote, though but still...





Here's the story if you missed it..."Whoops"...it's loosely based on Virigina Woolf's 'stream of consciousness' technique, with only thoughts and dialogue, with one action to end and finalise it.
http://theironwriter.com/the-stories/challenge-15/

Random 'Manna-X' excerpt 1 - page 117

Yes, I'll be putting on 'random' pages of 'Manna-X' on my blog. Truely random, to show what's inside :-)
Here's page 117 of 276 (actually the beginning of Chapter 10 - Sicknotised and Dead) - completely random, really.



"I love my pet rabbit, Fluffy. I love the way he sits in my arms, twitching his nose and munching away at his lettuce leaf. And when he got sick the other week, I loved him even more, until he got better, and then I loved him even more. I love the rain, too, as it hits the windowpane and falls down in wavy droplets all the way down to the bottom of the frame. I love it when the smoke escapes from the chimneys of the far-far-away factories, and the clouds, the clouds, they..."
Bob 1 listened to this creature continue on. Where was he? What was he doing? Why was he here? Who was he? He turned to the next person in the seated circle.
"Err, excuse me, but where am I?"
"Here, I think." Bob 2 was also having trouble.
"Right. And, err, how long have I been here?"
"Well, when did you get here?" Bob 3 entered the conversation.
"I don't know." The first speaker coughed as they were now becoming quite loud and were disturbing his 'sharing time'.
"And, if I may ask, how long have you been here?" Bob 2 gained back the floor from Bob 3.
"I don't know." Bob 1 racked his brains.
"Well, that's how long." Bob 4 gave the final assumption.
"Thanks, I feel...reassured now."

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

What's the Problem?

I'm waiting for some copies of 'Manna-X' to come, it'll take a week or two, so I picked up 'Rage' and read a bit. Then a bit more. And a bit more. Got to page 56 in half an hour. 'Rage' is a fantastic book. I then had a look at 'Man by a tree' and 'Bethlehem Fiasco'. They're both great, too. Is it just me? In my own eyes? No. Whoever has a read likes them. I only ever got 2 bad reviews, both from Indians who couldn't (can't) read English. So they don't count.
So, what's the problem? Maybe I should include vampires, werewolves and lots of teenage romance and sex...but then where's the lesson? The only lesson I see there is that [censored...very censored]
Just noticed I'm getting to 10,000 hits on this blog, with over 1000 per month. I think that's pretty good going.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Manna-X already has an Amazon rating!

Wow! 'Manna-X' has a rating in Amazon.co.uk's 'Books': 150,310 in Books! I don't think that's so good, but I don't think I've ever had a 'rating' so high there before!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702
Oh, and here's the full finished cover, if you were wondering...



Sunday, June 9, 2013

Good for Grisham

John Grisham, the 'undisputed master of the legal thriller' with..."The Racketeer"...I think that title suits him quite well. Yet again, the same formulaic book...one book out every couple of months, each with over describing of clothes, buildings, facial movements, interlaced with bad 'B' movie dialogue...I congratulate Grisham! He has captured the hearts and minds of hundreds of 1000s of readers with this stuff! He's smarter than me, thinking the readers' market is full of dumbass nobrainers. I congratulate him on getting what I call a 'tenure' publishing contract with a major publisher - whatever he writes, they print... his words, however awful they are, make a lot of money. Really, I can't read one page without finding something to shout about.
And me? No sales, no nothing. Entertaining books with an enriching philosophical filling...but no readers...
So I applaud John Grisham, and all those other writers with their formulaic six-monthers!

Me? Finally, Amazon has got my stuff together, 'Manna-X', can now be seen in both paperback and Kindle!
http://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Manna-X available! 5 star review!

So, if you want to have a good laugh, lose some stress, put a smile on your face...or try to understand the meaning to life, the universe and everyfish, then here you are, 'Manna-X'!
I already have a 5 star review on Amazon.com from the now famous Jasper T. Scott!
5.0 out of 5 stars Manna-X is one Roar of Laughter After the Next!, June 8, 2013
By 
Jasper T. Scott This review is from: Manna-X (Paperback)
Manna-X is a light read, filled with fun characters and witty jabs at everything and anything. There are a few parts to take offense to if you have a religious background, but nothing too major for most to appreciate. Overall, the story flows very well and the writer's clever wit shines through on every page. The story follows just about every character on a chase through time and space to find the Code 237, or Manna-X machine, which was used by Moses in the desert to produce manna from the sky--among many other things. The plot of this book reminds me of Big Trouble by Dave Barry, while the writer's style, as always, hearkens back to Douglas Adams. If you need to de-stress and have a good laugh, then this is the perfect book for you!
Paperback...
http://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702
Ebook...
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D94CWF0
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00D94CWF0
https://www.amazon.fr/dp/B00D94CWF0
https://www.amazon.es/dp/B00D94CWF0
https://www.amazon.de/dp/B00D94CWF0
etc..:-)


Chasing a rainbow

Today I started with a horrible written exam and finished chasing a rainbow.
Yes, two hours doing a listening, reading, writing and linguistic (AHH!) exam, coming home to go have a look at the flood waters in Budapest. Then we went to a dance performance in some remote village 20km out (it looked like the only entertainment that village got all year), got rained on twice, and watched a surreal performance of four boys in folk dance costume dancing with white handkerchiefs between their legs - reminded me of the MP fish slapping dance. When we were coming home, we saw the end of a rainbow and I tried to find it...this was the 2nd time I'd tried this...sometimes I forget science...am I looking for the pot of gold?
Manna-X is in Amazon !
Ebook...
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D94CWF0
Paperback...
http://www.amazon.com/Manna-X-Dani-J-Caile/dp/1490371702

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Manna-X a day away...

Yes, Manna-X is going through the Createspace review, though I'll have to do it once again, I found a typo...
What is it about? Well, we're all looking for something, aren't we? You're not? Super. Exactly. Right. Where was I?
I did a concordance on 'Manna-X'...words (+related) and it's a bit 'Freudian'...and people say there's no sex in my books :-) Here are a few of the most repeated words....

...blood, boy, girl, hole, man, physical...only 2 words actually related to sex (sexual + sexuality) but a lot of words related to...stone, stood, straight...:-)
Of course, there are other words, such as...
...book, chicken...(???), code, creature, deal, death, door, face, light, mind, problem, room, shepherd, window...
Only 11 toilet related words, sorry.
But 'chicken'?...just had a look in ze book, yes, a lot of chickens!




Challenge 15 + Crome Yellow (Aldous Huxley)

Challenge 15 is up! Please read and cast your vote - for Dani J Caile, of course :-)
http://theironwriter.com/the-stories/challenge-15/ 
It would be so nice to win again!

The other day I ordered an old-of-print book for my partner in an antiquarian down the road and found a ton of English books. It was a treasure trove. With my lunch money I bought a 1937 copy of Aldous Huxley's 1st book 'Crome Yellow'. I have to be careful when turning the pages because they crumble away.
It's extraordinary, it's wonderful. I love the book - and I haven't even finished reading it yet. I thoroughly recommend it! So wry and witty!
http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/1999 (for those who can't find one in print)

...oh yes, and please vote :-) (see above)

Monday, June 3, 2013

Challenge 15!!! + a 2nd caption win!

Well, I'm into Challenge 15 of the Iron Writer's Challenge, I have a few days to write another 500 worder (actually, I've done it already). A few writers had to drop out/were unresponsive, so Brian Rogers has allowed me a second bite at the bit! Would be so good to win again...now that WOULD be something.
Once it's up, I'll post the link!
The 4 elements are a single super power, an elegy, a wooden water tower and a theremin...













AND I've just won Clive Eaton's Caption Competition for the second time! Twice in a row!
Go and have a look at what I put...:-)
http://www.cliveeaton.com/captioncompetitionforauthors.html

Sunday, June 2, 2013

3 Hobgoblins nonsense - Manna-X Extract

Just thought I'd post a little bit of the new book 'Manna-X' before publishing (hopefully this week).
It's an end piece on the 3 hobgoblins, Ekron, Sniff and Grint (Sniff and Grint were also in 'Man by a tree' and to a smaller extent, 'The Bethlehem Fiasco' - Grint only got a mention there). Hobgoblins are such fun to write for! Thanks to some of my students for a few lines here :-)
(English - Russian - Hungarian -French - German) - by Google Translate (because GT is so funny!)
I'm still amazed about where people read this blog from...I got a hit from Malaysia the other day!


The three hobgoblins looking on from a distance just sat there, mending their wounds and watching the scene play out. Ekron opened his mouth first.
"When I was a little hob, I thought that the sun chased the moon."
Sniff sniffed and laughed until his bruised ribs told him otherwise.
"Yeah, well, you're just stupid. Everyone knows the reason why the moon goes down is 'cause it's tired."
Now Grint joined in with the laughter, though subdued. They went back to watching Graham talking first to the dying female monkey and then to the soul.
"This kind of thing makes me think about the big questions in life."
"What are ya? You getting sentinal-mental?" Grint gave his tuppence.
"Big questions? For example?" Sniff found something for his now bleeding nose. Ekron opened his mouth but contemplated for too long on what to say. Grint beat him to it.
"Why do bees make honey?"
"Good one." Sniff held what can only be described as a mouldy rag under his nose and held his head back. "That's easy."
Both Grint and Ekron turned to Sniff, hanging on the dramatic pause.
"Cosmetics."
"Oh, yeah, yeah, 'course." Sniff and Grint were happy, but Ekron wasn't convinced.
"I always thought it was for the money."
"That too." Sniff's reply ended the debate. Grint spoke aside to Sniff.
"Good bluff." They gave each other a hidden low five.

Три домовых глядя на издалека просто сидел там, чинили свои раны и наблюдает за происходящим разыграть. Аккарона открыл рот первым.
"Когда я была маленькой конфорке, я думал, что солнце преследовали луны".
Sniff понюхал и смеялся, пока его синяки на ребрах не сказал ему в противном случае.
"Да, ну, ты просто глуп. Каждый знает причину, почему Луна спускается это потому, что это устал".
Сейчас Гринт присоединился к смеху, хотя покорил. Они вернулись к просмотру Грэм говорил первый умирающей женщины обезьяны, а затем в душе.
"Такого рода вещи заставляет меня думать о больших вопросов в жизни."
"Что ты? Вы получаете Sentinal-психические?" Гринт дал Таппенс.
"Большие вопросы? Например?" Sniff нашел что-то для своей теперь уже кровотечение носом. Аккарона открыл рот, но предполагается, слишком долго, что сказать. Гринт опередил его.
"Почему пчелы делают мед?"
"Хороший". Sniff держали то, что может быть охарактеризована только как заплесневелые тряпки под нос и держал его голову назад. "Это легко".
Оба Гринт и Екрон повернулся, чтобы понюхать, висит на драматическую паузу.
"Косметика".
"О, да, да," конечно ". Sniff и Гринт были счастливы, но Аккарона это не убедило.
"Я всегда думал, что это за деньги."
"И это тоже." Sniff в ответ конец дебатам. Гринт говорил в сторону, чтобы понюхать.
"Хороший блеф." Они дали друг другу скрытые низким пять.


A három gnómok néző messziről csak ült ott, javítás sebeiket, és figyelte a jelenetet játszanak el. Ekron kinyitotta a száját az első.
"Amikor egy kicsit főzőlap, azt hittem, hogy a nap üldözte a hold."
Sniff szipogott és nevetett, amíg a sérült bordái mondta neki egyébként.
"Igen, te csak hülye. Mindenki tudja, hogy az oka annak, hogy a hold lemegy a" mert fáradt. "
Most Grint csatlakozott a nevetés, mégis visszafogott. Visszamentek nézni Graham beszélt először a haldokló nőstény majom, majd a lélek.
"Ez a fajta dolog, ami eszembe a nagy kérdések az életben."
: "Mi vagy te? Veszed Sentinal-lelki?" Grint adta két forint.
"Nagy kérdés? Például?" Sniff találtak valamit a már vérző orrát. Ekron nyitotta a száját, de tervezik túl sokáig, hogy mit mond. Grint verte őt.
"Miért méhek mézet?"
"Jó volt." Sniff tartott, amit csak le, mint a penészes rongyot az orra és fogta a fejét. "Ez könnyű."
Mind Grint és Ekron fordult szippantás, lóg a drámai szünet.
"Kozmetikai".
"Ó, igen, igen," Természetesen. " Sniff és Grint volt boldog, de Ekron nem volt meggyőződve.
"Mindig azt hittem, hogy a pénz."
"Az is." Sniff válasza véget ért a vita. Grint beszélt félre szippantás.
"blöff." Adtak egymásnak egy rejtett kis öt.
 


Les trois lutins à la recherche à partir d'une distance juste assis là, réparant leurs blessures et en regardant la scène se jouer. Eqrôn ouvrit sa bouche en premier.
«Quand j'étais petite plaque de cuisson, je pensais que le soleil a chassé la lune."
Sniff renifla et se mit à rire jusqu'à ce que ses côtes meurtries lui ont dit le contraire.
"Ouais, eh bien, vous êtes tout simplement stupide. Tout le monde sait pourquoi la lune descend est parce que c'est fatigué."
Maintenant Grint rejoint avec le rire, quoique modérée. Ils retournèrent à regarder Graham parler d'abord à la mort femelle singe puis à l'âme.
«Ce genre de chose me fait penser aux grandes questions de la vie."
"Que vas-tu? Vous obtention sentinal-mental?" Grint a donné son tuppence.
"De grandes questions? Par exemple?" Sniff trouvé quelque chose pour son nez saigne maintenant. Eqrôn ouvrit la bouche, mais envisage depuis trop longtemps sur ce qu'il faut dire. Grint le devança.
"Pourquoi les abeilles fabriquent le miel?"
"Elle est bonne." Sniff tenue ce qui peut seulement être décrit comme un chiffon moisi sous son nez et a tenu la tête en arrière. «C'est facile."
Les deux Grint et Ekron se sont tournés vers Sniff, accroché à la pause dramatique.
«Cosmétiques».
"Oh, ouais, ouais,« bien sûr ». Sniff et Grint étaient heureux, mais Eqrôn n'était pas convaincu.
«J'ai toujours pensé que c'était pour l'argent."
«C'est trop». Sniff de la réponse a clos le débat. Grint a parlé de côté pour Sniff.
"Good bluff." Ils ont donné à l'autre un peu caché cinq.


Die drei Kobolde suchen aus der Ferne saß einfach nur da, Ausbessern ihre Wunden und beobachtete die Szene spielen. Ekron öffnete seinen Mund zuerst.
"Als ich ein kleiner Herd war, dachte ich, dass die Sonne den Mond gejagt."
Sniff schniefte und lachte, bis seine Rippenprellung sagte ihm ansonsten.
"Ja, gut, du bist einfach nur dumm. Jeder kennt den Grund, warum der Mond untergeht wird denn es ist müde."
Jetzt Grint verbunden mit dem Lachen, obwohl gedämpft. Sie ging zurück zu beobachten Graham spricht zunächst den Sterbenden weiblichen Affen und dann auf der Seele.
"Diese Art der Sache lässt mich denken, über die großen Fragen des Lebens."
"Was sind ya? Bekommen Sie sentinal-geistige?" Grint gab seine tuppence.
"Big Fragen? Zum Beispiel?" Schnüffeln fand etwas für seinen jetzt blutet die Nase. Ekron öffnete den Mund, aber in Betracht gezogen zu lange, was zu sagen. Grint kam ihm zuvor.
"Warum Bienen machen Honig?"
"Good one." Gehalten, was man nur als schimmelig Lappen unter die Nase zu beschreiben und hielt seinen Kopf in den Nacken zu schnuppern. "Das ist einfach."
Sowohl Grint und Ekron wandte sich an Schnüffeln, hängen an der dramatische Pause.
"Kosmetik".
"Oh, yeah, yeah," natürlich. "Schnüffeln und Grint waren glücklich, aber Ekron war nicht überzeugt.
"Ich dachte immer, es war für das Geld."
"Das auch." Sniff Antwort endete die Debatte. Grint sprach beiseite, um zu schnuppern.
"Good Bluff." Sie gaben einander einen versteckten niedrig fünf.


Post about Manna-X + Iron Challenge!

Here's my post on Robbie Cox's blog! It goes on about 'elements' and the Iron Challenge, and Manna-X.
The Mess That Is Me...http://www.themessthatisme.com/2013/06/dani-j.html
Just one click away...:-)

Friday, May 31, 2013

Post on Robbie Cox's blog! +

Tomorrow I'll have a post on Robbie Cox's blog, The Mess That Is Me :-)
I hope it'll give me a little more exposure, I sure need it!
A friend of mine is helping out editing 'Manna-X'...it's coming, really. Next week, perhaps?
Another gave me an idea for another story...but first 'Manna-X'. Trees are a main element in the book, in the background somewhere, but still there. We are still monkeys, firmly stuck to those trees...
Here are just a few things you can find in 'Manna-X'...(other than a 1000 other things)
- a new 'fly in my soup' joke (okay, maybe not new but has a new dimension)
- King Solomon's most sacred artifacts ('artifacts' is pushing it)
- Moses and his 'snake' crook (there are a few other snakes in there too)
- the Manna machine (yes, it is in there somewhere)
- crazy non-physical entities (who have absolutely 'no idea'...)

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Poetry of a Madman

Somehow I got a free copy of this book, 'Poetry of a Madman' by Jason Alan.
It's been sitting on my phone for a while, and I was running through the books on it and came across this.
I'm not into poetry much, wouldn't mind having the time to write some but I don't.
But this book of poems really has to be read, there are some wonderful pieces here. Check it out.
Also revisiting 'Solaris'...no, the 1972 'Solyaris' by Andrei Tarkovsky, it's available on youtube.com in two halves, part 1 and part 2. When I first watched this movie, I thought what? Then I knew. If you haven't seen it, please watch.
And lastly, 'Manna-X'...noticed I forgot to put Chapter 11's title in! That would have been embarrassing. Waiting on my English editor...:-) Then I can publish!
  

Monday, May 27, 2013

Watched Big Trouble again

Yes, I watched the movie 'Big Trouble' again, and I see the similarities between my style and Dave Barry's...but his seems a little stretched, unreal, whereas mine is nuts but plausible. I haven't read his book yet, but the film had ongoing jokes, like the 'Discovery' channel thing, for strange information given by the characters. It was said once too often, I was waiting for a character to say 'Disney' channel, now that would've been funny. The characters were all a little flat too, Tim Allen's character had some real dumb stereotypical lines.
Overall, I liked the movie, though it was a bit flat, and I hope that if anyone ever makes a movie out of one of my books (yes, I'm still working on scripts), that it'll be better than that. Wait, what am I saying! I'll be lucky if I can get 1% of the sales Dave Barry did! Congrats to Dave!

Friday, May 24, 2013

Beta-reader feedback on Manna-X

Last night I went to my kid's piano recital...her piece was 2 minutes long. It was good, I like music. Doug from 'Man by a tree' is me, except that I didn't (spoiler alert) and didn't (another spoiler alert) and I certainly didn't (yet another spoiler alert).
AND I got my first beta-reader's feedback! He compared my book to 'Big Trouble' by Dave Barry...now that can't be bad...well, after looking at the Amazon page and watching the movie, I think that perhaps he meant 'roughly'...anyway, he only said great things about it! Caught a few good typos, too.
Another beta-reader is also running through it and highly praising it. I think I have a winner.
If the readers realise it's on the internet.
I'll have an article on Robbie Cox's blog 'The Mess That Is Me' (http://www.themessthatisme.com/) in a week or two, I'll post the link as soon as it's up! All for exposure...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Manna-X update - almost done editing


Russia, USA, United Kingdom, Serbia, Pakistan, Indonesia, Canada, France, Poland, Macau, Hungary, Germany, Ukraine, Turkey, China, Sweden, United Arab Emirates...to name a few more countries this blog has got views from this week! 
The Big 5 are of course, USA, Russia, UK, Hungary and Germany... with the Netherlands, Ukraine, France, Poland and...Turkey...in the Top 10.
News? Well, I've polished 'Manna-X', re-writing the acknowledgements piece and working on the amendments from my beta-readers. I'm really excited about this 4th big book of mine. It has everything I wanted in it, and what I feel as a fantastic end line which sums it all up...on many different levels, personal and philisophically and (blah blah blah) :-)~ I never really like getting too deep when describing my writing.
All I can say is that my books are screenplays for the mind....Hey! That's going in the acknowledgement!
And after this latest 'polish', I can say that this is my best 'all-rounder'.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Surprised post

It surprises me when I see who is reading my blog. Of course, I have absolutely no idea exactly 'who' but I know the countries. Today, Brazil, Pakistan to name but a few. Who are you? Why are you here? Who or what sent you? What are your motives?
I'm happy you're here...make me happier, buy a book, read my stuff, laugh, think and make a difference :-)
Getting to the end of editing 'Manna-X' with the help of a few friends, polishing up quite nicely. It's strange how a few words here and there can make all the difference between good and great.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Another win! Caption Competition!

Well, well, 2 wins in 2 days!
I entered Clive Eaton's (author of The Pyramid Legacy) Caption Competition, the 2nd week in a row, and won!
I re-used a quote from a Batman movie about hungry dogs to make a joke, and I won! (There couldn't have been many entries, really) :-) See the caption and picture here (the dog in a Batman suit)
Just entered again, for the 3rd time. You never know...(My caption for the new one is..."Nah the plugs are okay! Try it again!" (man on car in water))

And a big 'thank you' to Anonymous Á for donating 'Bethlehem Fiasco' to the school library. The kids now have twice as much chance to be a victim of Dani J Caile...perhaps even more so, that book could turn heads..:-)~

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Iron Challenge 11 - WINNER!

A win! Finally I won something! But only with huge support, only with the help of my friends!
Thank you to everyone who helped!
Hopefully there will be 'Winners' book, and I'll be published elsewhere...a dream come true...well, almost :-)~Here's the result...
...Manna-X...soon, still in editing, getting better every day :-)

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

New review on Amazon.co.uk (Bethlehem Fiasco)

Update:
...still working on 'How to'...:'Dani's Shorts 2' coming soon...


Okay, as of 22 Sept 2013...
'Dani's Shorts' and 'TDX2' are still available FREE here...
https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/2766
All my other books are on Amazon :-)
http://www.amazon.com/Dani-J-Caile/e/B00CDX0HSM
Please review wherever you can :-)...
And I'll be in the Iron Writer Autumn Equinox Open VERY soon. Please get your voting fingers ready :-)
http://theironwriter.com/tournament/2013-autumn-equnoix-open-participants/

Fantastic! I've got another review...for 'Bethlehem Fiasco' this time, from 'Rebecca'...thank you, every review moves me closer to more readers...more reviews, more interest, more people who are willing to try and read a book!
So, here it is on Amazon.co.uk...but I've also copied it here :-)
It's an 'Amazon Verified Purchase'...well, it was yesterday, I don't know what's happened now...

4.0 out of 5 stars Exceptionally Entertaining 13 May 2013

By Rebecca

Format:Paperback


The Bethlehem Fiasco is an outstandingly entertaining version of the world's most famous story. Dani J Caile's intriguingly imaginative writing creates characters and scenes that are worthy of great chortling from the off. The book is fun to read with good pace and structure and, dare I say, is uncomfortably believable!
Definitely one to buy if you appreciate Monty Python type comedy; definitely not one to buy if you're a staunch believer of the Christian faith!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Iron Writers + Manna-X Update

So far so good, 38 votes against the closest 16...but it ain't over until the fat lady sings, and my is she fat (and a little miserable on the side)!
http://theironwriter.com/the-stories/challenge-11/
If I win, there's a chance I'll be in a compilation of winners at the end of it all...that's why I'm 'having a go'.
Where was I? Oh yes, added a few things to 'Manna-X' the other day...day, yes, that's it. I realised that there was also one comment in particular in 'TDX2' that I would like to say again, so I did! I re-worded it a little, but who's to say ya can't recycle the same thing, especially if it's a corker!
So, just waiting for my reader to come back to me, maybe the end of this week, and then I'll publish (once it has been ironed out, of course!)

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Not asking for flattery!

Am I upset? No.
Am I asking my readers to 'flatter' me with good reviews on Amazon? NO.
All my readers have said only GOOD things about my books, either on other websites or by personal communication. All I'm asking is that a few of you go just one more step...I know some of you already have, and I thank you for that!
I am not a published writer, I don't have a group of editors, agents and a large team of marketing personel pushing me on the internet and in shops (even if I were in the shops). They do exactly what I'm asking from readers, to help the 'push'. When a new book comes out, they already have dozens of readers ready to review the book and give it some exposure, before it's even in the shops. They have interviews set up, reviews ready for literary magazines...it's big business.
Anyway. If you can, please review on Amazon :-) If you can't, just read and enjoy :-) That's what it's all about, anyway!

Friday, May 10, 2013

Requesting Reviews on Amazon!

I've got 100s and 100s of comments from readers of all my books (including the one still in editing) -I estimate the figure of 'good things' said to be close to a 1000 people, with 2 Indians who hated my books due to their religious beliefs (AND I have a review on Goodreads from 1 - why me?)...but very few reviews on Amazon! Amazon.co.uk has almost 1 per book, Amazon.com has 1, 'Rage' has 2 reviews!
I know roughly how many readers there are out there...I really really need some reviews. If only 10% of you put a review on, things might start to happen! Your reviews make my books sell. Now matter how many times I tweet, say good things, gain exposure doing competitions and interviews, it's YOU, the READER who are the only person who can help me get into the 'light where I belong'. No one believes 'self'-flattery.
Lately, readers have asked me why I'm not famous yet. Well, you could help by putting 20+ words on Amazon. You have said SO many good things AWAY from Amazon, perhaps if you said it there, something might work. With one little step like that, you could be part of something BIG! It's the individual who changes the world, not the group, the group only follows...baa

Let's try a little 'Google Translate' :-) Always good for a laugh! (I wonder what it's like in Russian, Spanish and French?)

Я знаю примерно, сколько читателей есть там ... Я действительно очень нужны отзывы. Если только 10% вы положили мнение о, все могло начинают происходить! Ваши отзывы делают мои книги продают. Теперь важно, сколько раз я Tweet, говорят хорошие вещи, усиления воздействия делает соревнований и интервью, это ты, читатель, который является единственным человеком, который может помочь мне попасть в "свет, которому я принадлежу. Никто не верит 'self'-лести.
В последнее время читатели спрашивают меня, почему я не известная еще. Ну, вы могли бы помочь, поставив 20 + слова на Amazon с 5-звездочным. Вы сказали очень много хороших вещей ДАЛЕКО от Amazon, возможно, если бы вы сказали, что там, что-то может работать. С одного маленького шага, возможно, вам может быть частью чего-то большого! Это человек, который изменил мир, а не группа, группа только следует бе ...



más o menos el número de lectores que hay por ahí ... Yo realmente necesito algunos comentarios. Si sólo el 10% de los que puso un comentario, las cosas podrían empezar a suceder! Sus comentarios hacen que mis libros se venden. Ahora importa cuántas veces me tweet, decir cosas buenas, la exposición a ganancia haciendo concursos y entrevistas, es usted, el lector, que es la única persona que puede ayudarme a entrar en la "luz que me corresponde '. Nadie cree 'self'-adulación.
Últimamente, los lectores me han preguntado por qué no soy famoso todavía. Bueno, se podría ayudar al poner 20 palabras + en Amazon con un 5 estrellas. Tú lo has dicho muchas cosas buenas LEJOS de Amazon, tal vez, si usted dijo que no, que algo podría funcionar. Con un pequeño paso como ese, podría ser parte de algo grande! Es la persona que cambia el mundo, no el grupo, el grupo sólo sigue ... baa


Je sais à peu près combien de lecteurs il ya là-bas ... J'ai vraiment besoin de quelques commentaires. Si seulement 10% d'entre vous mis votre avis, les choses pourraient commencer à arriver! Vos commentaires font mes livres se vendent. Maintenant, peu importe combien de fois je tweet, dire de bonnes choses, l'exposition de gain à faire des compétitions et des entrevues, c'est vous, le lecteur qui êtes la seule personne qui peut m'aider à entrer dans la «lumière où j'appartiens. Personne ne croit 'self'-flatterie.
Dernièrement, les lecteurs m'ont demandé pourquoi je ne suis pas encore célèbre. Eh bien, vous pourriez nous aider en mettant 20 + mots sur Amazon avec un 5 étoiles. Vous avez dit tellement de bonnes choses loin de Amazon, peut-être, si vous l'avez dit, quelque chose pourrait fonctionner. Avec un petit pas comme ça, vous pourriez faire partie de quelque chose de grand! C'est l'individu qui change le monde, pas le groupe, le groupe suit seulement ... baa

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Iron Writer's Challenge 11 is on!

Okay, it's on, the Iron Writer Challenge 11!  was scheduled earlier, number 4 I think, but I was on holiday that week. I still wrote a story because the organiser sent me an e-mail, then realised he'd changed my date, a story about a Vampire Hunter and Vampires on the beach (see this post).
But now the REAL thing! 4 writers, 4 elements, 500 words, 4 days (writers are given only 4 days to write the story)
The 4 elements were...
...yes, every week they're like this, I think the organiser has a shoe fetish...it's all very brown, as you can see, I guess that's why I gave it that title...anyway, I wrote a 500 word story, and now it's up on the website to read (along with 3 other stories from 3 other writers using the same 4 elements). Please read and vote :-)
This might even be my new genre, Dectective Brad Shaw...
http://theironwriter.com/the-stories/challenge-11/

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Some Agent should pick me up...

These comments just keep coming, though no one is listening...
Got this comment from Brian G Chambers on authonomy.com, his book 'Mary's Magic Muffins & Other Tales for Children' is running up to the Editor's Desk at the moment (rank: 20). I backed his book to help him there, so he read a bit of 'Man by a tree', and this is what he said...

Hi Dani
What can I say. I love it, I love it. The humour and wit hits you right from the off. A great, and original piece of writing here. I read to the end of chapter 10, and couldn't help smiling all the way. There is nothing I can fault with this. It is writing at its best. If I were you I wouldn't waste my time on here trying to make it to the desk. I would find myself an agent right away. You are clearly a very clever writer, so you should have these stories (I take it for granted that the others you have written are as good as this) out there so that the world can read them. You will have a huge following. Full stars from me.
Brian. 


This kinda thing makes me believe in humanity again...:-) ...but my sales are still the same as before...:-(

...but hey! One new fan a day...keeps the bridge at bay...?? Can't wait to launch 'Manna-X'

Monday, May 6, 2013

Manna-X 1st edit is ready!

Yes, the 1st edit of 'Manna-X' is done and my first 'beta-reader' is reading it as we speak. It's hard for a writer to assess their own work, and my 1st reader is a very busy person at this moment, he's 'becoming famous' right now. Good luck to him! I'm so envious! (I'm sure you all know who I'm referring to).
And now it comes down to Marketing...reviews on Amazon is what I need, so I guess I'd better find more 'beta-readers'...
How do I feel about the book? I don't think I could have gone any further than I did, this is quite possibly the 'oddest' thing I've ever written. There were some parts I laughed out loud at, and that's after reading it for about the 10th time. There are some lines which are direct references to great works of literature, and only those who know will know...and there are some which are connected to trash/popular films. I think it's all in this one, the humor, the quirkiness, the seriousness, the strangeness, the classics... maybe this is the one which will go 'all the way'...'that's the way they go'....:-)

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Ill

Yes, the title of this post is 'ill'...I have a temperature ATM.
Found 'Jim Jam' on my TV...there's a program with 2 white puppet seals, they find things and put them on their heads...I can't believe someone got paid for that...then there's 'Kipper', those ducks in the pond should be twice the size, those animals are always throwing food at them...and then there's....blah blah...but 'The Mighty Jungle', luv it! That's what my old project 'Let's Go' should've looked like, and not the dark, miserable, Hunglish (Hungarian English) crap that Project Manager turned it into...
I'm ill, I need to work, need to edit, need to get ready for final exams, etc. but all I can do is use my last few brain cells and 3 remaining fingers to type this post up...:-)

Friday, May 3, 2013

Iron Writer Challenge 11- May 9th!

Look! I'm in the Iron Writer Challenge! Put May 9th in your calendars!! (I'll write a post, of course)
I've already written the 500 (exact) word story, and I like it :-) Perhaps it's a glimpse of a new future genre....
http://theironwriter.com/2013/05/02/the-iron-writer-challenge-11/

And, yes, it had to come, I've been banned from playing in Brigg's playground...[censored because I'm very very very paranoid...:-)]

So, here's the last time you'll see my 55 worders, here, not there :-)
The last 3 got into 'Manna-X' in some form or another...yes, I'm still editing...

Not Me (January 2013)
The pints flowed that night in the pub, him and me drinking through his personal hell. His girlfriend was pregnant and he knew it wasn’t him. I backed him up all the way, I’d help him find the guy. I’d make sure he wouldn’t find out it was me.

A True Teen Adventure (February 2013)
The sweat oozed through his vest, every step was agony.
Was it idiotic to brave the onslaught from this dragon in its foreboding lair?
Closer to his goal, with one last breath he was ready to suffer whatever backlash fate decreed. He pointed to them.
“A packet of three, please.”
“Ribbed or regular?”
It's a Mystery (March 2013)
The blonde or brunnette, I couldn’t decide.
The blonde evoked nights of lust and passion,
the brunnette the usual romantic, sweet night cuddled by the fire.
The blonde.
“Come, let’s roam the streets and scream the houses down.”
“Not likely. Me and Flo here are gonna go eat that fish supper in the kitchen bowl.”
It doesn't matter (March 2013)
“Decide. Is this okay?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Like this?”
“No, not like that.”
“This?”
“No, turn it around. Yes. No. Like that.”
“Like this?”
“Yes, that’s better. Err… no, no, it’s not.”
“So, it doesn’t matter?”
“No, no, it doesn’t matter.”
“Like this?”
“No, not like that! Oh, I’ll do it.”
In the night (April 2013)
“What if someone was paying attention? What if someone heard? What if someone cares?” He peeped through the curtains to the empty street.
“What if you just shut up and come and help me with the body.”
“Right. What if…?”
“What if I put this crowbar over your fat head?”
“Okay, got it.”
What if he was right (April 2013)
What if he was right?
“Hello.”
“There is!”
“What?”
“An afterlife! I must get back to tell!”
“Back?”
“Yes, I called emergency before I took the pills.”
“You didn’t read the box properly, or reckon on those new roadworks, did you?”
“What?”
“Don’t worry, stupidity is not part of the criteria for going up…”

Thursday, May 2, 2013

No need for fanatics...

Before I go off on a rant, I just wanna say, congratulations for Jasper T. Scott on his successful launch of his new book 'Dark Space'. He's just tweeted that he had over 2500 downloads!
If I could get even a minute quantity of those numbers, I'd be happy! TDX2, my free novelette, is at 146 downloads, and 'Lejöttünk?' (only the 1st 4 small parts of MBAT in Hungarian..almost half the 1st day of 7) has had 123 views.

Still battling with my destroyed master document of 'Manna-X', what with it's missing bits. I'm at 28,000 words with the 1st read and hit a few things to 'iron out'. Just can't wait to release it...okay, don't all shout at once!

And now a little rant...Hungary has banned (limited) the use of certain symbols, the swastika, arrow cross, red star and hammer & sickle...maybe that should be the 'Sziget' festival T-shirt for this year...just to confuse those left and right wing people...we need fanatics and politics like we need organised religions...NOT! (As they used to say in the 90s)


Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Struggling in editing

Not only am I struggling to make 'Manna-X' the greatest writing I've ever done, I'm also struggling with my computer. Halfway through the 1st read, my computer decided to corrupt my master file, losing hundreds, maybe thousands of random words...I hate my computer.
So, I've been listening to Leonard Cohen songs and covers, Hannah Trigwell is FANTASTIC with Hallelujah.
Anyway, so it's back to the grindstone, find those words, add what was lost...

Monday, April 29, 2013

Lejöttünk? Első könyv fordítása...


Első könyv fordítása...Első nap (1-5)...:-)~

http://jottify.com/works/lejottunk/

Az eredeti cím: "Az ember egy fa" nem működik a magyar.
(The original title 'Man by a tree' doesn't work in Hungarian.)
Több jön...:-)


Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Star Trek Green Girl Fiasco

Yes, I seem to be in this type of fiasco, what with my Hungarian translations...
...no one seems to understand me (as Eponymous Rox says). It's like the 'Green Girl Fiasco' in the Star Trek's pilot, 'The Cage', as mentioned in William Shater's 'Star Trek Memories' (page 66-69) (This book is a 'MUST READ'!).
The story: no one had seen a green girl on TV before, and no one had tried to make skin green. Every time they got the rushes back from the lab, the girl's skin was pink. So, they kept trying and trying, spending more money and time, and still the rushes came back pink. Roddenberry called the lab and thec technician said "I've been working overtime the last three nights trying to correct your actresses' lousy green skin tones".
So, I'm in the same boat with translation, I put certain words together, sometimes they've never been put together, I try to stretch the language a little in my own tiny way. Unfortunately, it looks like only my wife and can translate my books correctly...but she doesn't have the time.
A guy I know wanted to translate 'Man by a tree', as he thought it was fantastic. Now, this guy is a great translator, so I was very pleased. Then I got the first few pages and noticed he'd changed words, taken some out and added some too. So, not so great. My wife has done about 25 pages so far...
I'm still waiting on 'Bethlehem Fiasco'...
Now, 'Rage', I asked someone else to have a go at the 1st 3 parts. I was surprised. Without checking it, I immediately saw something. In Part 3, the first line is actually the first line I wrote in the whole book. It was going to be the 1st sentence but the structure changed. This is it...


“Phew! I’m so tired I could watch a dog grow.” 

It was translated to ...
- Fű! Olyan fáradt vagyok, hogy mindjárt összesek. 
...which if you re-translate (Google Translate + me changing it back to correct grammar)...
Phew! I'm so tired that I could collapse. (actually, Google Translate said "Grass" and not "Phew")

This is nothing like the original. Even Google Translate can do something with it...
- Pfuj! Olyan fáradt vagyok tudtam nézni egy kutyát nő.
...oh what to do...as a writer it is my responsibility to get the reader to understand. But how far do I have to reach? And how far does the reader try?